Yako's Joke
by RezleVettems
Summary: A slice-of-life story about Yako's unusual romance with Neuro and how they adapt to each other despite all odds. And what's this about a pregnancy? Each chapter is a stand alone story, usually. Don't expect too much plot!
1. Chapter 1

Yako's Jokes

Laughing at the comedian on the television, Yako had to hold her sides to stop herself from shaking uncontrollably. A slow day of the office forced Neuro to watch from his office chair as the man on the screen fell off the stage. Yako continued to laugh, tears coming from her eyes. Once the show ended, she grabbed the remote and clicked the power button. "He's so funny…" she happily sighed, wiping her eyes. Neuro simply turned towards the computer and turned it on.

"What's wrong Neuro? Didn't find him funny?" she asked, noticing only a smile on his face.

"He was amusing, just not funny," Neuro confidently said, insulting the comedian from his humble office. Yako then realized something. The only time Neuro ever laughs is if he's pumped with demon power. Suddenly the urge to see him laugh wrapped around her heart. "Okay, I'll see what makes him laugh," she told herself.

"Oh yeah, Neuro," she said. "I think I can solve the next case by myself. Maybe I can give it a try." She then paused, waiting for the mocking laughter. Nothing.

"Arthropods are incapable of solving cases," he remarked, throwing a book at her. Luckily she dodged it this time, only to get smacked with another one. She would have to wait for her next opportunity.

"Itadakimasu!" she happily cheered as she opened her bento box on the office table. Neuro continued researching whatever intrigued him on the computer as Yako began to dig into her rice. An idea struck her. She pushed her food aside and laid back. "I'm so full!" she loudly said. Nothing. "Well…that one was a bit unbelievable."

"Neuro," she called out. "Godai told me that he plans to leave and never return. He says he doesn't care what you do to him."

Neuro chuckled and smirked. "It would seem my slave has become more daring without his regularly timed punishments. I will prepare something horrible for him later."

"Crap…" Yako thought to herself. "Now Godai's going to suffer just because I wanted to make Neuro laugh…sorry."

"You know Neuro, maybe I'll quit this whole detective business and live with my sibling arthropods in the museum, how does that sound?" she asked, looking back at him.

"Sounds as if you've finally admitted your own lack of value and stupidity," he causally said, opening a book.

"That's it," Yako told herself. "I need something completely ridiculous, something absolutely stupid. I'm running out of ideas…"

"Neuro! I'm pregnant with your baby!" she yelled out. He placed his book down and rose from his seat. "Wait a minute…" Yako muttered, wondering what he was planning. Standing before her, he grabbed her hands softly and stared into her eyes.

"I suppose that drunken night has now forced us to wed it would seem," he said. "So be it. Even us demons take care of our spawn."

"Wait!! What?!" Yako shouted. "What drunken night?!"

"Naturally you wouldn't remember," Neuro said. "When I tried that human drink called liquor and forced you to drink it as well. I still remember some of that night. I had sneaked into your home late at night."

* * *

"_Ah! That shower felt great!" Yako said as she walked into her room, pajamas and all. She plopped onto her bed, sighing peacefully. Suddenly she heard a tap at the window. Rising from her bed to check it out, she couldn't believe it._

"_Neuro!!" she screamed, terrified by the demonic grin he had. _

"_Slave," he said. "What is this?" he asked as he crawled into her room._

"_Don't come into my room to ask me questions!" she fussed._

"_Answer the question or I'll stuff you into this bottle!" Neuro said, showing her the object that perplexed him. _

"_That's alcohol," Yako said. An idea sparked. "You should try some, you demons might like it. In the human world we play a game where we try to drink as much of it as we can as fast as we can."_

"_Is that so?" Neuro grinned. He grabbed her collar and dragged her close to him, pouring the alcohol down her mouth. "Then you try some first!!"_

* * *

"That's how it went," Neuro sweetly smiled. "I drank some afterwards and I suppose one thing led to another."

"Ne-neuro….you're kidding right?!" Yako asked, almost begging for him to say he was. Neuro bent over and wrapped his arms around Yako, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"If I were kidding, would I do this?" he sweetly said, licking her ear. She flinched as she felt the cold, wet tongue slide against her ear.

"No…." she muttered in horror. "This…is…impossible…"

She could feel her consciousness slip away. Her body laid limp in Neuro's arms. Finally he began to laugh. "Haha!" he started. "Haha!" he continued. "Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!!"

"Hey, what the hell is going on here?!" Godai fussed as he walked into the office.

"When Yako wakes up you are to act as if she is pregnant with my seed," Neuro grinned, tossing her to the couch.

"What the fuck?"

"Do it or I'll rip your eyes out so you can watch me rip your brains out," Neuro ordered.

"What the hell do you guys do when I'm gone?!" Godai fussed, plopping into his chair.


	2. Chapter 2

Woes of Pregnancy

Preparation for Pregnancy

"I can't believe this," Yako nervously said, shoving more food into her mouth. Kanae sat across from her at the restaurant table, unable to see her past the towers of empty dishes. "Yako, you okay?" Kanae asked, poking her head as far as she could but to no avail. "I'm pregnant with a demon's baby…this is completely unholy and wrong!" Yako thought to herself, stuffing as much shrimp in her mouth to block out her own thoughts. "What's even going to be?! A bird? Some evil toucan?!" A new worry bothered her now. "What if I end up laying an egg?! How weird is that?!" Yako panicked. She remembered the previous afternoon when Neuro told her about their drunken night of romance.

_She took a pregnancy test just in case. Unfortunately Neuro gave her the Evil Test, a demon tool that fakes positive results on a pregnancy test. Godai watched in horror as Neuro pulled out another impossible and useless tool. He seemed prepared for every thinkable situation. "Oh my god!" Yako said, coming out of the bathroom holding the little stick. "I really __**am**__ pregnant!"_

_Godai could see the evil grin on Neuro's face. His joke was transforming into a diabolical scheme all for the sake of humor. _

"I have to go!" Yako said, bowing to Kanae before dashing out of the establishment. "Wait! Don't leave me with the bill!!" Kanae fussed, clueless as to how expensive this excess food would be. "I might as well say farewell to any college funds I have left…"

"Lay an egg? This is bad," Yako said, holding her stomach. "How does a joke turn into this? Now, I'm pregnant! A demon toucan! How will I even take care of an egg?!"

Wondering what options she had, Yako looked around the busy city hoping a solution would shine among the hustle and bustle. It did. The library. Yako smiled as she raced across the street, forgetting the rules of traffic. Loud honks and brake stops told her to run faster until she finally made it to the other side. "I need to be more careful," she said. "I have to take care of two people now."

Gazing at the ten story library, she knew an answer lied somewhere within. Swallowing her fears, she marched in; readying her mind to face whatever truth lied in the books. Seeing the help desk, Yako quickly headed towards it. "Can…can I help you young lady?" the elderly woman asked.

"Yes…where are some books on birds?" Yako asked.

"Let me check," the employee said, typing on her computer. "That would be the fifth floor."

"Thank you," Yako said, running towards the elevator.

"No running in the library!"

"I just need to find the appropriate books and everything will be settled…" Yako said as the elevator lifted itself above the ground. "I think right now the most important question is where this egg is going to pop out from? My butt or my…."

Ding Dong!

"I'm here," Yako said, gripping onto her school bag before getting off. Heading towards the animal section, she found the bird area. She sighed in relief, no one else was here. "Egg hatching?" she muttered, seeing the book almost glowing. Flipping it open, she found her answer. "I better take this to a table and start reading." Skimming through the table of contents, she found the section titled "Hatching and Incubation."

"Incubation? That's what it's called?" Yako asked herself. "Let's see page twenty three. Here we are. What?!"

Scanning through the paragraphs, the information was shocking. "Incubation, or in other words, the period until the egg hatches, can last from ten to eighty days?! How long do I need to take care of this egg?!" She sighed, pulling put her notebook and pencil. It was time to take notes. Every detail in regards to the birth of her baby was essential.

"Ah, afternoon Yako," Neuro grinned as the teenager walked into the office. "What have you been up to since yesterday?"

"Well, I went to the library to research on birth giving and egg care," Yako casually said, pulling out her collection of books and folders of notes. "We have a lot of work to do."

"Oh really?" Neuro asked, nearly bursting into laughter with every crack in his voice. Truly this was much more amusing than torturing her physically.

"First thing first Neuro, as the man in this relationship you need to build me and the baby a nest," Yako said. "It has to be cozy and warm. You could use a few blankets and pillows to make it." Neuro tremble from the humor, he could feel his insides vibrate with the powerful urge to laugh out loud.

"The egg must stay constantly warm Neuro," Yako explained. "And so do I. Now there are many types of nests we can build but we need to find the perfect one that is roomy and spacious enough for both the egg and me."

Neuro couldn't believe how serious she was, the lie was completely sinking into her mind. Her attempt to make him laugh transformed into the greatest fun he's ever had.

"We'll have to keep a balanced humidity too," Yako stated. "Or else the egg will lose all its water to the atmosphere."

"Yes," Neuro said, trembling, now required to hide his smile with his hand. "Yes it would."

"Man, those are going to be some ugly as hell babies," Godia shouted, watching the entire event roll before his eyes from his desk.

"It's only going to be one egg," Yako said. "And it doesn't matter how the baby looks like as long as it's healthy and loved." Godai could only suck his teeth. Telling Yako the truth would cause Neuro to abuse and punish him in the worst way imaginable. He could tell the demon was having too much fun with this but what surprised him most was how caring Yako was about this half-demon, half-human baby she was going to have.

"It seems you have everything in order," Neuro said.

"Yes but now you have a very important job," Yako said, pointing at the puzzle eater.

"And what is that?"

"You and I have to go shopping to prepare me for the egg hatching," Yako informed.


	3. Chapter 3

Nest Shopping

Nest Shopping and The Truth

Yako and Neuro stepped into the expansive mall, viewing over the entire scene of numerous and unique items. Today they were to go shopping for any material needed to build Yako's nest. Neuro had already explained that demons have unique ways of being born; unfortunately his species was born from eggs, this was the truth. Yako seemed open to the idea after her initial freak out. A few books from the library answered her questions about egg-laying. She was ready.

"Since you're the man of the relationship, it's your job to gather material for the nest," she said. "I went ahead and withdrew some money from the agency account but that doesn't mean spend it all." Handing the money to Neuro out of her purse, she turned towards the clothing section. "I'm going to go look for some comfortable clothes to wear," Yako said, running off. Neuro chuckled again, holding his face to prevent himself from erupting in laughter. "This is too much," he said. "She actually believes it all! Well…I better fetch the pig her blanket."

Looking back, Yako could see her fiancé stepping into the bedroom department. "Man!" she loudly sighed, holding her belly. "I can't believe this is actually happening! I'm pregnant!" She was only able to keep a straight face in front of Neuro; she confessed to herself that she was still shocked by the whole thing. "What's mom going to think? Do I have to hide my baby from her? Ah! It could live with Neuro in the office and I'll come as much as I can…no…this is bad! I need to think of a good plan."

"Can I help you miss?" one of the store clerks asked. She was middle aged and slim, her wrinkles already beginning to sprout. "Why…um yes…" Yako nervously replied. "I'm looking for some comfortable, loose clothing that can still keep me warm."

"Taking a trip?" the woman asked as they walked towards the pajamas and shirts.

"Maybe to Hell…" Yako muttered.

Neuro examined the blankets from the rack, seeing which one would be best for a nest. "Hmm…it must be as convincing as possible," he said, pulling up a thick, green blanket. Squeezing it, it felt warm enough. He folded it and held it against his waist. "I'll need a few more than this. Who knows how fat she'll get since she won't be moving for a while." Suddenly a special blanket caught his attention, a blanket decorated with pictures of pigs.

"These all seem really nice!" Yako happily said, glad she could find the exact type of clothes she was searching for. She couldn't help but shake a little as the reality of her situation sunk further into her soul. The shirts were long and baggy but could at least fit on her shoulders. Trying them on, they reached all the way below her knees. "These are perfect! I'll take ten of them!" The clerk smiled, bringing the pile of clothes to the counter. Yako explored some more until she realized she needed some pajamas for herself. "I'll need a pajama hat and some slippers." She then turned, noticing a bucket on one of the displays. "I might need one of those for my morning sicknesses…"

"Alright Miss, that will be 42.38," the clerk said, ringing up and packing each item. Yako opened her purse and handed the woman a fifty dollar bill. "I wonder how Neuro is doing."

Neuro continued to laugh as he packed the basket with blankets and towels. "Hahahahahahahaha!" There were too many for the basket he carried so he tossed some onto his shoulders and on top of his head. "This should be enough for the nest!" he laughed.

"I see you're ready," Yako smiled, walking up to Neuro.

"Yes, shall we purchase these then?" he asked, still smiling.

"Yep, I already bought the clothes I'll need," Yako said, showing off the bags on her arms. She could see Neuro grinning devilishly. "I know what you're thinking," she fussed. "I know I'm going to get fat but that's entirely your fault!" The two of them walked over to the line, waiting their turn to pay for their nest materials. The demon looked down at Yako, he could see the tremble in her leg. This was it! She was absolutely pulled into the joke! Neuro grinned wider as he stepped closer to Yako.

"This is enough," Neuro grinned with his blank face. "I hope you realize this is all a joke. You're not really pregnant with my spawn." That struck like an arrow. Yako snapped her head back at Neuro.

"What?! What are you talking about?!" Yako fussed, holding her stomach.

"I used my demon tools to fake the pregnancy test," Neuro said. "There never was a drunken night!"

"I…don't believe you," Yako muttered.

"It was best to tell you now before it went too far," he said, laughing through his fangs.

"It's not that Neuro…I don't think you understand. Did you use the demon tool for just one pregnancy test stick?" Yako asked.

"Why yes," he blankly said.

"Neuro…I was so nervous about this baby that I took three tests just to make sure. I took one at the store where I bought the test, one at home, and then one in the office," Yako explained. "They all said I was pregnant. You only faked one. So that means I really am pregnant!"

"What?" Neuro asked, actually caught off guard. Yako was serious. Could it be she truly was pregnant?! With his child?! "I'm afraid that's impossible," Neuro smirked, waving his hair back, regaining his composure.

"Maybe that drunken night really did happen and you just forgot until you decided to pull a joke on me," Yako sternly said. "You forgot…but suddenly remembered…you didn't think it really happened and decided it'd be funny as a joke. Well Neuro…I am pregnant!" She was serious; he could tell this was no joke. Had that night really happened? Did he really get her pregnant?!


	4. Chapter 4

Science

The Answer and the Future

"Strip down," Neuro ordered the second he locked the office door. Yako looked back at him, appalled at the suggestion. "What are you trying to do? Get me more pregnant?!" she fussed. Neuro smirked and grabbed her head, dragging her to the other room. He tossed a thick, hospital coat at her. "You need to put this on," he said. "I will be setting up the Evil Ultrasound. It will scan for the baby. That coat will protect you from the demonic ultrasound waves."

"Thanks…" Yako said, slipping into the coat. She could hear Neuro summoning the machine, the electric buzzing and trembles of the ground. He seemed to have a tool for every occasion. When she was finished she plopped onto the chair, falling silent.

Knock. Knock.

"Have you braced yourself?" Neuro asked. No answer. Neuro took his glove off and scratched through the door. "Yako," he said, his eyes glowing in the dim room. Yako sat back in the chair, staring at the roof. "Ready to scan for the demon child?" Neuro asked.

"Neuro…are you going to help me take care of this baby? Now that you know I'm most likely pregnant?" Yako asked, her arms hung over the chair.

"Naturally," he said, retracting his claw. He said it as if it were common sense.

"Well…to tell you the truth I never imagined having a baby like this," Yako said, looking at Neuro. "Especially with a demon."

"In my opinion can you complain? Can you do any better? " Neuro asked, smirking. Clearly he thought high of himself. Yako sighed and hung her head back against the chair. "Well, I want our baby to grow up in a loving family. Do you think it's possible…maybe…for us to actually…form a relationship?"

Neuro chuckled, folding his arms. "It's possible. We'll have to see how time goes on. Despite how grim it is to say, even for a human you have some attractive qualities," Neuro confessed.

"You think I'm attractive?" Yako sweetly asked, blushing. Neuro reached for Yako's head, dragging her across the floor on her behind. "You mustn't delay the scan Yako," Neuro blankly said. "The Evil Ultrasound can only last so long."

"Neuro! There's eyeballs, tentacles, and horns coming out of this machine! Please tell me you're not going to stick anything anywhere inside of me…" Yako fussed, watching as the machine beat like a heart. "And why are you wearing a doctor's coat?!"

"I must fit the part," Neuro said, sitting down in his chair. He placed a pair of glasses on the bridge of the nose and grabbed his clipboard. "Now get in the machine or die a horrible death."

"Yeah…because that's what doctors say…" Yako whined before lying across the medical table. She watched as Neuro sanitized the probe with a cloth and pulled out the gel. "Neuro! There's an eyeball at the end of that probe?! It's blinking!"

"There is no need to worry," Neuro said, washing the eye in the sink. "It won't paralyze."

"Paralyze?! You're supposed to say _bite_!" Yako whined.

"Oh, you want it to bite instead?" Neuro asked. "What kind of kinky wife do you plan to be?"

"Just hurry it up," Yako said. Neuro squeezed the lotion into his palm, lifting Yako's shirt. "What are you doing?" she asked, looking over herself.

"I must apply the lotion," Neuro grinned, squeezing more of the green, bubbling lotion on to her skin. "Why's it green?!" Yako squealed. "And bubbling?!"

"Why are you asking numerous questions?" Neuro asked, turning his fingers into knives, chainsaws and scissors. "Okay, okay. I get it," Yako said. "It just feels a little weird…you know, you lifting my shirt."

"Obviously it wouldn't be the first time," Neuro grinned. He began rubbing the eyeball probe across her belly, watching the computer's screen. Yako closed her eyes and held her hands together. "Please don't let it have a beak, please don't let it have a beak, please don't let it have a beak!" she prayed.

"You know, I can hear you," Neuro said, looking back at Yako.

"Well I don't care," Yako said. "I'm not saying it would be bad if it had a beak but you know…it'd be nice to have a normal baby for my first try."

"Well, seeing as how you're human and the air is less dense here there is little chance it will be a demon child," Neuro said, viewing the screen. Yako turned her head and smiled. "Disappointed it won't be a puzzle-eating, hell oozing, mouth slobbering monster?" she asked.

"Of course not, I can always teach it to be a monster. You don't have to be a demon to act like one," he grinned. Suddenly there was a beep. Yako slightly rose from the table to look. Her heart jolted with excitement. Neuro had to admit, his did too. On the screen was the embryo. "It looks like a lizard," Neuro bluntly remarked. "Perhaps you had relations with a lizard."

"Hey shut up! That's our baby," Yako said. "Human babies always start off like that."

"And you complained when you thought it would have a beak," Neuro smiled. The two gazed at the image on the screen. Watching the baby move, Yako couldn't resist the smile on Neuro's face.

"Neuro…can I ask you something?" Yako said, moving up onto her elbows. Neuro removed his glasses and leaned back in the chair, keeping his eyes on the monitor.

"Neuro…isn't it beautiful?" she sweetly said.

"Yes…" he calmly replied, entranced. The readings showed that it shared his DNA. Tossing the papers aside, he kept his sight on the image of the baby, pressing the print button. It was the first time he remained attached to a single image, something Yako took notice to.

"I guess you can't torture me anymore," Yako smiled.

"That's not exactly true. After the baby is born and weaned I'm sure the torture will casually return," Neuro calmly said. "The baby could even help me torture you. It'll be a great form of bonding. Fun memories are ahead for us."

"What?! Tag teaming and ambushing the mother of the family?!" Yako fussed. "That's a new low!" Neuro chuckled, still watching the monitor.

"You know Yako, I've wondered why you were okay with having this baby," Neuro said, smirking at her, hinting that he knew. "Care to share?"

"Well…" she started. "If I were going to get pregnant as a teenager while still in high school and with a merciless demon who placed his stomach ahead of the concerns of others…at least…it's with someone who can take care of me when I need to be taken care of," Yako said, pulling her legs towards herself. "And we even have a business together so we have plenty of money."

"I see," Neuro smiled.

"Is there anything you want to say Neuro?" Yako asked, hoping to hear something heart spurring.

"Yes," he said. "I hope he doesn't need as much milk as I needed or else you'll be drained bone-dry. Like a skeleton."

"Neuro!"


	5. Chapter 5

Plans and Dreams

"Godai, look at this," Yako excitedly said. "I've wanted to do this is front of someone for so long!" Godai smiled, knowing exactly what she planned to do. Neuro busily typed away at the computer, peeking at Yako in curiosity. "What are you doing parasite?" he asked. Suddenly her arm rose into the air. "The father is…..YOU!" she loudly declared, pointing at the unsuspecting demon. "Pwahahahahahahahahahaha!!" Godai laughed, falling backwards in his seat. "Your dumbass got her pregnant!!" Neuro grinned and shoved his hands into his own desk. They seemed to slide right through, like a ghost. Before Godai realized it there was one demon claw choking him by the throat and one hand pulling his tongue out. He wanted to vomit but how when being strangled?

"Anyway," Neuro said. "I've already begun setting funds aside for the baby and any prenatal care you might need." Yako clapped her hands together in excitement as she walked up to Neuro in her first poofy shirt. It was brown with designs similar to a fine carpet. Wrapping around her loose baggy pants, it seemed to move with every movement she made. "It's nice to see you acting so responsible," Yako smiled, looking over the document Neuro had prepared on the computer. She could see all the numbers properly organized and set.

"So…uh…Neuro," Yako started. "Maybe we could have a party or something. Celebrate the miracle."

"A celebration for baby?" he asked. "That seems fine. We'd have a lot more money for it if we take some money from your food funds."

"Well...there's no need for an extravagant party anyway but it'll a good chance to get to know each other better," Yako sweet said.

"If we know each other too well we might find a reason to hate each other," Neuro blankly grinned, closing the files. "Then I might abandon you and the baby, leaving nothing behind but a million dollar gambling debt and empty beer bottles scattered across the office. Slave number two will have to take care of you at a failing noodle stand and instead resort to work as a yakuza where he will die but leave you a fortune of money."

"I hope you're kidding…" Yako muttered.

"Of course, that's only a fate low enough for Slave number 2…a man who cannot read any kanji with more than three strokes. Then again, can you call that a man?"

"You know, technically it'll be months before I'll need the nest," Yako said, looking at the empty space between the office and the room next to Akane. That's where she planned to have Neuro build the nest. "We need furniture for that empty room. It should be a bedroom," Yako said.

"Ah yes, that is where the sleep and sex shall occur," Neuro said. "I suppose the more human I become the more sex I'll need to sustain my animalistic lusts. Prepare yourself woman! I am merciless in more places than one!" he said, pointing at her. She slapped his finger to the side.

"That's also where the baby's crib is going to be! I won't do things like that with the baby in the same room!" she fussed. "That's just weird…"

"Why are you two so fuckin casual about this?!" Godai yelled, rising from the floor. "He's a goddamn demon! You're a goddamn human! You're a freakin teenager!!"

"It's okay," Yako said. "Neuro is trustworthy when it counts. And just imagine…" She then placed her small hand on the puzzle eater's shoulder. "Neuro might just figure out that the ultimate puzzle…is really love."

_Yako's Fantasy:_

"_Oh Yako," Neuro sweetly said in Yako's dream, placing a finger on her chin as his breath caressed her neck and lips. "How foolish I've been to abuse you and treat you so lowly…when…" A tear rolls down his face as he braces himself to let out his true emotions. "When all this time, my love for you __**is**__ my ultimate puzzle!"_

"_Oh Neuro…I'm so glad I got pregnant and that you got a promotion in the company to pay for my enormous food bills. I'm also glad that you found something else to wear besides the same old blue suit. I love you!"_

"_Kiss me Yako."_

"_Did you brush your fangs?"_

"_Of course!"_

"_Then have me!"_

"What fucking drugs are you taking?" Godai said, burning the fantasy Yako so carefully put together. "Besides, that frikin demon wouldn't let some kid stop him getting his goddamn ultimate mystery!"

"That's not true slave," Neuro said, rising from the seat. He began to walk over to the door that would lead to the new bedroom. "My plans for the ultimate puzzle will unfortunately have to wait. This is something I have little opposition to."

"Neuro…" Yako muttered, watching the demon examine the size and condition of the room. He stepped out with a smile, telling Yako it was big enough.

"It'll be best to be with the mountain pig and take care of the baby. If the ultimate puzzle were to arrive I would simply let it ripen and devour it at the appropriate time," Neuro maturely stated. "Despite the boar's delusional expectations of a shoujo-esque demon…it isn't exceedingly impossible to see myself with her, assuming she fits my taste."

"I hope that wasn't an innuendo…" Yako muttered.

"Aren't there numerous human traditions to perform before the birth of a child?" Neuro asked, looking at Yako who sat on his desk.

"Yeah…let's see…there's the baby shower, the engagement, the wedding….honeymoon…marriage classes…we have to buy a few books, baby shopping…and…oh my god!" Yako cried out.

"What?! Did your water break?!" Godai panicked.

"Don't be stupider than you already are," Neuro said. "She is only six weeks pregnant."

"Neuro….you have to meet my mom….we gotta explain this to her…she'll wonder where I'll be for nine months! Cooped up in an office, warming my egg in a nest made from blankets and quilts as I lay an egg from a demon!" Yako explained.

"You know…I've been meaning to ask but….what the hell is up with you guys and this nest?" Godai asked.


	6. Chapter 6

A Mother's Wrath

"Oh no…what am I going to do?" Yako said, her face shoved in her palms. "My mom isn't going to believe I'm laying an egg! She'll also want to be at the hospital when I'm giving birth! We're in trouble!" Neuro explained to her that it could take anywhere from ten to thirty days for it to hatch after the nine months of pregnancy. "She's going to cry about her underage high school daughter having a demon pelican for a baby!"

"I can assure you the child will not be a pelican," Neuro said as the two walked down the sidewalk. He questioned on whether or not to use his innocent face in front of her mother. It would be easier to simply show her he was a demon.

"Neuro, you better not turn into that evil parrot in front of my mother," Yako warned. "I want her to at least believe she is having a normal child."

"Why do you continuously change the species of the bird you think I am?" Neuro asked, pulling a book out of his jacket. He popped it open and began reading the first chapter as they walked along. Yako looked curiously at it. "What's that?" she asked.

"It's a book on how to be a good father," Neuro said before flipping the page.

"Neuro…" she warmly said, seeing the fatherly side of him she wanted. "Wait a minute! It says on the cover that the author is Satan! Satan wrote this book?!"

"Who else would?" Neuro smirked. "What better resource than the ruler of Hell on how to raise a child?"

"No!" Yako said, tossing the book in the garbage. "I don't want you writing 666's on my baby or teaching it to burn things with its eyes. Neuro, you know that devils and evil babies tend to kill their mother first! That's the rule! Reading your stupid Devil's Children for Dummies…." She grunted. "I'm praying it isn't born with tentacles and you want to use the world's greatest villain as a valuable source of information? I can just imagine what our child would do with those tentacles…"

"Are you going to have another fantasy sequence?" Neuro asked, not enjoying the first one. Yako pouted and continued walking. "There's no time for one. We have to hurry."

"Afraid it'll peck your eyes out?" Neuro said blankly. Yako couldn't tell if that was a joke or not. Despite the horrible reading material he chose she could only imagine Neuro as a good father. He was patient and calm, playful and surely he would be helpful as well.

"Since we're surprising your mother with such terrible news, I might as well kick down the door and beat her senseless," Neuro said, pulling out his nailed, bloodied baseball bat. Yako was surprised to see it covered in mouths. "It'll make the pregnancy look like a deed of heroics as her blood pours from her skull. Nothing would compare to the pain she would be in."

"Your jokes border onto flat out maliciousness," Yako sighed, "I never imagined the words_ bloody_, _pregnancy_, _skull_, and _heroics_ all in the same sentence." Seeing the gate of her house coming up, she pulled out her key before unlocking the door. "And Neuro…please…she's only human, don't scare her…for my sake."

"For your sake?" Neuro asked. "That seems interesting. This thing…what do you call it? Charity? Benevolence? In Hell, there is no word for such an alien concept."

"Stop kidding around," Yako said. "Mom! I'm home!"

Stepping out of the kitchen, she smiled as the two walked in. Neuro sat himself in the living room on the couch as Yako made her way into the kitchen.

"I see you brought your assistant over," Mrs. Katsuragi said. "You know, I always thought he was so cute. Maybe you should ask him out."

"I'm glad you think so," Yako nervously chuckled.

"I just hope you didn't bring him over here to inform me that he got you pregnant," Mrs. Katsuragi said, drying the plate in her hand.

"Of course….not?" Yako nervously replied. "Um…we were just…I….Neuro…"

"Oh, you know I'm just kidding around!" her mother laughed. "You know how my crazy mind worries about you and imagines the worst things happening to you. I get scared sometimes." Yako found herself in a hard place right now. She had to tell her mother yet not tell her mother. Looking at Neuro in the other room, he simply pulled out the horrible baseball bat, suggesting they give it a try now. Yako shook her head.

"You know what's funny mom?" she asked, rubbing the back of her head.

"What?"

"I kinda did come here to tell you I'm pregnant."

"WHAT?!" her mother screeched. Neuro smiled as he heard the horrible wail from the living room. "My future wife is so tactful," he said.

"YOU MONSTER!!" Mrs. Katsuragi growled as she stomped into the living room. She had no idea how right she was. "YOU GOT MY BABY PREGNANT! I'LL KILL YOU!! Yako get me my biggest knife! Now! I'll slit his throat!"

"Mom, please settle down, it's okay," Yako said.

"How can I calm down?! This bastard got my baby a baby!"

"Mom, please! All this yelling isn't good for the baby," Yako said. Staring into her daughter's eye, she began to calm herself through breathing. She looked at Neuro as she sat down in the chair across from him. Yako took her spot next to him. The worst thing to do now was cause Yako any stress that could harm the baby.

"So mom…you probably want an explanation," Yako chuckled.

"No Yako, I already have a good idea of what is going on," Mrs. Katsuragi said.

**Mrs. Katsuragi's Fantasy…or Nightmare:**

_Yako walked down the reeking alley, her clothes ragged and a half empty bottle of alcohol in her hand with a tie wrapped around her forehead. "Now with my daddy dead…I have a gap in my life that needs to be filled."_

"_Sensei! I like you!" Neuro innocently said. "Can I help you fill that gap?"_

"_You sure can! Give me a baby!! Only a baby will fill the void in my life!!" Yako snarled, grabbing Neuro by the collar._

"_No sensei, please! We must wait until marriage! We should get to know each other first and fall in love!" Neuro begged._

"_Screw dat shit! You's gonna give me a baby to fill my void! I need something to love! Now, we can do this the hard way or the rape-hard way," Yako fiendishly grinned._

"_The hard way….please…" Neuro cried as Yako dragged her helpless assistant into the dumpster._

"_Woohoo! I'm pregnant!!" Yako cheered in her drunken frenzy. "Now let's find some illegal drugs, smuggled weapons, and pimps that treat me like crap! My baby is going to live the street life!"_

"_Please don't do this…I can get an honest job and we could struggle but at least we'll be happy and just," Neuro begged, his clothes torn and ravaged by Yako's sexually abusive nature. She kicked him in the chin. "Shut the fuck up bitch! My baby is going to be the next Katekyo Hitman and make his mommy a millionaire! You're only around for the sex!! Now let's go hang out with the wrong kind of people!!"_

"My poor baby…" Mrs. Katsuragi cried, wiping her eyes with her wash cloth. "Living on the streets and mingling with drug dealers just to pay for her maternity bills…Yako…oh Yako."

Yako could only watched in horror as her mother unfolded the dreaded fantasy. Apparently being a teenage mother was similar to being a crack mama on the street to her mother. "Mom! It isn't like that!" Yako fussed.

"I don't know," Neuro grinned. "Her version is much more interesting. We could keep it and tell the baby that story. Of course we might need to change my role a little bit in that fantasy."

"Neuro!" Yako fussed. "Mom! It's not like that at all. I didn't get pregnant to fill some void. That's what my food is for."

"How blunt," Neuro said. "Though you ate a lot before your father's death. I sometimes think there may be a black hole where your stomach should be."

"Then tell me," Mrs. Katsuragi pleaded. "Tell me the truth! Hide nothing from your mother!"

"Well, I snuck in her room and we both got dru-"

"Neuro! Let me tell her!" Yako said, placing a hand over the demon's mouth. He obviously loved torturing her mother. "You know how relationships are," Yako started. "We started having…um…sexual relations…but one day…you know…birth control doesn't always work."

"Plus there is no birth protection big enough for my-" Neuro said innocently.

"Neuro!! Don't talk about your pe-…um…never mind." Yako sighed. "Mom…it's okay. I plan to keep the baby and raise it with Neuro. We have plenty of money from the detective agency."

"So…my daughter's getting married?" Mrs. Katsuragi asked.

"I suppose we are," Yako said. "Neuro and I believe there might be a chance…you know…it could work out for the best."

"Yes, Yako is more than willing to settle for me," Neuro calmly said. "I'm just glad she has given me a chance to make her happy. I will try my best to raise the child the best I can." Yako watched in awe at the amazingly cool maturity he spoke with. Was he being serious?

"I'm glad to hear that," Mrs. Katsuragi said. "Well Neuro, please take care of my daughter. From what I hear she is quite abusive to you. I just hope you can handle her food wages."

"My only fear is that the baby will devour us out of house and home," Neuro smiled, patted Yako's head. "I've actually caught Yako eating walls and chewing on furniture."

"Yako…you sure have some unusual cravings…even for a pregnant woman," Mrs. Katsuragi remarked.

"None of that's true!" Yako said. "He's just kidding! Something he needs to stoop before innocent people get the wrong idea."

"I do not anticipate how her cravings will be like," Neuro said. "Will my assistant salary be able to afford such high amounts of food?" He then pulled out a brochure, handing it to Mrs. Katsuragi. "Yako has already purchased multiple warehouses of food for her pregnancy. She now supports half of Japan's economy I'm afraid."

"That's enough now," Yako said. "These lies are becoming too elaborate."

"Before we had one warehouse to support her," her mother sighed. "I suppose it's good for the economy."

"Mom! Don't tell him about that!" Yako fussed.

"It's not like I'm telling him about that crush you had on Yugioh. Oops!" her mother accidentally revealed, returning to the dishes.

"You truly are pathetic," Neuro grinned. "Yugioh? If you had his baby it would simply be a pile of cards with terrible hair."

"As you might have guessed, I like people with bad tastes in hair," Yako smirked, flicking Neuro's bang into the air. Did she just smart sass him?


	7. Chapter 7

Inform the World

Inform the World

"At least we handled that somewhat decently," Yako said, rubbing her stomach as they left her home. Neuro smirked, amused by the short time spent there. Yako could only imagine kicking Neuro in his demon jewels until he cried in pain. His merciless onslaught of teases in front of his mother might have given her the wrong idea about Yako. "Why do you consistently rub your stomach?" Neuro asked, looking at her. "You probably wouldn't understand, being a demon **and** a male," Yako smiled. "But it feels special and warm…knowing something is growing inside of you. You should rub it."

"And get my hand eaten alive?" Neuro remarked.

"Come on," Yako said, bumping her hip into Neuro. "Rub my belly."

"If I lay with dogs, I'll catch fleas," Neuro smirked.

"Rub my belly!" Yako smiled, lifting her shirt up. "Come on! Take a rub!"

Neuro simply grinned and continued walking. He had yet another plan to humiliate her.

"You're just shy," Yako laughed. "But you weren't shy when you got me pregnant. Rub it! Rub my belly!" Suddenly Neuro began to run.

"Wait a minute! You're actually running away?!" Yako said in shock. "Come back and rub me! It's all for you Neuro!" She found herself chasing Neuro with her fingers lifting her shirt up, her stomach exposed as she ran. Neuro grinned as he turned the corner. Yako followed him, suddenly bumping into a tall gentleman.

"Mr. Sasazuka," Neuro innocently said, hiding behind the officer. "Sensei is running around the streets, flashing her chest at innocent people!"

"What?! That's not true!" Yako said, realizing how unusual the sight of her dashing through the streets with her open shirt. "Mr. Sasazuka, I wasn't flashing anybody. Really."

"I believe you," Sasazuka said, "But I'd like to know what's going on."

"Well…it's kind of hard to explain…" Yako said. "I was trying to get Neuro to rub my stomach because…well…I'm having baby."

"Really?" Sasazuka said, surprised by only expressing it with a slightly opened mouth. He lit a cigarette from his pocket before continuing. "Is it mine?"

"N-no…why would it be yours?" she asked, putting her shirt back down.

"I don't know," he replied. "I usually tend to second guess and question everything. Just making sure."

"So…would you have believed me if I said it was?" Yako asked.

"Probably," Sasazuka said, breathing out a cloud of smoke. "Life is a twisted jester. I assume you got pregnant to fill the empty void in your life from your father's death."

"No! Why do people think that? Wait…Mr. Sasazuka…are you…high?" Yako asked, sniffing the unusual odor of the cigarette. He had bags under his eyes and an oddly peaceful look about him.

"I might be," he said. "Down at the police station the guys like to pull pranks on me by switching the tobacco inside my cigarette with marijuana. They say I tend to get poetic and paranoid when I smoke it."

"What kind of prank is that?" Yako asked. "Well…I can't really be around you when you smoke. I have to consider my precious baby."

"I agree," Sasazuka said. "But remember this Yako Katsuragi. A child is simply the ripple that echoes, touching all though mute, sounding and forming the world with just existence, giving the moon its meaning with the gleaming eyes of awe and wonder, blessing the world with the dormant meanings awoken by birth and laughter." After that he waved her off before turning and walking away.

"What did he just say?" Yako asked, muddled by the melody of words that suddenly came from the officer's mouth.

"It was beautiful," Neuro said, pulling out a tissue.

"Stop acting like you're crying you heartless monster," Yako said, seeing through the façade.

"This napkin isn't for me," he said. "Your face is filthy. If you're going to be my wife you'll have to do something about your horrid odor and lack of hygiene."

"Don't groom me!" Yako said. "I'm a clean person. You're the person who literally smells like Hell."

"You don't like my sulfuric acid cologne?"

"Why would anybody like that? You should try to smell like a human," Yako said. "Like me. I bathe regularly and always keep a well groomed form."

"You smell like bacon," Neuro said.

"So? It's not like I love the smell of bacon so much that I have a perfume that smells like bacon…" Yako nervously said, reminding herself to hide her perfume from Neuro so he wouldn't find out the dreaded truth.

The two continued to walk down the sidewalk, looking around as usual to busy themselves. Yako made sure to slip her vision over to Neuro, curious as to what he was thinking or how he was acting. "Have any idea what you want to name the baby?" Yako asked.

"Lucifer Beelzebub Hellsing Nogami," Neuro said. "Or Ultimate Mystery, then I can eat him and all will be fine with the world."

"Dark humor huh?" Yako sighed. "Well, what if it's a girl?" Suddenly she imagined a baby girl with Neuro's evil, glowing eyes. It resembled an evil doll more than a living creature. Yako flinched at the malevolent smile it would give her. "I hope it has my eyes…" Yako said. "I don't want any girl of mine to have wheels for eyes."

"A girl?" Neuro muttered. He never really thought of the gender of the child, a part of him assumed it would be a male. Maybe that was his hope from the beginning.

"Rom Piku sounds nice," Yako said, "But a little weird. How about Kaede? Or…Sakura?"

"You want to name the child after a tree?" Neuro asked, looking down at her with a judgmental expression burnt into his eyes. He was beginning to lose faith in Yako's name-picking abilities. Then it struck him. What if the child had Neuro's taste for puzzles but had Yako's appetite? It would have to solve dozens of mysteries every day just to feel half full. "I will think of a name suitable for the child," Neuro said. "You can pick out the ones you like and remove the ones you dislike. If I leave it up to you you'll end up naming it after your favorite brand of cat food."

"I'm not that gluttonous," Yako said. "And I'm still going to help think of names. In the end Neuro this baby will be mine. It's my maternal bond with it. If I'm not happy with the name…then I won't feel satisfied."

"I see," Neuro said. "You human women are unique. Unlike demons you feel a deep attachment to your spawn, even before they are born. In Hell we give ourselves names."

"I hope you at least try to learn more about how I feel before we have this baby," Yako suggested. "I want it to grow in a loving environment with people who care for each other."

"You are one greedy woman," Neuro smirked. "But I was never one to back down from a challenge. You'll have your happy family, even if I have to use my 777 Tools!"

"You don't have to treat it like a competition, I just want a normal family," Yako explained. "Or at least as normal as we can get."

"So now that your mother knows about the pregnancy, what is the next step?" Neuro asked. Yako placed her finger on her chin, thinking carefully what to do. "We'll have to prepare ourselves to live as a family. We need to organize and learn everything we need to learn. First the basics!"

"What are the basics, worm?"

"Besides not calling your wife a worm, we have to learn how to take care of a baby in the first place, how to cook, how to prepare its food, how to set up a safe environment," Yako said. "I'll sign us up for baby care class. We can learn how to use diapers and how to clean up our baby!" she excitedly said. Neuro looked at her in bafflement.

"What's a diaper?" he asked. Yako stared at him in silent horror.

"What kind of babyhood do you demons have?!" she fussed. "A diaper is like underwear for babies except you have to throw it away because they use it as the bathroom."

"Really?" Neuro said, believing it only half-heartedly.

"You know what Neuro…before you even get started, don't tell me what demons do as an alternative to diapers," Yako said.

"It's nothing unusual, we just have a different name for them in Hell," Neuro said.

"Really? You mean there is one aspect of your existence that doesn't defy all logic and rational thought?!" Yako excitedly asked. It's as if God was blessing her with this light out of the darkness.

"We have diapers in Hell, we just call them packies," Neuro said. "It's the baby's job to kill the leonus of course."

"Wait….what?"

"The leonis is what packies are made of, they are miniature dragons that a baby must kill and tear the flesh off of so they can turn its skin into a packie," Neuro explained.

"OH. MY. GOD," Yako said. "What is the point in all that?! Just buy a pampers! They're made from such simple material! You can even make reusable diapers out of cotton!"

"But in Hell, sheep tries to shave you," Neuro said. Yako couldn't help but think of some bad Russian comedian.

"Well, we're not in Hell. We use diapers for our newborns. Now rub my belly!"

"I have no problem with that," Neuro said.

"Then why did you run?!"

"Because I knew Sasazuka was around the corner."

"You actually go out of your way to bother me?"

"This actually feels soft," Neuro said as he gently moved his hand across Yako's soft stomach. "And warm."

"You like it? It probably feels different knowing something is growing inside of me."

"I was expecting it to be tighter from all the food you pack in there, like a squirrel ready for winter." Yako decided to ignore that comment; instead she chose to enjoy the expression of calm serenity on the demon's face as he gazed at her stomach.

"What are you thinking about Neuro?" she softly asked.

"I'm hoping this child doesn't smell like bacon and have crushes on weird anime characters like you," he smirked.

"Never a compliment for me huh?"

"To be honest, the pregnancy does add a certain glow to you," Neuro said. "Certainly helps with your looks." Yako didn't fuss this time, before the relationship went any further she decided she wanted to know now. It was one of the basics behind affection, at least she thought.

"So Neuro…do you think I'm attractive or not?" she asked. He looked down at her, wondering what she was trying to get at. She smiled. "It's just a simple yes or no question. I won't take anything else for an answer."

"I might come up with an answer if I see you naked," Neuro said.

"What?! You already had your fill of my naked body or does your pigeon of doom pecking out of my belly mean nothing?!" she asked, pointing at her stomach as if she expected a beak to pop out any second.

"If you must know," Neuro grinned. "You are my type in looks. At least for a human. You're flat chested and skinny."

"Somehow I don't feel like I've been complimented…"


	8. Chapter 8

Baby Class-Diapers

"This must be it," Yako said, walking down the hallway of the activity center. Neuro followed her, awaiting his fate in the baby class he was to attend with her. This baby would be more human than demon so it would be best to pay attention. Yako opened the door, gasping in excitement as she saw the other couples standing at their counters.

"Neuro! Look! Look at all the happy couples!" she cheered. Neuro glanced around, seeing the couples walk and talk like chickens.

"I can't believe it, there's other women on this planet that are pregnant," he sarcastically remarked with his innocent face.

"Oh shut up," Yako said.

One of the women came up to a group of pregnant women. "Let's have a belly contest!!" she screamed in utter joy, waving her hands around. They lined up and one man pulled out a measuring tape, seeing whose stomach had expanded the furthest.

"They….have these kinds of things?" Yako asked in fear. Neuro smirked with amusement and disgust.

"It's like they're measuring cows," he remarked. "Only humans would measure the size of their fetuses. Maybe you could show them your egg or the drawings of how you want the nest to look like."

"I think I'll pass…" Yako said, peeking at her pictures in her purse. Neuro had made his own edits, drawing cannons and tentacles on the nest.

"Let's find a desk before they decide to measure how much of their broken water could fill a cup…" Neuro said, pointing at the counter at the end of the room.

"But I want to mingle with my fellow preggos!" Yako said as Neuro pulled her away.

"Welcome to our class you new, happy couples!" a bubbly woman cheered, walking in with a smile that pumped her face with fat. The women returned to their respective counters, forced to put their morning sickness comparison contest on hold.

"I see a bunch of happy and beautiful looking couples here," she said.

"But my fiancé says that the woman over there looks obese, not pregnant," Neuro said.

"Well….I assure you no one is here to lie about being pregnant," the teacher said. "Shall we begin? You may pull out your practice babies from under the desk. Be gentle with them, they represent your future baby. Treat it the way you would treat your baby."

"Neuro! Stop picking it up by the leg!" Yako fussed, pulling it violently by the leg. "Don't grab it by the skull either!" This time they both were pulling hard until finally it's head and legs popped off.

"Wait, I recognize you," the teacher said. "You're the high school detective Yako Katsuragi right?! It's so nice to meet you in person!"

"Isn't she the glutton detective?" one woman asked.

"I've heard people say fat ass and big mouth detective," Another muttered.

"Isn't she a little young to get pregnant?"

"Now, now. We're not here to judge," the teacher said, returning to the front of the class.

"Thank you," Yako said, snatching the baby out of Neuro's hands. He even picked the head up and juggled it.

"First, I want you all to know this is an open class and it is better to ask then to guess when the time finally comes," the teacher said. "And remember, we're not here to discuss why or how someone got pregnant. All we're here to do is learn how to raise a healthy new born in the world."

"I suppose they'll be open when you tell them you can turn your baby into an omelet," Neuro whispered.

"Hush! This is important. I want you to pay attention Neuro, this is for our baby," Yako said.

"First, I want our fathers to grab a diaper and great ready to put it on their practice baby," the teacher said. Neuro winked at Yako, telling her he remembered what a diaper was. He grabbed it from his pocket and lifted the practice baby by the leg again. He then slammed it on the table, smiling brightly as he did it. He grasped the baby's throat as he monstrously tore off the diaper it had already worn, popping a leg off. Yako could only compare the process to a chicken's slaughter before it became nuggets.

Neuro swiftly grabbed a paper towel and rubbed the practice baby's butt so hard it flung into the roof and stayed there.

"Stop killing my baby!!" Yako panicked, stepping onto the counter to retrieve the doll from the roof.

"That's dangerous," Neuro said, placing his hands on Yako's hips and carefully placing her down. "I'll get it." He got it. Yako watched in horror as he used his demon claws to pull it out. His razor-sharp nails pierced the doll's head, neck and torso. Yako was simply jaw dropped.

"Instructor," Neuro called out. "We need a new baby."

"No…" Yako said, covering her stomach. "I'm not letting you touch my baby like that."

"I'll be careful next time," Neuro grinned, finding it funny. The instructor hesitated to take the punctured and beaten baby doll from Neuro but did so in the end. She handed him another doll, praying he didn't destroy it like he did the other doll.

"Move, I'll do it," Yako said, bumping Neuro aside. "You watch me first. We're going to be dealing with a human baby. Imagine this doll filled with…I don't know…dirt. That's how about how much the real baby is going to weigh. You have to be gentle with it."

"The baby's only going to weigh so little?" Neuro curiously asked, never really taking the time to understand babies. Yako smiled proudly, imagining the feeling of holding such a light-weighted new born in her arms.

"Yep…that's almost exactly how it's going to be like," she said. "Now watch." Tugging at the diaper, she peeled off the tape-like seals on the two ends of the diaper and slowly removed the entire diaper.

"See," Yako said. "It's not like you're trying to rip panties off."

"Yes…" Neuro said with his blank face. "Panties."

"Pay attention. We don't use paper towels," Yako informed. "It would dry the baby's skin and give it a rash. We use Baby Wipes. They're soft and slightly wet so the baby isn't hurt in any way."

"These babies require a lot of caring," Neuro said, marveled at the number of baby specific products he had been introduced to so far. He had yet to see the rest.

"Exactly Neuro," Yako said. "This is serious. Babies are fragile creatures. Sometimes they'll annoy you and other times they'll make you feel like nothing else matters…at least that's what my mom said. I want our baby to be raised right Neuro. We can't always joke around like we usually do with a baby. It's going to become our top priority."

Neuro gazed at her, seeing the combination of maternal care and animal-like defense in such a small human like Yako. This is what babies could do to a woman? Is this what babies could do to any person?

"I will try again," Neuro said, his smile expanding. "Hand me the baby."

Yako lifted it up and held it to her chest like a real baby, trying to simulate a realistic situation as possible. Neuro gently carried it and placed it onto the counter. Yako, closely standing next to him, watched as he grabbed the baby wipes. Yako was surprised by how gentle he was with the baby. He lightly wiped it and placed a new diaper on correctly, simply reversing the process of taking one off.

Despite the fact that he forget to powder the baby, Yako was more than pleased. "You did it Neuro," she said. "See, it wasn't that hard."

He then turned and grinned with a dark pleasure. Yako face palmed her head.

"Please stop hanging the baby with your middle finger up its rear," she fussed.

"Come now, Yako," Neuro grinned, placing his hand on her shoulder and leaning in towards her. "Can't be serious all the time."

"Excuse me," the teacher said, popping open her cell phone and looking at the screen. She began to heads towards the door. "This is an important call; I'll be back in a minute."

The other pregnant women waited for her to leave. "So," one said, holding her large, gelatinous stomach. "Who wants to have a kicking contest?"

"A kicking contest?" Yako asked. The pregnant woman turned to Yako and smirked.

"It's when pregnant women put their large stomachs together and have the babies kicked each other's feet, the baby to stop first loses," she explained.

"How can these women use their unborn children for sport?!" Yako said. Neuro placed his mouth near her ear and whispered. "Believe me, if it was our child in that contest, it would win," he said.

"Winning isn't important," Yako said. "These women are starting to scare me."


	9. Chapter 9

Lunch Confessions

The class was on a lunch break now, allowing the women to scatter off with their men to satisfy their cravings. Yako envied them; she was actually looking forward to her cravings. Glancing at Neuro he held up the practice baby, wondering if she would eat it out of gluttony. "I'm not hungry enough to eat babies," Yako said.

"But there is a breaking point correct? A moment where you'll be desperate enough to eat one?" he playfully asked, tossing the baby back onto the counter.

"Come on, it's time you learn what my favorite foods are," Yako said. "Maybe you could try some out….you know…instead of mysteries…"

"What's your favorite flavor? Everything?" Neuro said as he walked alongside her.

Entering the eatery, Yako and Neuro were given a table quickly. The waiters were literally doing somersaults around the place, back-flipping and spinning in the air. Yako watch in amazement as they gliding across the floor as well, delivering plates and menus. "What should I get?" Yako excitedly asked, already loving everything on the menu.

"It's a shame there's no slop on the menu," Neuro said. "Now you'll have to eat people food like the rest of us."

"I'm not a pig," Yako smiled. "But you better prepare your wallet."

"Ah yes, how will we spend my five dollars?" Neuro asked.

"That's all you brought?!"

"You ate all my money earlier remember?" Neuro innocently asked. "You thought it was grass and ate it all so quickly, like a cow. Then asked me to milk you. It was especially awkward to do it on the train with everyone looking."

"Don't try and trick me," Yako countered.

"I can write a check or use the credit card instead," Neuro said, whipping them all out.

"When did you sign up for all that stuff? And when did you get a bank account?"

"Bank account? No, none of these credit cards or checkbooks are mine," Neuro smiled.

"Thief! Already my fiancé resorts to stealing to pay my bills…my life is truly in the dumps," Yako moaned.

"It's too early to say that," Neuro replied. "I could get killed by yakuza, choke on an egg, or simply kill myself after sleeping next to you for the first time. What grand horrors await us at the altar? Or the kinky, sadistic demands you wish of me on our honeymoon? I fear my fragile body will be crushed under the snap of the spiked whip that turns you on so dearly."

Yako looked to the left, looked to the right, glared at Neuro and then turned to the left once again. "I am in despair! My money-stealing, suicidal, sadistic, unyielding demon hawk of a husband has left me in despair!"

"Calm down," Neuro muttered. "Your reference to popular anime is lost on me. Besides, I am comedic. I hold no plans of leaving you."

"Well….I know but… Yako happily sighed.

"Yet."

"What was that?"

"I said _yet_, as in there might be a reason to leave you that could pop up anytime soon," Neuro happily said. "I for one am curious as to what it is." Nervously stepping up to the table, the waiter pulled out his notepad, hoping he could ask the fearful demon and his mentally unstable spouse what they would like to order.

"Perfect!" Yako cheered. "We can see how much you know about me. Order something you'd think I like."

"A challenge? And my reward?" Neuro asked.

"How about a kiss?"

"Could I have a kick to the ass instead? Or a knife through the neck?"

"Just accept my love!!"

"Fine. She would like two orders of anything that was slaughtered before coming here," Neuro said. "I pray I can get at least a taste of something. My fiancé is exceedingly greedy. She almost bit my arm off earlier, confusing it for a ten pound ham." The waiter nodded, quickly dashing back to the kitchen.

"You know Neuro, you're not being very sincere about all of this," Yako said. "You keep joking about leaving me or making fun of my eating habits. Eventually it begins to lose its charm and starts to look like pure cruelty."

"You're afraid I hold no sentiment?"

"Well….yes. It would be nice to receive some sort of affection from you. Even a single compliment. You say you want to give it a shot but then you keep saying you're going to leave. It's hard to tell that it's a joke anymore."

"I see. You human women are obviously more sensitive then I expected," Neuro said.

"Hey, stop being sexist."

"If you're afraid of my leaving then I will assure you that will not occur unless I die. As for a compliment, you'll have to earn it."

"Earn it? My pregnancy is not enough?"

"Your pregnancy is more than enough. I simply want you to earn it in a different way."

"If you mean **this** and **that** you're pushing it," Yako said. "That's how this stomach of mine happened. Besides it's too soon."

"I simply want my reward. You forgot to give it to me."

"Your…reward? You mean the kiss? You actually want that?"

"I don't want a liar for a wife. If you can't even give a kiss, who knows what else you will restrain from me. Give me my reward and you will receive your compliment." Blushing, Yako nodded, leaning over the table. Neuro grinned as she came closer.

"You're taking too long," he smiled.

"Well…yeah. This is kind of embarrassing…especially in public."

"Then I'll help." Placing his hand behind her head, he pulled her in, sealing their lips. Yako was surprised by the sudden movement but embraced it nonetheless. She could still feel Neuro's smile and his hair came in contact with hers.

Separating from him, she couldn't stop smiling. "So…um….my compliment?"

"Yes," Neuro grinned. "You have good taste in men. Good job."

"What…the hell? That's not a compliment!"

"You human women are too picky."

"You demon men are too rude."

"When did our chapters become so filled with dialogue? Now we have to focus on verbal jokes and teasing…" Neuro sighed.

"What are you talking about?"

"The story is degrading….eventually we'll have to run out of jokes and it'll be all over. No one will read about us anymore. How many pregnant jokes can we possibly make until we are forced to say perverted things simply for a cheap laugh?"

"That's true, our baby has to grow up in a good fanfic." Yako said. "We must strive to remain as funny as possible for the readers and get the best reviews. Any ideas?"

"We could go to the store and read Gintama until something funny pops up," Neuro said.

"That sounds good," Yako replied. "But after lunch and the classes."

"Indeed. You must try your best to fill the void in your stomach."

"Before we eat, how about….another kiss?"

"Greedy aren't you? You'll have to come and get it yourself lowly human."

"Wait...did we just break the fourth wall?!"


	10. Chapter 10

Baby Class-Chest Lessons

Baby Class-Chest Lessons

The teacher walked up to the head of the class, smiling at all the happy couples at their designated counters. Yako and Neuro stood patiently for the next lesson the teacher would unleash upon them. "Okay couples, I will now teach you about breastfeeding!"

"AH YEAH!!" the men screamed. A few of them grabbed their champagne bottles and popped the cork off, spewing the drinks all over the place. One man grabbed some fireworks and began launching them inside the building in celebration. "Start the lesson!" they happily screamed. "Breasts!!"

"What's wrong Neuro? Not going to join in their games?" Yako asked. Neuro grinned.

"I can see your breasts whenever I want. Apparently some of these wives restrict their husbands."

"I can see the men are very excited about this…" the teacher nervously smiled. "But we must stay as mature as possible when dealing with this issue. Breastfeeding is a very special moment between a mother and her newborn baby. Not only does the baby get the proper nutrients from a well-fed and healthy mother."

"Well fed?" Neuro muttered. "No problem there."

"But a sentimental and very deep bond is formed between the mother and her child as she holds them in her arms and allows it to nurse from her."

"Gosh…" one man said, rubbing the back of his head. "Now I just feel dirty for the way I acted."

"Yeah! Breastfeeding is an important and tender time for my wife…I guess I should just hold back on my filthy thoughts."

"Wow! These men sure changed quickly!" Yako said. "What do you think Neuro?"

"I'll wait until I see it," the demon replied.

"Now, babies have a natural sucking reflex that allows them to nurse and swallow milk naturally," the teacher explained. Neuro couldn't help but perceive this as babies being natural gluttons. It would seem humans were born eager to satisfy themselves no matter the cost. A very dark perception on a baby's meal time.

"Breastfeeding can last up to half a year before weaning should begin," the teacher explained.

One man raised his hand. "What does arts and crafts have to do with babies?"

Another man raised his hand. "What does pulling weeds out of our garden have to do with babies?"

"No, no, no," the teacher replied. "Weaning, not weaving or weeding. This is when you stop feeding the baby milk and introduce it to soft foods. Some people like to start with baby food or other soft things added with sips of water."

"You know Neuro, how come the author of this fanfic knows so much about babies and pregnancy?" Yako asked.

"I have no clue," Neuro responded. "But don't waste fanfic space talking about such trivial things. We must pay attention lest our baby suffers at your neglect."

**Neuro's Fantasy:**

"_I'm off to work honey!" Neuro cheered, walking out of the door with his suit, suitcase, and hat. "You two don't stop looking beautiful!"_

"_Have a nice day at work Neuro!" Yako said, waving him off as she fed the baby in its high chair. "Durrrr…..now that's Neuro gone I can be my usual mentally handicapped self….durrr…..maybe my young baby will enjoy a fresh, entire pineapple. Durrr….or maybe you want a crusty old banana I keep in my shoe….durrr…Forget that! You can be the world's heaviest alcoholic but we have to train you young! I'll go get the sake!"_

_Hours later…._

"_Honey, I'm home! Oh my goodness!" Neuro shrieked. "Stop trying to cook my baby!"_

"_But I was hungry! I need some meat!" Yako whined as she began to stir the pot with the baby happily giggling inside. "Do you like your baby with sliced apples or shredded banana?"_

"_I knew you were mentally insufficient! I'm taking my baby and going to live away from you! Then I'll write a book about how abusive you were and how you could never satisfy me! Then the world will know of your shames!" Neuro grabbed the baby out of the pot and tossed it in a cat cage, locking the door._

"_Fine! I'll just steal other people's babies and eat them! Turn them into apple pies!" Yako fussed._

Neuro looked at Yako. "You disgust me."

"You just had some dark fantasy about me didn't you?" Yako sighed. "An earlier you were telling me to pay attention to class."

"Breastfeeding has many benefits to both the parent and the baby, reducing the risk of arthritis, diarrhea, and so on. It's all in these brochures," the teacher went.

"Thank goodness," Neuro said. "Now I no longer will have to wait two hours before using our bathroom."

"They meant diarrhea for the baby," Yako corrected.

"I also would recommend breastfeeding over giving the baby formula or artificial milk as then the baby is at higher risk for many things and your medical bills will increase due to the baby not having the bodily protection that breast milk offers," the teacher continued.

"I see…" Neuro said. "Yako, you're going to breastfeed the baby even if I have to force you to! I'm not paying extra fees for medical bills you could have prevented."

"Oh yeah, forget the baby's well being, it's all about the bills…" Yako sarcastically remarked.

Class ended with the teacher handing each couple a book about breastfeeding. Neuro began to flip through it as they walked back to the office. "I see you're really into that book," Yako proudly said. "Wait…are there pictures of women in there showing their breasts off?!"

"Don't worry. Your flesh is the only skin I'll seek for carnal satisfaction," Neuro said.

"That really does not sound…romantic…."

"Hmm….it says here men can release milk from their nipples as well," the demon said.

"What? Now I know you're lying," Yako said, grabbing the book and reading the paragraph Neuro pointed out. "Impossible….it is true!"

"Got milk?" Neuro asked, swinging a bottle of milk around.

"I'm not drinking your nipple milk!" Yako fussed. Neuro tossed the can into the garbage, it was empty anyway.

"I guess all humans share qualities of the basic monkey and cow," Neuro said. "Maybe it would be best if our child was born as a bird."

"When a woman makes milk it's a beautiful thing, when men do it…well…that's gross," Yako said. "I bet you can't wait to see me breastfeed."

"I'm not as lustful as you humans," he replied. "But I am certain it will be a marvelous thing to witness."

"I'm counting on you Neuro. I know this baby will bring out the sweet side of you. I just have to be patient."

"So, you always liked me then?"

"Well….I never disliked you. Heh heh…."

"I see. You humans fall in love with any magical creature that comes before you don't you?"

"Okay, now I'm starting to think you're just discriminating against humans!"

Author: Oi….when did this fanfic get so educational? If you're learning stuff from this you better start paying me you lucky readers…


	11. Chapter 11: Writer's Block

This Chapter is Just a Big Joke Huh?

Full of references and humor that will fail to amuse you. I would not blame you for stoning me as I walked down the streets of _Insert City That You Live In Here_.

"Look here Neuro," Yako said as she read the newspaper on the park bench. "Four kids were punished in America for writing in Death Notes."

"Death Note? What is that?" Neuro asked, reading the article quickly over her shoulder.

"It's based off an anime about some guy who finds a magical notebook that can kill people by writing their names and description of death," Yako explained. "I swear, these kids are so stupid, they make their own copy but then write real people's names and vivid ways for them to die."

"Truly pathetic," Neuro commented.

"I'm surprised you don't have something like that," Yako said. "You looked like you would just to tease me."

"A notebook is barbaric. I use Microsoft Word as my Death Note. Your name is written numerous times," Neuro grinned.

"I knew it! There just had to be some way that involved me and my eventual death!"

"Maybe my teasing is just my way of expressing my affection for you," Neuro calmly said. "We demons are creative in our expressions."

"I know you're making this up," Yako said.

"Well, maybe the Microsoft Word stuff," Neuro grinned.

"Stop being so charming when I least expect it. And I know you can express your affection in a better manner. Like….taking me out to dinner?"

"Maybe Death Word and Death Powerpoint are good ideas for marketing…" Neuro muttered to himself. "Oh, dinner? Yes, we can have microwaveable pizzas!"

"What are you, a college student? Oh, let's go see Narnia! I loved the first one!"

"Yako, if you put too many references into our conversations, our readers will leave us."

"You're right. We need pure comedy born from the heart! Make a fat joke about me."

"It's so much easier to twist your neck," Neuro replied, removing his glove.

"Narnia was amusing," a voice said. Neuro and Yako turned to see the last person they expected.

"It's Sai! Protect me and my baby!" Yako screamed.

"You have a baby?" Sai excitedly asked. "Where is it? Did Neuro eat it?"

"I'm neither a hamster nor a Yako," he countered. "Yako is pregnant with my spawn."

"What a grim way of putting it…" Sai said. "Well, I'm not here to kill you. I just came from seeing Narnia. It was better than the first."

"You watch…movies?" Yako nervously asked.

"Why wouldn't I? I don't have to be off killing people every single day. Besides, I'm bored with Neuro now. Since he is becoming more human he is useless to me. His cells would just look like everyone else's." Sai explained. "But your baby would be different. A cross between a human and puzzle eater is what I want to see. When he's grown up I'll probably kill him."

"Please…don't say such horrible things so casually," Yako whined. "My baby is already ambushed with enemies before even being born…"

"So…I'm assuming I wouldn't be invited to the wedding…." Sai said.

"Depends," Neuro said.

"Depends? On what Neuro?! He tried to kill you!!" Yako shouted, pulling a ten ton hammer out of the garbage. She was prepared to defend her baby no matter what, even if it meant pulling mysterious weapons out of mysterious places.

"What are you proposing Neuro?" Sai curiously asked.

"I'm proposing…..THE READERS DECIDE!!" Neuro happily declared.

"Wait…what?" Yako asked.

"That's right! The readers get to decide!" Neuro said as he walked down the sidewalk with a mic and white suit.

"Where did you get that white suit Neuro?! And that mic?! Where do you get these things?!" Yako fussed, shocked by the sudden transformation of her fiancé.

"You see," Neuro started. "Our author is too confused on whether or not to treat Sai differently and less of a threat for comedic purposes. He's also too lazy to think for him/herself so using the little neurons in his pea-sized brain, he has decided to let you readers decide."

Author: Oh indeed. That way if no one likes what happens it's the readers own goddamn fault. (Smile!)

Neuro: Yes, the own goddamn readers' faults!

Yako: Stop putting less effort into your fanfic! Type normally!

"Okay," the author cowardly resigned. "I will type normally."

"Here's how it works! Just put in your review whether or not you want Sai to be in the wedding or even involved in this fanfic at all!" Neuro explained.

"So our fate is in the hand of these freak readers?! These perverts who want the author to hurry up and make a sex scene so they can leave us and never read again?!" Yako asked.

"Hey, you can't talk about my readers that way!" Author angrily responded. "Though it must be true about one of them…."

"This is just some scheme to get more reviews," Yako said.

"Not at first…." Author replied. "But sure, why not!"

"Please…" Sai said with his bright eyes, clapping his hands together as he looked into the eyes of the reader, quivering his lip in cute pity. "Let me be a comedic figure in your fanfic. I would ever so much love to be in it. I could have an affair with Yako even. Please let me stay."

"Don't decide storyline on your own…" Yako said.

"I love gravy biscuits!!"

"Wait…who said that? Who said they loved gravy biscuits?" Yako asked.

"I don't know….the author didn't type who said it, he just left the statement alone," Neuro said.

"I forgot…" Author miserably answered.

"Dear God! Maybe it was one of us!" Sai said. "Someone here likes gravy biscuits!"

Reader: No offense Author but this chapter was stupid. You really sucked. Your quality has dropped from ever since you made Yako really pregnant in the story. I'm about ready to drop this fanfic. And why have the readers decide? Are you some kind of noob? I hate interactive fanfics. Forget this….I'm going away. And yes I will read more of your story simply to complain about it. Just like Naruto.

Author: If you hate Naruto so much stop reading and watching it!!

Reader: No way!! I have to know what happens!!

Author: You readers make no sense!! You goddamn readers!!(Sorry for the wasteful chapter. As said in the introduction, you may stone me. Wait! I haven't even identified myself so you know who to stone! When you're walking through the city, you will notice a tall man wearing clothes. This is me. Hit that guy with stones. I also have hair. So remember: hair, tall, man, and clothes. Use these signs to track me down and stone me good. Then I'll have to make a chapter with actual storyline!

Yako: We've broken the fourth wall so many times….it's over. My baby will never be born….


	12. Chapter 12

Names

"So…you want to come the wedding?" Yako asked. "What has this fanfic become? Insulting fans and constantly acting out of character…."

"I just assumed there was one," Sai said. "Besides, I have no interest in Neuro anymore."

"No interest? Is it because he's turning human?" Yako asked. Sai nodded peacefully.

"But I'm more curious about that baby in your stomach," Sai pointed, poking her belly without question. "It's a cross between a demon and a human right? That should be worth tearing apart and looking into."

"Please don't make such horrible threats with a calm voice…" Yako moaned.

"I'll wait until it grows up and then I'll kill it," Sai said in a cutesy voice, rubbing Yako's stomach. She turned to Neuro and grinned.

"I don't even have to ask this psychopath to rub my belly, he goes and ahead and does it," she said.

"Maybe I should start making red boxes then?" Neuro countered, outwitting Yako once again.

"If I'm coming to the wedding…can I come to the baby shower too?" Sai excitedly asked. "I'll bring a present."

"Why do you care? Oh well…I guess this fanfic needs some more characters involved…I mean we already have Sasazuka and Godai…" Yako resigned. "You can come then."

"Thank you, I'm actually looking forward to the shower," Sai grinned.

"You better not kill anyone when you get there!" Yako fussed. "Oh god Neuro….I can already imagined the hand-held red boxes he must have for babies….maybe this wasn't a good idea…"

"It would seem that way but would a crippled dog fight the lion that crippled it?" Neuro asked, walking ahead of her. Yako understood, she needed to have a bit more confidence in Neuro. He wasn't the kind of person who would put her in danger. Naturally to say or think that Yako had to repress the flashbacks of torture and maniacal games Neuro forced her into.

The two continued on their way back to the office to end the day, walking past the movie theater Sai just came out of. An idea sparked in Yako's head.

"You know Neuro, as future parents we're going to have to think of how we want to raise our child," Yako said.

"Well you threw away my book on fathering," Neuro replied.

"It was written by the devil!! But putting that aside, we should raise it to be a responsible and moral person," Yako said. "We should make it watch Disney movies and Shugo Chara!"

"Disney? In 2008 they will release three movies about dogs, two of them about spoiled dogs thrown into real life and learn that life isn't all fame and fun," Neuro said. "That doesn't sound like the proper way to raise our child."

"I have to admit…Disney is getting pretty low in quality. They just seem to make a sequel about anything…" Yako muttered. "And their food is so expensive at Disney World."

"If it weren't for Pirates of the Caribbean I would lose my faith in such a corporation," Neuro stated. "And they ruined Pixar. I'm not looking forward to Wall-E or Up."

"Yeah…you said it Neuro. I just hope they don't ruin Toy Story 3," Yako said. "I really liked the first two. Wait a minute!! Don't change the subject!! What about our baby?"

"Perhaps a name first?" Neuro asked.

"You're right. This is probably the most crucial moment," Yako said. "You ever get the feeling that people sort of match their own names…you know, personality wise."

"Explain. I don't have that human quality to pick up on such trivial feelings," Neuro said.

"Ok…it's like…you will never find a mad scientist named Bobby," Yako said.

"Then again you would never find a mad scientist…" Neuro said. "Excluding HAL…"

"Fine. How about a president named Holland or Konata? Too strange and unfitting right?" Yako asked, hoping she proved her point.

"I see, so you want our baby to have the name of a champion?" Neuro asked.

"No…not really. Just a good sounding name," Yako happily said. She kept her hand along her stomach as they walked, already picturing the baby in her arms. "I think what some parents do is…expect too much from their child. I just want a baby who will grow up into a good person and do what they want with life, assuming it's not too weird." Looking at Neuro, she would probably prefer if the baby didn't end up like him either.

"What about its gender?" Neuro asked.

"You take care of the boy names, I'll think up girl names and we'll see which ones I like," Yako said. "Whoops! I mean names WE would like."

"Your domination in this issue seems outstanding," Neuro said. "Why don't we name it after our favorite criminal?"

"No…then it would either be that weird chef guy, Sai or….Aya…" Yako muttered.

"What's the matter?"

"Aya…to tell you the truth…that sounds like a good name for a girl," Yako excitedly said. "It's such a beautiful name too."

"So you took my name-the-baby-after-a-murderer idea seriously…" Neuro smirked.

"Well…I don't care. It's a lovely name and for now that's what I choose. What about you?" Yako asked.

"Perhaps Kira since you said a name shapes how someone will develop."

"That doesn't mean name them something like that! It's like naming a child The Joker or High School Detective! They're bound to not be one simply because you named them that and the other children pick on the," Yako explained. "Please think of a real, potential name for a boy."

"So be it, Kaito," Neuro said.

"Kaito? That doesn't sound too bad at all," Yako said. "Any others?"

"We could pick an English name and really confuse people," Neuro said.

"I don't think so. Kaito for a boy and Aya for a girl are perfect for now," Yako contentedly said. "Let's celebrate with food!"

"Let's celebrate with sexual intercourse!"

"I don't think so. You don't get that until you start being romantic and sincere with me," Yako grunted. "For now, you can get a kiss if you'd like."

"For a woman who is pregnant with a demon's baby you sure are resistant. Is it because I don't smell like ham and other finely-sliced meats?"

"It wouldn't be totally bad if you smelled liked pastries and breakfast meats," Yako hinted. "It'd show me that you at least know what I like."

**Yako's Perverted Fantasy:**

"_Neuro! I'm back home! Where are you?" Yako called out, taking her shoes off before stepping any further into the office. She noticed the dim office room and light emitting from the bedroom._

"_I'm in the bedroom," he said. "And I want to show you something."_

"_Oh boy! Is tonight the night he finally embraces me?!" Yako squealed. "Makes me feel like a real woman! I'm coming!" She began to loosen her clothes and ran into the room. _

"_Oh my god! Candle lights and….Neuro!! How did you?!"_

"_Cover my body entirely in meats, expensive desserts, whipped cream, and pancakes? It took all day to make this feast for you," Neuro seductively grinned. "Maybe if you chew your way through all this food you can find something better underneath."_

"_Hell yes!!" Yako lustfully snorted. She ripped off her clothes and swam into the pile of food until she was able to wrap her arms around Neuro._

"_I also have ramen microwaving, pizza cooking in the oven, a turkey thawing, and scrambled eggs sizzling, and bread toasting," Neuro grinned. Yako turned to see it. Everything was right next to the bed! The oven, the microwave, everything!_

"_Eat up Yako! Feed our baby and yourself. The real dessert will wait for you."_

"_This night is perfect!" Yako warmly said. "I can't wait to eat all this!! Thank you Neuro! I'm going to begin right now! Oh Look! A sausage!"_

"_That's not a sausa-"_

"I shall swim in pig slop and organs for you to get that nice, putrid smell you adore so much," Neuro innocently said, pointing a finger into the air.

"Stop ruining my fantasies!!"

Yako: So…that's the first perverted fantasy huh?

Author: Oh indeed.

Yako: Yeah…well…no. I don't have a food fetish.

Neuro: Well, I guess my efforts were for naught.

Yako: Wait! You were actually going to do that?!

Neuro: Depends. Do you want me to?

Yako: Um…well….if it isn't too much trouble…

Author: Oh my God I knew it!!


	13. Chapter 13

Godai-sensei: Romance Professor

"Now that names are decided, we must purchase the cage for our baby!" Neuro happily declared.

"Please don't start the chapter with such horrible sentences," Yako sighed. "Besides, we still need to bond before then. Get to know what each of us like and what we want to do."

"I heard there is a great love hotel down the street," Neuro pointed, unfolding a large map out of his vest.

"Love hotel? I don't think so," Yako rejected. "These legs of mine aren't some door and you sure enough don't have a key for it."

"A dumpster then?" he asked.

"It's not about taste, though I still don't approve of a dumpster. Come on, it's time we get to the romance," Yako whined. "All that warm, sentimental bonding and attachment. Do you demons even have that?"

"I see, so be it," Neuro said, clapping the map shut. "You're right. I've been too focused on the baby. It's about time we start the romance."

"You weren't thinking of the baby at all! You were looking for directions to a love hotel!" Yako fussed. "But, if you promise to be a gentleman on the date…we'll see how far you can go. Wait! No! I'm not giving you an opening! Wait…that came out wrong. I'm not weakening to your will! Eww….that kind of sounds perverted too…look what you did!! My mind is warped beyond comprehension!"

"Maybe humans are naturally perverted and lustful," Neuro suggested. "I swear to take you out on a pleasant night tomorrow evening. In fact, it will be to die for."

"Thank you Neu….wait….to die for? I swear…putting that aside, how about walking me home?" Yako smiled. Neuro didn't answer; he simply walked beside her and smiled. This would do for now, Yako was too excited over the possibility of an actual romantic date with the demon next to her.

She could only wonder where he was going to take her. Hopefully he learned enough about the human world to know where to take her and how to act. Standing in front of her house, the two of them looked at each other.

"See you tomorrow," Yako said. "Oh, what time are you picking me up?"

"How about 2?" he asked. "Then we could go see the Devil's Birth play down in Hell Sector 6."

"No going to Hell," Yako said. "Sorry, but that's not my idea of romance."

"Picky aren't we? I'll go pick some places then," he grinned, almost maniacally. Yako was beginning to get scared.

"I just need to believe in him is all…" she muttered. "But…why am I shaking in fear? I'm too young and innocent to go to Hell…"

"I don't know a single place or activity humans like to do on dates," Neuro muttered to himself as he walked down the street. He then saw Godai coming towards him.

"Ah, slave!" Neuro called innocently.

"What the hell you want bitch?"

"Now that's no way to greet the one that can turn you inside out," Neuro playfully said. "The missus and I are going on a date tomorrow. You need to help."

"Help how?"

"Suggest places to go," Neuro said.

"What the hell?! I aint no date assistant!!"

"But you are odd jobs man just like Gintama," Neuro said. "Now suggest or Yako shall enjoy eating your thighs for our dinner tomorrow."

"Fine! Fine! Get that fork out of my nose!" Godai fussed. "Okay, okay. Let's see….Yako's a stinking pig so take her to a buffet."

"Did I tell you to tell me the obvious? I need specific places shit brain," Neuro remarked.

"Hey! Don't' call me that crap so casually! Fine, find a fancy restaurant, I know she'll like that," Godai advised. "Something high class."

"Like something you could never afford? What would that be, the dollar menu from McDonald's?" Neuro asked.

"Damnit stop!!" Godai screamed. "Anyways…before you even think of doing that…you gotta have some fun with her like some kind of activity. Yeah, start the date with something fun and exciting."

"I was going to take her to Hell but she didn't approve of that. What do you humans do for fun up here?" Neuro asked.

"You were seriously going to take a girl to Hell for a romantic date? Well…when I was a teenager…heh heh," Godai grinned, his cheeks burning in the sweet memories. "I took a girl ice skating once. We went to the movies and danced at a club."

"Stop telling me about your days as a hairless, horny monkey. A club, movies, and ice skating huh?" Neuro muttered. "Well, the ice has barely hardened but I suppose the other ideas sound fine."

"Hey, could I come along when you go to the club? I can't wait to see you dance!" Godai chuckled.

"I'm not bringing you simply so you have a reason to wear your five dollar shirt," Neuro remarked, turning around and leaving him behind.

"Heh. People don't know I'm a romantic," Godai smiled. "There should be a fanfic with me and Yako together."

"That's sick," Neuro said.

"Don't come back just to insult people!!"

"Ah, Sai, what are you doing here?" Neuro asked.

"Just shopping at this antique store," Sai explained, looking at the various vases. "Nothing here is valuable. That vase over there has a dead bird inside."

"I better grab it so my slaves have something to eat tonight," Neuro said. "Have you ever been on a date Sai?"

"That's a little out of character for you," Sai said. "I mean, the fans might not like that. It makes you seem slightly inadequate and ignorant, completely opposite of your normal character."

"It seems anything this fanfic does leads to violent reviews threatening to gouge our eyes out," Neuro said. "I'm not kidding either. Check the reviews. Someone threaten to gouge our eyes out and stuff them down our throat. They even misspelled gouge."

"Why would anyone get so excited over a crappy fanfic like this?" Sai asked. "But as for your question, I have been on a date."

"With who?"

"I'm not telling. Let the fans guess. But I assume you need advice on human traditions for dating right?" Sai asked, looking inside an emerald jar. "I would recommend something no cliché. No ice skating or movies. Here, follow me. I'll show you all the great places to go."

"I see, so we're going to end the chapter here? Letting the poor readers anticipate what will happen next chapter?" Neuro asked.

"Indeed, that's how it works," Sai smiled.


	14. Chapter 14

Date Night

"You need a place that really speaks to both of you, if you can find a place that both of you can connect and enjoy, the date will be perfect," Sai advised, buying a newspaper from a stand. He flipped it open, looking curiously at the travel section. "No!"

"What seems to be the problem?" Neuro asked, leaning over to scan the paper.

"They banned feeding pigeons in St. Mark's Square in Venice!! I feed pigeons there all the time! Why would they do that?!" Sai whined. "I loved those pigeons."

"Why does this fanfic blend realistic information with fiction? Some fans will be confused on what's real and what's fiction," Neuro stated.

"Back to the date information," Sai said, angrily tossing the paper into the trash can. "What do you like to do besides torture people?"

"There are other activities?" Neuro innocently asked. "Putting it that way…I enjoying dancing."

"Really?! That's pretty shocking Neuro…" Sai said in awe.

"I've mastered numerous dance styles in Hell and easily conquered the ones the humans have invented."

"Well, Yako's young…I guess she might like going to clubs and stuff," Sai said.

"Do you?"

"Not really, all the pushing and shoving and tight spaces…it's nothing like music videos portray," Sai moaned. "I have to stay home and dance with my assistant and she doesn't do it good at all."

"How unnecessarily revealing…" Neuro muttered. "Despite your unpleasant flashbacks into what is surely mind scarring memories, I have already come up with several ideas for date ideas. You've been helpful. Much more than Godai who proclaims himself as a romantic."

"I'm quite the romantic myself," Sai said. "I just wished people would put me in there romance fanfics."

"There is one fanfic, I believe it's called Maddening Attraction. It's detailed in intimacy and shows much potential," Neuro advertised, recommending to the readers that they go check that particular fanfic out if they were interested in some good Yako x Sai loving.

"That's good to hear. See ya then," Sai waved, walking down the street. "Oh, almost forgot! I'm moving again tomorrow, I better get some boxes. Whoops, no money on me. I better make them myself."

Neuro walked down the street, ignoring the blood curled screams behind him from Sai's rampage. The date was quickly laying itself out for him and Yako. He pulled out his cell phone and called her.

"Hmm? Neuro's calling me? He usually pops out of nowhere and scares the crap out of me," Yako said, brushing her hair in front of her mirror. She picked up the phone and pushed it to her face with her shoulder. "Hi Neuro."

"Yako, prepare a lovely gown or dress for tomorrow," Neuro informed.

"What?! Where are you taking me?"

"I've planned the wedding already ,we'll get married tomorrow."

"What?! Are you serious?!"

"No. Just prepare a dress but wear casual clothing," Neuro instructed.

"Okay…you better not be planning something bad."

"I guess the date's ruined then…"

"Hey! You better stop messing around, this is going to be my first date Neuro. I want it to be special," Yako calmly said. "Especially if it's going to be with you."

"Yes, I understand what you mean. I shall get a cash loan in order to pay for tomorrow's meals. Maybe a mortgage on the office. It's all for your sake."

"Don't make me feel bad about it," Yako smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow okay?"

"Yes, good night," he said, clapping the phone shut.

The next day came quickly, Yako made sure not to meet Neuro until the evening when he would pick her up and take her out. She kept a nice black dress ready in her closet as Neuro advised. She could nearly squeal with excitement as the time for Neuro to pick her up drew closer.

Knock. Knock.

Yako sighed and walked to her window. "You look unusually attractive tonight," Neuro said, handing Yako a bouquet of sausages.

"No, do it properly at least," Yako said. "You can't come in through the window like some burglar. You'll scare people. Do it at the door."

Neuro leapt down from the window and knocked on the door.

"Hello," Mrs. Katsuragi greeted. "Oh Neuro."

"Good evening Mrs. Katsuragi, I've come to pick up your daughter who I have impregnated. We are trying our best to resemble a normal relationship."

"Good, good."

"Here I am Neuro!" Yako excitedly said. "Oh, is that bouquet of sausage for me? Thank you so much!"

"You look unusually attractive tonight," Neuro grinned, taking her hand gently as the two walked off the porch. The date had begun.

"Where are you taking me first?" Yako asked.

"The movies," Neuro said. "This will be a learning experience for us both."

"Okay Neuro," Yako said. "What kind of movie do you want to see?"

"These horror movies are nothing compared to my childhood. They aren't the least bit terrifying or mind crushingly saddening…"

"Oh…was your childhood life bad Neuro? I'm here to comfort you," Yako said.

"No, it was great. I loved torturing people and ruining their lives," Neuro grinned.

"Oh…so you're the person whose name appears in therapy for these poor victims…well anyway, you should try something different. How about…a comedy?" Yako asked, pointing to the Death Note movie.

"Yes, the actors look nothing like the actual characters from the anime, so it is actually more like a parody of the original anime," Neuro said, paying for the tickets.

"I can't wait to see how the actor portrays L," Yako excitedly said as they walked into the theater. "This will be our first time watching anything for entertainment together. Oh, we better order some food first."

"We would like anything fattening," Neuro said. "Covered in whatever makes it more fattening with a cup of grease for my lady tonight."

"We don't serve fattening toppings on top of already fattening foods sir," the pimply teenager replied. "But we do have a special on cups full of grease."

"I'll just take a normal large bag of popcorn and tow large sodas," Yako said, making sure this night would end up normally. The two left the lobby and found their seats.

"So, are you excited?" Yako asked.

"About the date?" Neuro asked. "Of course. Maybe if I feed you enough you'll pass out and I can take advantage of you."

"No way!"

"That should scare you from eating everything tonight. My wallet has some hope it would seem," Neuro smiled. The room then turned dark as the screen lit with the movie. "Hmm…I sense a puzzle near by."

Yako looked at him worriedly, she knew he couldn't resist. He glanced at Yako and smiled. "But there's plenty of murders happening every day. I can put this one on hold for another time," he said.


	15. Chapter 15

Dating Demons for Complete Idiots

Yako looked at Neuro as the previews rolled; wondering what was going on in his mind. She ordered two large sodas but this was only part of her master strategy. She read about how nervous men could be on their first date in books so she had to give Neuro an opportunity instead of expecting one from him. "Maybe if I drink all my soda he will share his with me! Brilliant! I better drink all mine right now!" She began to suck away, taking down the liter and a half bottle with enthusiasm. She could see a guy in glasses watching her suck on the straw violently, for some reason he was blushing.

"Wow! Would you look at that! All my soda is gone!" Yako said, pretending to be surprised. Neuro glanced at the drained bottle. "Here's some money, you can go buy yourself another one," he said, almost as if he was tired.

"But…um….the movie might start any minute. We could just share yours," Yako said.

"You would just vacuum all my soda away," Neuro said. "While you're up you make sure to tell me what future movies they have coming out on the posters."

"I can't believe this," Yako grunted, taking the money away as she rose from her seat. Neuro chuckled, pulling her back down to her seat.

"I was teasing you," he said. "If you want my soda then just ask directly r else you don't deserve it." He then handed her the bottle, amazingly oblivious to what Yako really wanted.

"I….wanted to share it…not drink it all," Yako muttered in disappointment. "Oh well, I have to think of a better plan for now. He isn't use to the dating game of us humans. I could pull off tricks from the 1900s and he wouldn't be able to notice!"

"Let's see…I could…pretend to trip and land on his lap! That's a good turn on! Or…pretend to be sleepy and rest my head on his shoulder. I could pretend to not pay attention and put my hand on top of his! Wait, I have a better idea! I could kill someone then try to hide the horrible deed by dumping the body in the office dumpster! Then the family would have to hire us to solve the case, he'll find out it was me and when he turns to eat my puzzle I can grab his face and move in for a kiss! YES! MURDER FOR A KISS!!" Yako excitedly yelled in her head. "Wait….I need to calm down. A pregnant mother can't go to jail."

"You must be thinking dirty thoughts," Neuro said, watching Yako's expression constantly change. "Either that or you have to use the bathroom."

"I'm just excited is all," Yako said in embarrassment. "You know, if you're thirsty…you could drink from the soda you gave me. We could share it."

"I am a little thirsty," Neuro innocently said, grabbing Yako's straw.

"Alright! Here it comes! He'll have my germs on him! He'll be mine!" she squealed.

Much to her chagrin, he pulled out an extra straw from his jacket and pulled out the one she used. "Wha? Why aren't you drinking from my straw?" she asked. "We've done worst things than share a straw!"

"Because your secret plan to share a soda is ridiculous," Neuro grinned. "What are you doing? Using dating tricks from the 1900s?"

"Well….what do you expect me to do? I'm trying to be romantic but it's the man's job to do that in the first place!" Yako said. "Show some livelihood! Show me some sweetness!"

"The last time I did that you got pregnant," Neuro grinned. "But, if you want me to start then I shall."

Neuro then raised his arm into the arm while yawning. "Oh my god…" Yako said. "Is he going to do the old, wrap-his-arm-around-my-shoulder routine?"

He placed his hand on her hip instead, surprising her. "What the? What are you doing?" Yako asked. Neuro turned to her and grinned maniacally. "I'm going to throw you!!" he laughed.

"Wait! No!" She hollered as he lifted her into the air. Suddenly she felt herself coming down. "Just kidding," he said, placing her bottom on his lap as he stretched out his legs over the seat below. Yako found her waist in his hand and her arms around his neck; she grew red from the close contact.

"Better?" he asked with a smile. Yako nodded peacefully, rubbing her cheeks against his. "I see you ate all your popcorn already. Time to replace it. 777 Tools!! Evil Popcorn."

Suddenly a skull rose out of the seat, its head filled with purple and green kernels. Neuro began to grab some, eating away at the strangely colored food. Yako peeked over, wondering if she should try some. Neuro caught her glance and grabbed a small handful, popping it into her mouth.

"How do you enjoy the poison kernels from Hell?" he asked. "They were made from freshly juiced babies."

"What?! How could you-"

"I'm joking," he chuckled, surprising Yako with the sudden outburst of enjoyment.

"You know, this all started with me wanting to hear you laugh normally," she said. "I didn't know I would discover I was pregnant."

"Yes and who knows if you would haven't gotten fat between then? You probably would be unable to tell you were pregnant until you felt an egg pop out," Neuro said.

"Well, I'm glad we found out sooner," Yako smiled. "Gives us a chance to date and know each other better. And for you to scare the crap out of me."

The movie then started. Together, they watched the Death Note anime come to life in a live action portrayal. Neuro and Yako would whisper smart ass remarks into each others ear.

"If our baby looks like L, kill it," Neuro said.

"Yeah ,we can't have two pigs living under one roof," Yako whispered back.

"This mystery would be solved in a day if I was in charge."

"You know Kira and L are one of the most popular yaoi couples on the internet, right?"

Leaving the theater, the two talked about the movie they just saw. Yako was amazed at how interested they were in talking to each other.

"Those people are just beyond comparison," Yako said. "It seems so easy to come up with their solutions and tricks but when you sit down and think about it…it's hard."

"They are impressive for humans. You would have died instantly against Kira," Neuro said.

"Hey, the only reason you beat the super criminals like HAL and Sai is because you're a demon."

"That may be true but isn't the only reason you're alive today is because I'm a demon?"

"That's because you make do those cases! But putting that aside, that was really fun in there," Yako happily said. "I'm surprised you actually acted casual. I'm having a great time so far."

"Well," Neuro said, holding the door for Yako. "You'll have a better time when we go dancing."

"Dancing?! Are you serious?! You're actually going to dance with me?!" Yako asked in disbelief.

"Yes, yes I shall!" Neuro diabolically grinned, his evil laughter echoing into the night sky above.

* * *

Author: Good chapter, good chapter. I think I've returned to the more basic roots of this fanfic, more themed around their relationship instead of cracking jokes most of the time.

Author: Neuro, you seem to have a 777 Tool for every occasion and purpose.

Neuro: Indeed I do.

Author: So…why didn't you use like….Evil Condom so Yako wouldn't get pregnant?

Neuro: The answer is simple. 777 Tools! Evil Punch to the Jaw!!

Author: Auuggghhhh!!


	16. Chapter 16

Clubbin', Cuz Misspelling is Hip!

Yako walked down the street in her long, black dress, anticipating the thought of seeing Neuro dance at one of the local clubs. She knew he would find some way to let himself in but how would he dance compared to all the humans and their body grinding, break dancing, krunking, flip skilling, pip pop dip flop scan frying and pancake waffle mixers? Neuro just didn't seem like the kind of person to do such things. The two finally approached the building, implied by Neuro tugging her arm with his black suited arm around hers. Yako gazed at the towering building that blocked the sky.

"Neuro…where exactly is this?" Yako asked.

"You'll see," he grinned, turning to the door man. His maniacal grin and glare suggested to him that he should hold the door for them. Neuro and Yako walked on in, clicking the up button outside the elevator. Yako looked around, admiring the nice carpeting in the halls and lovely lights above them. The two stepped into the elevator and walked out once the doors opened.

Yako looked in shock and complete admiration at the high class room; it was bigger than all the rooms in her house! High class and wealthy men and women were scattered all over the place, drinking champagne and talking casually. "This is amazing!" Yako excitedly said.

"Surprised? I knew your pigeon brain would assume I meant some club on the streets," Neuro grinned, almost as if he win something. "This is more towards my taste and I believe yours as well." He turned her head with both hands, keeping his face near hers, directing her sight to the greatest object in the room.

"Is that….a buffet?" she asked in awe, holding back her drool. Neuro's grin stretched wider.

"No, it's buffets," he said. "With some of the most expensive and unnecessary food in the world. Multiple whales have been killed just to feed these gluttonous people who wish to dine on the meals of Gods."

"I don't care! Tonight I don't care!" Yako giddily cheered. "Can we eat first?!"

He nodded, releasing her from his grip. She immediately rushed to the table like a wild animal, grabbing some of the Panda Crackers first. Yes, crackers made from endangered panda. No dinner was complete with silverware from white rhino and large ostrich eggs.

"Cheese made from solid gold cows?!" Yako asked the chef, grabbing a few dozen squares of the esoteric cheese. Neuro grabbed a plate, curious about the rarest foods the humans had to offer. He could at least enjoy the taste.

"It would appear these napkins are made out of meteorite," Neuro said, twirling the napkin on one finger as he examined it with one eye. "And the soup is actually…what is this?"

The chef turned and smiled. "Those are the tears of the innocent."

"Ah, wonderful," Neuro cheered, grabbing a bowl. Yako couldn't help but embrace the soft texture of iced cloud. Regular ice was too low brow for these rich folks; they only enjoyed the sweet taste of frozen cloud cubes. A maid quickly ran up to Yako, assisting her with her plates to the table. Neuro followed after, sitting across from her.

"This is all so wonderful!" Yako brightly smiled. Neuro enjoyed the glow around her face and in her eyes; it was so attractive it had to be demonic. "Neuro, how did you get into a place like this?"

"I blackmailed someone," he grinned. "We are enjoying their 50th anniversary seats as we speak."

"What? You ruined someone's 50th anniversary?"

"No, it was actually a president of a computer company. He actually had connections to the mafia yet left easy evidence to track and use against him," Neuro smirked.

"That's not funny, we could have some bad people coming after us," Yako whispered.

"It's only a seat at a gathering," Neuro said. "Besides, I have him under control."

"Well, this place is great anyway. I'm really glad you brought me here. So no more talk about mafias or criminals or mysteries, tonight we can just enjoy ourselves with food and dancing!" Yako cheered, already digging into her dinosaur sandwich, made from squashed raptor.

"Oh my goodness," a black haired man squealed, walking up to their table as Yako wolfed down on Dragon ribs. "You're that piggy high school detective; it's so nice to meet you!"

"Yeah…that's me," Yako shyly said, embarrassed by her gluttonous reputation.

"Well, I hope you enjoy your time here. I didn't even know you were invited," he said, walking away.

"Your stomach precedes you, you virus," Neuro smirked, resting his cheek on his hand. Yako didn't respond, simply eating away.

"Oh, I'm sorry Neuro," Yako said. "I'm just eating like a complete warthog. A date is about both people having fun. Come on, it looks like everybody is getting on the dance floor."

Neuro rose from his seat and took her gently by her hand, being a gentleman for once. Walking onto the dance floor, he placed one hand in hers and another on his hip. "So this is the dancing you meant," Yako smiled. "Classical and slow."

"I could go much faster but it would tear a hole in the floor," Neuro said, smiling as Yako followed his lead. She was unexpectedly a good dancer as well and moved almost gently in her high heels. Neuro was actually impressed or surprised; he didn't know which to choose.

Yako could feel the warm emitting even from under his suit and rested her head on his chest. Neuro could feel her small body against his as they moved along. He knew he was right in picking this place. Closing her eyes, Yako gripped tightly onto Neuro's hand, catching the scent of cologne. He obviously picked up on her advice to not smell like the charcoal of Hell. Neuro's hand slowly moved from her waist to her back, pulling her closer. "This is something new," he thought to himself, bewildered. "I feel warm but not hot. Almost…sweetly warm."

The dance became so intimate that they never noticed the dance floor was made up completely of diamonds. "This is so romantic," Yako pleasantly muttered, never feeling tired despite dancing for an hour. Neuro had lost all track of time as well, he had to admit, this trivial movement was one of most appealing things in his life. "Yes, it must be romance," he said. "I don't feel like throwing you into something."

"Really funny," she chuckled. "But you surprised me with all of this. I didn't really know what to expect from you tonight. This, right now, shows me that you really do care."

"And the neck snapping didn't make it obvious?"

"Oh quiet," she said, patting his chest. She could almost fall asleep on his chest. In fact, that's what she did. Neuro could feel her slip away into sleepiness and grinned. "I won't take advantage of you tonight," he muttered, picking her up and holding her in her arms. He looked at her stack of food on their table, wondering if there was a doggy bag for them but decided to just take her home. They spent enough time here.

Yako awoke to the chirping of birds. She noticed she was still in her dress from the night before. "He must have brought me home," Yako smiled. "I better dress into something else." She began to take her dress off, walking around in nothing but a bra and her panties. Suddenly a drop of liquids fell from the roof and onto the ground. Yako leapt back as the liquid burnt through the ground. She looked up to see Neuro wiping his mouth. He was sleeping on her roof!

"Neuro! What the?! I'm dressing!" she fussed, covering herself with a blanket.

"Dressing?" he muttered, waking up from his slumber. "So you're horny this early in the morning? Changing into something more sensual?"

"Get out!" she fussed. The demon crept down from the roof and began to step out of the window. Before he leapt away he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Yako blushing and smiling like a fox.

"I almost forgot, thanks for last night," she said. "I had a wonderful time."

"Maybe I should stay in case you want to turn that baby in your belly into twins," he grinned.

"Get out!!"


	17. Chapter 17

Surprise Visit + Jokes!

"Why is this fanfic still titled Yako's Joke? The joke is over! It ended in Chapter 3! She's really pregnant! There is no joke! This fanfic isn't even funny! You call these jokes?! The only joke is that this fanfic is actually receiving positive reviews!"

"Gasp! You're right! I have dishonored my family by writing such parody! I shall amputate myself from them so they can save themselves from my indignant existence…so long world. This fanfic ends now."

"What?! This is the final chapter?"

"No, that was a joke."

Neuro typed away at his computer, no mysteries today, all he could do was edit the website a bit and add more features. A "Games" section would surely attract the children. Every few seconds he would look past his computer, noticing Yako gazing at him. He returned to typing. He looked again. She was still staring. "Is she stalking me with her eyes?" he wondered. The puzzle eater returned to his work.

Suddenly his cell phone began to vibrate along the desk. He picked it up and flipped it open. It was a message from Yako. It read: "Hi." Neuro shut the phone and placed it back on the table.

"Hey Neuro," she sweetly said. "Want to do something today?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Maybe go to the beach, get my belly nice and tanned. Make the author describe my bikini and how my breasts cup so perfectly into my outfit in vivid detail. You know, give the fans some fanservice," Yako suggested.

"A beach chapter? No, we're not Kyoto Animation," Neuro said. "We need original material."

"How about…we go to an anime convention? I heard there some people who do pretty bad jobs dressing up like us," Yako said.

"You better be careful with your words, some of them could be reading this," Neuro warned.

"I really had fun last night though," Yako said. "I never thought you could be so sweet. When can we go out again? I don't care if we don't do anything."

"If you're looking for some real excitement there's some documents that need organizing in the backroom," Neuro blankly grinned, teasing the poor girl. "But I can actually share your feelings in this. Last night was surprising amusing. Perhaps, I can take you somewhere again soon."

"Don't forget Neuro, our baby class is having that exam," Yako reminded.

"Exam? Ah yes, I better study."

"You might get to become a chuunin-level daddy!" Yako smiled.

"Is that suppose to be some kind of reference to something?"

"Sorry…"

"Well, after the exam we can celebrate with dinner and…hmm…"

"We could just walk around the city," Yako said. "Stop by any places that interest us."

"That will do," Neuro grinned, gazing at Yako with a smile. She blushed at the sudden attention and began to turn away. "Like a magnet."

"So," Godai excitedly said as he burst into the office. "How was your guys' night last night?"

"Oh, you knew about the date?" Yako asked.

"Hell yeah, that demon over there asked for advice," Godai bragged.

"That's pathetic Neuro…" Yako coldly muttered. "Advice from Godai…"

"Fortunately I didn't need it," Neuro sharply said. "A little effort on my part got us somewhere beyond your imagination."

"Yeah, he's right. We ate dinosaurs and other extinct animals!" Yako happily revealed.

Suddenly the door swung open, knocking Godai over his desk in the corner. Sai walked in, greeting everyone with a wave. "Hey everyone!" Sai happily called out, his assistant Ai walking behind him. "I came to hang out!"

"Shit! It's Sai! I'll get him with a chair!" Godai grunted, grabbing one as fast as he could.

"No, no. It's alright," Yako said. "This fanfic is a comedy so even psychotic serial killers make good friends."

"Oh, I see." Godai calmly said, returning the chair to the floor. Sai made himself comfortable on the couch across from Yako.

"You look really happy today," Sai said. "Your date was good huh?"

"Even Sai knows?!" Yako fussed. "That's a little over the top."

"Slave number two, fix them some tea," Neuro ordered. Godai snorted, walking in the back room to prepare the drinks. Ai decided to see what Neuro was doing.

"A website? I used to design these myself," Ai said.

"Really?" Neuro asked. "Are you able to insert multiple drop down boxes under each other and fix the default indent and double spacing?"

"Of course, let me see this," Ai answered, bending down and typing away.

"So Sai, you just wanted to hang out?" Yako asked.

"Of course, it's not like I can kill you or anything. The death of a pregnant main character by impalement or by ripping you apart is beyond the Teen Rating this fanfic holds so it wouldn't be allowed anyway," Sai said.

"That's great!" Yako said. "So, maybe later you want to go shopping with me? I'm going to need some decoration for our bedroom so maybe you could help with your taste in art."

"Sounds fun," Sai chuckled.

"What the shit crap?! I leave for one second and you detectives and murderers are the best of friends?!" Godai fussed.

"Thanks a lot Godai! You used our only severe cuss word! We can only say the F word, the S word and the more sexual words only occasionally in a Teen Rated fanfic and you just blew it!" Yako fussed. "You always curse excessively!"

"Yeah, what if there was some upcoming drama?" Sai asked.

"It would seem you really screwed things up," Ai said, returning to the computer screen.

"Yes, you truly are a witless scum wart," Neuro sighed. "I'm afraid not all slaves can be perfect and obedient. I have to constantly beat this one to shut him up."

"That must be difficult for you," Ai sympathized. "Sai beats me, but I ask him to." She then winked at him and Sai winked back.

"So, enough with the kinky talk and breaking of the fourth wall. We'll be going shopping today huh?" Sai asked.

"Yeah, in fact we should see what we can find right now!" Yako smiled. "Neuro, Can I borrow a credit card?" The demon tossed her one out of his vest and waved her farewell as she and Sai left the office.

"This is going to be fun!" Yako said. "In the anime I hardly got a chance to interact with you. It was only towards the end."

"Yeah, that was fun," Sai said. "After we're done shopping we could stop by a new Italian place I found. It just opened."

"Great, I'm sure Neuro's credit card won't mind the extra squeeze," Yako grinned.

Yako: What's wrong Author?

Author: Oh nothing…except it would seem Demonic Times of Yako is probably the most popular fanfiction in the Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro section!! It has over 200 reviews!! How can I compete with that?! We only have about 76!!

Neuro: Avaricious aren't we?

Author: Buh?

Yako: It means to greedy. You have plenty of reviews and besides…I'm sure the number of reviews and praises and hits are no indicator of popularity….kinda…maybe…well…um…that author seems to have a lot of reviews though. Maybe I'll go read their fanfic for a while.

Sai: Wait a minute! Didn't you write Demonic Times of Yako?

Author: Um…perhaps?

Sai: And doesn't this fanfic have the 3rd most reviews in the Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro category?

Author: Maybe…

Sai: No…you're actually bragging aren't you?! You're using me to brag!! I feel so used!

Author: Who cares?! Feed me more reviews!! Make me grow bigger and succeed the Butter Knife fanfic!! Even if you have to flame me! Give me more reviews!!

Neuro: What a greedy human, it's almost like getting reviews is more important than breathing to him…


	18. Chapter 18

Is He Gentle?

Yako and Sai walked down the sidewalk looking at the various stores that caught their attention, the sight alone of those two accompanying each other was distracting enough. Sai casually enjoyed the city bare footed in his loose clothing, isolating himself visually from Yako.

"How do you walk on hot days? Don't your feet get burnt from a hot sidewalk?" Yako asked.

"Oh yeah but I can recover easily," Sai smiled. "But clothes are overrated."

"Really? Are you….a nudist?"

"Sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not," Sai answered. "Depends on if it's cold or not…sometimes. Maybe if it's too hot…even if it's warm…"

"That doesn't answer anything! I have a feeling Ai and you must do some weird stuff at your house," Yako said.

"Besides the harvesting of blood cubes?" Sai playfully asked. He then pointed to a store, attracted by the dark tones in the inventory. Walking in, Yako immediately noticed why Sai chose this place. "Look at this blood red curtain! It's amazing how well they can color their silks."

"Yes…color..." the manager nervously shook, rubbing his hands over each other as Yako felt its soft feel as well.

"It feels really soft but durable! And I'm sure Neuro will love this color. He did get that creepy desk already stained with death on it."

"What?! Death?! Ahahahaha!! No death here! That's just the color on the curtains!" The manager shrieked. "Yeah….I didn't kill anybody."

Yako looked with concern at the trembling man; she didn't feel like sending him to jail today. She just turned away and followed Sai to the bedroom section. "I'm not going to buy that curtain…" Yako sighed. "But it would be nice for the bedroom. I know Neuro would like it too."

"Oh, so you have an idea of his fashion tastes?" Sai asked.

"Well yeah…it's pretty simple after you realize he's from Hell. He loves blood red and I guess anything with a haunting tone to it," Yako explained, reviewing the man she would raise a child with.

"I thought you might have invited me because…you know…I'm not quite normal either," Sai said. "You know, use a murdered to pick out a demon's furniture."

"I invited you because we're friends now," Yako smiled, holding onto his cold hands.

"Fur….end?" Sai muttered.

"Stop acting like that," Yako fussed. "Unfortunately I'm so jaded from being with a demon and meeting murderers every week that I can see past the killings."

"That's good," Sai smiled. "Maybe if things don't work out with you and Neuro, you and I can have little baby Sais and Yakos running around, killing people and then eating them too."

"What?!"

"Oh don't worry. I have a pretty stable job and source of income. Sometimes I make little red dice instead of red boxes and sell it to casinos."

"That's…good?" Yako said, unsure of how to respond to that. "Well, anyway, which one of these beds would be perfect for Neuro and I?"

"That black one, the base has a black marble design and it's pretty wide and spacious for those more kinky nights," Sai excitedly said, crawling about the mattress. "It's like an arena for love. You could roll around for miles on this thing. Imagine what you could do on it with Neuro!"

"Hey, hey. We don't need an arena of love, just a nice king size or queen size bed," Yako said. "Oh…by the way Sai…do you mind if I ask you something…unusual?"

"Go ahead. In my work I've seen some pretty horrible things," Sai said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Do you think….Neuro is gentle?" Yako asked.

"Gentle? What do you mean gentle?"

"I know this is a Teen rated fanfic but I must know! I know he's a demon and I guess in our relationship he is the more dominating one…the seme if you will but would that mean he's….merciless and relentless…you know…during our more intimate moments?" Yako nervously asked.

"Oh!" Sai said with a smile, catching the idea. "You're wondering if he's delicate with your fragile body! Well…wouldn't you know that?"

"Yeah, we kind of only did this and that once…and we were drunk. That's why I have demon spawn swimming in my stomach now," Yako chuckled. "I don't recall all the details."

"Well, I would think he's more of a bondage guy, he might grab you roughly," Sai said.

"What? Well…I kind of expected that," Yako blushed. "But…do you think he's into…whips and chains?! And stuffing apples in my mouth like a cooked pig?!"

"Well…I don't know but we should stop before we get reported for abuse of the fanfiction policy agreement," Sai suggested. "You're going to be his wife soon right? You should just let him know what you like and don't like."

"Wow…you make it sound so simple…" Yako said. "Yeah, we need to come to an understanding. Do you think he has…kinky 777 tools?"

"Enough of this…"

* * *

"And that's why Sai isn't allowed in the zoo anymore," Ai calmly finished, drinking tea at Neuro's desk.

"Interesting," Neuro said. "Ai, I have a question for you."

"What is it?"

"Do you think Yako is…you know…gentle?" he innocently asked.

"What do you mean gentle?"

"You know…I think she might be into bondage and likes to hurt me during our more…intimate moments…" Neuro quietly muttered.

"I didn't expect this from you," Ai said. "I have no doubt she is gentle."

"I was joking…" Neuro blankly said. "But you answered it didn't you?"

"There is no such thing as awkward when your only friend is a serial killer," Ai said, taking another sip of tea. "No such thing as awkward."

"I better call Yako, make sure she isn't burning away my credit card," Neuro said. "She doesn't know I set her phone to hand mode."

"Hand mode?"

"Yes, it allows me to stick my hand through the phone and grab her. It could be interesting depending on where she keeps her phone and where I grab her," Neuro devilishly grinned.

"What kind of phone allows you to do that?" Ai curiously asked.

"My Hell Phone."

"….Was that supposed to be a pun?" Ai asked.

"….yes."

Neuro pulled out his phone and pressed speed dial.

"Eeekk!!" Yako shrieked.

"What's wrong?" Sai asked, sitting on top of a dresser.

"It felt like something grabbed my thigh!" Yako panicked. She lifted her skirt to investigate the matter but then caught Sai paying more attention to her than usual. She quickly turned around and saw Neuro's claw slowly crawling up her thigh out of her cell phone. She slapped it away and grabbed the phone from her pocket, saddened by the hole his claw made.

"Neuro! What do you want, grabbing me like this is a crowded subway?!" Yako fussed, pouting as she watched Sai slept on the mattress.

"I was simply checking on our child," Neuro smirked. "How is it?"

"Happy and hungry," Yako said. "And stop setting my phone to hand mode! I swear, I will cancel the family plan on our phone!"

"But I get two free phones with that plan," Neuro playfully whined. "Are you trying to run us into debt? We'll have to use spider webs to catch our dinner. Fish from school pools for lunch and eat the day old donuts in dumpsters."

"First of all I don't have a problem with any of that, secondly don't call me to aggravate me," Yako replied.

"I was calling to see if you were killing my credit card," Neuro said, spinning the chair towards the window.

"No, we haven't eaten yet. We're heading to an Italian restaurant after this though. Besides, I'm buying furniture for our bedroom," Yako reported. "Your credit card is going to have to suffer a little."

"I can hear my card screaming in agony. Make sure to come back to the office before sunset, I have prepared a romantic dinner."

"Really?"

"Yes, Godai is cooking it right now," Neuro said. "Ai is ordering expensive drinks from a place she knows."

"Neuro…I'm pregnant. I can't drink alcohol," Yako said. "I don't want our baby to end up mentally handicapped or worst…"

"That explains you doesn't it?" Neuro chuckled.

"Hey! Anyone, I'll see you when I get home," Yako said. "Oh…I mean the office."

"Okay Sai, let's pick out the furniture and get to that restaurant. I'll have to eat twice as much for the baby."

"Don't blame the baby for your own greed," Sai said.

* * *

Author: Hey kids!! Do you like Bleach?!

Kids: Umm….it's okay….I gue-

Author: Of course you do!! You goddamn love it!! I've just been paid trillions by the makers of Bleach to shamelessly advertise their crap toys!! This time I will show off the new Hollow Action Figure line-up!! For only 2.99 you can purchase:

A Hollow Ichigo action figure!

A Hollow Menos Grande!

A Hollow Cup!

Hollow Kitty!

A Hollow World figurine set!

Hollow-Can-You-Go Limbo sticks!

A Hollow Do-You-Do ballerina set and much, MUCH MORE USELESS TRASH AND PUNS!!

Or as Ulquirroa would put it: "Why would anyone buy this stuff….it's just trash. And I hate trash. It smells."

Disclaimer: I have not been paid by anyone nor am I advertising products that I am aware of. I do not own Bleach or MTNN.

.


	19. Chapter 19

Adding Conflict? What are you? Lelouch?!

Sai and Yako walked into the Italian restaurant struck by the sudden flow of cool air as they crossed the sidewalk and stepped on the smooth carpeting. Tooting his lips, the waiter placed a hand on his skeletal hip as his moustache seemed to dance like a seesaw. "Welcome to Italian Wonders," he rudely said. "Just so you know, we require shoes here." His eyes then slowly rolled downwards at Sai's bare feet.

"My feet are clean, see," Sai said, slamming his foot onto the counter. He wiggled his toes at the waiter who brushed the foot aside with a menu.

"That may be the case but we do not accept hermits here," the man sharply replied. Sai sighed, grabbing Yako's leg and raising it into the air.

"Pervert!" She cried out, feeling her shoe slip off her foot. Sai placed the single shoe on his foot and placed his other foot on top of the shoe.

"There," he said. "Now my feet aren't touching the ground and we both have shoes."

"Fine, come this way…"

"Sorry about that," Sai said as he pulled up his seat across from Yako, handing back her shoe as he grabbed both menus from the new waiter.

"It's okay. Maybe we should buy you some shoes after this," Yako chuckled, slipping it back on her foot. She hardly noticed the unusually pleasant gaze Sai gave her. "Oh man, everything looks delicious. I think I'll order everything."

"Yeah…let's see…." Sai muttered. "I think that maybe….I was a girl who enjoyed crackers….or maybe my original self was a man who liked soup."

"It must be hard to choose. Don't worry, you could try out every dish that I order and pick the one you like," Yako cheerfully suggested.

"You don't mind?"

"Why would I? It's not like you have some STD or disease, you can pretty much heal yourself right?" Yako asked.

"I guess so. It's a wonder with so much cell activity in my body that I don't get a tumor. I'm lucky enough that I've managed to hide this form from the public eye so I can do casual things like eat at a restaurant," Sai glumly said, looking out the windows.

"Life must be hard for you," Yako said. "Not knowing your identity."

"It's true, it's become an obsession and I can't seem to live peacefully without knowing the truth," the mutant said. "Just like Sasuke from Naruto….please Yako. Tell me I won't end up as an emo!!"

"I'm sure you won't," Yako nervously smiled. "The last thing this series needs is an emo. You know I heard emos are descendants of vampires."

"Really? I heard they were born in caves and spoke French," Sai said. "Those emos sure are mystical creatures. Like the kappa or the Japanese voice actor."

"You know…you're pretty different from the other people I've met and I've met thousands," Sai muttered, speaking with more warmth as his words went on. "I think you're the only person who is genuinely sympathetic for me."

"I'm sure that's true," Yako kindly reassured. "What about the thousands of fangirls and curious guys who look past the gory psychopath and see a sweet, misguided person who needs a hug?"

"But those people aren't real…" Sai muttered. "At least I have Ai, though she's really in it for her own goals. Sorry, I don't want to ruin lunch."

"It's okay, it's better to let these things out," Yako said.

"But…what about the fanfic?" Sai worriedly asked. "It's supposed to be a comedy despite the lack of humor and poor writing by the stupid author. We can't add…drama…"

Yako sweetly smiled, placing her soft hand atop Sai's cold one, looking into his turquoise eyes. "This is your first time letting out your feelings huh?"

"Ye-yes…" he nervously answered, looking down at his lap. "This is my first time. If…if I do this for you…will you be gentle?"

"I promise."

"You won't be rough and hurt me?"

"It'll hurt at first but it'll feel good after a while. I promise Sai," Yako replied.

"But…adding drama…it's so forbidden."

"I know…but isn't that what makes it wonderful?"

Sai looked back at her and let a soft curve slide into his lips. After a nod his story unfolded. He told Yako everything about his life up until now. The realization that he was abnormal was harmonious with the pain of isolation that came instantly after. Yako listened attentively to every word, empathizing with the sorrow he expressed and the loneliness that froze onto his chest.

"It became difficult to kill at first but…I had nothing to lose," Sai went on. Even blindness couldn't prevent anyone from seeing the care in Yako's face as she refused to turn away from his direction. "Maybe I should stop there," Sai said.

"Why? I can tell there's a lot more," Yako said. "Go on please." For some reason, he obeyed. He continued, hesitating to share the darker parts but letting them out anyway. He expected a twist of disgust in her face but she only smiled and closely remained attentive. It felt like the world was shining just for him. She really was listening.

"That's it…" Sai finished. "That's me in a nutshell."

"Does it feel good to let it all out?" Yako asked.

"Yeah, it felt better to have someone actually care too," Sai whispered to himself.

"Holy crap!! The food is here!!" Yako cried out in excitement, drooling as the trays and carts came to their table. A special team of bodybuilders had to come in and help place all the food down.

"Where do we put all of these?!" one of them asked. "There's not enough room on the table and there's already towers of plates and food on there!!"

"Just lay it around the ground," Yako said. "I'll get to it later." She then began to grab her fork and knife, stabbing the chicken worst than its farmer did. Sai watched in horror as she began to eat. She grabbed an entire turkey and dug her fingers into its chest, ripping it's entire body in half and drinking whatever sauce came out.

"Why does an Italian restaurant serve turkey?" Sai asked.

"Oh, I ordered delivery from a few other places," Yako casually said as she tossed the spoon to the side and grabbed the soup bowl. She bit off a part of the bowl and ate it while swallowing the soup at the same time as it poured out like a waterfall. At the same time Sai could see her feet making a sandwich on the plates along the floor. Yako wasn't finished, the horror wasn't nearly over.

She attached egg rolls, pizzas, pies, and cakes to the blades on the fan above her. They hung from strings and she pulled the fan's switch so it could spin at mach speed as she chomped and ate the food as it flew by. "This is it!" she demonically laughed. "My Glutton Tools! The Hungry Tornado!!"

"No…she truly is a monster," Sai trembled. "I know she offered me to take whatever I want but there is no doubt she would devour me along with it."

"Are you going to eat that?" Yako asked.

"That's my hand!"

"Just answer the question."

"No but you won't."

"I'm just kidding anyway," Yako smiled, opening a pizza box. She grabbed the entire pizza pie and rolled it into a ball. With only one bite it was gone. This girl was a vacuum!

"This…is the first time I've felt terror and fear in my life as a murderer…" Sai whispered to himself.

"Sorry I made a pig of myself. I guess this baby is really taking a lot out of me," Yako smiled.

"No problem. It's getting a little late, maybe we should go back to the office," Sai suggested.

"Oh yeah, Neuro's waiting for me," Yako said, walking ahead of her new friend.

"Yeah…Neuro…"

"I'm back!" Yako said, only sticking her neck out from behind the door.

"You're here a little late," Neuro said. "No matter, the slave managed to burn the entire meal despite not needing to cook anything since it was all ordered."

"Hey!! I was trying to heat it up!!" Godai fussed.

"Why's the blender on fire?!" Yako asked.

"Yeah…about that…" Godai muttered.

"Oh well, I see that you're busy. Come on Ai, it's time to go," Sai happily said. "I had fun today Yako. See you later!" The assistant stood from the couch and followed her master outside of the office, wishing Neuro a good night before leaving.

"And why are you stilling hiding behind the door?" Neuro asked, staring at Yako.

"Okay…I kind of got hungry at the restaurant and things got overboard…" she explained. Kicking the door aside with one foot, her large, bubbly stomach was revealed. She was forced to hold it with two arms in order to support herself. "I ate a lot. Oh, here's your credit card."

"It's broken in half," Neuro said.

"The impact of the dinner bill was so great that the credit card business called and said I was responsible for mortal injuries to half of their staff!" Yako excitedly reported, plopping onto the couch. Her belly jiggled and slid about from the sudden movement. "Oh, the furniture will be here in a few days."

"At least you managed to hurt a few people," Neuro smiled. "I plan to spend the rest of the night punishing my slave for ruining the dinner."

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Godai growled, scrubbing the dishes as roughly as he can.

Ai noticed the first sincere smile on her master's face as they walked down the cold streets of the night. "You seem abnormally happy," she said.

"You remember…how I've always said that Yako was special. Somehow she was just special," Sai asked.

"Yes, the from the first time you saw her," Ai answered.

"Well Ai…I've finally figured out what that sensation is. I've fallen for her, I've been lovestruck with her for a while and never knew what it was I felt. Today proved it," Sai said.

"Sai…are you planning to-"

"Yes. The forbidden act! I will introduce conflict into this comedy! I will steal Yako away from Neuro and take her as my own wife!!" Sai smiled.

Author: This chapter was brought to you by ramen noodles! The meal of authors!!


	20. Chapter 20

Cravings

"Oh great! Now I have a demon baby growing inside of me and a mutant psychopathic killer chasing me to make me his bride!!" Yako whined, hugging herself in the darkest corner of the room. Neuro sucked his teeth as he watched his pregnant fiancé begin to roll around on the floor. "I know…" Yako said, wiping her nose. "I just to need to have a small snack to calm myself down."

Opening the fridge, she pulled out a ten foot sandwich. Unfortunately it was also ten feet wide so she can to drag it on paper towels. "Sai is nothing compared to my strength," Neuro said, sitting back at the computer. "And don't overfeed the baby or else you'll have to give birth to a twenty pound child."

"Really?"

"I don't know. I'm not a doctor," Neuro apathetically said, cleaning his teeth with a toothpick. "But it would seem he Sai would kill me to get you or kidnap you to wed you."

"I would say no of course! What is he thinking?!" Yako fussed, taking another bite out of her titanic sandwich as she sat comfortably on the couch. "It's pointless for him to try."

"Cruel words Yako," Neuro grinned. "It seems my demon side is getting to you."

"Hey now…I'm just stating the truth. I may be friends with him but this is too far," Yako said. "I just hope he doesn't ruin our romantic opportunities."

Knock. Knock.

"Someone's at the door," Yako said. "I'll get it." Walking towards the door, she opened it to see Ai calmly standing before her. The older woman looked down at her with emotionless eyes and closed hands.

"I'm here to kidnap you," Ai said. "Please follow me silently."

"TRY HARDER!!" Yako fussed, slamming the door in her face.

"Did it work?" Sai asked, poking his head out of the trash can.

"I'm afraid your Love Plan #1 was unsuccessful," Ai said, bowing her heads in apology. Sai snapped his finger in defeat.

"I knew I should have done it instead of you…ah well," Sai smiled. "Time for Love Plan #2."

Yako returned to her sandwich, peacefully nibbling at it like a mouse. Suddenly a rock broke through the window and hit Yako in the head, knocking her onto the ground.

"Yako, I love you!!" Sai sweetly shouted out. "Want to go to Red Lobster? I'll buy you anything?"

Yako grabbed the rock and made her way to the window. "That almost convinced me but food or no food Neuro is the one for me!" She then threw the rock at the mutant's head, knocking him out. Ai emerged from the alley and dragged his unconscious body into the car.

"Almost convinced you?" Neuro asked. "What is our love? Something so unstable you can trade it in for Red Lobster meals?

"I told you Neuro, food or no food, you're the one for me. It was a moment of weakness," Yako said, patting her hands in victory.

"At least I have an idea of where to take you for our next date," he muttered, returning to his work. "You two timing boar."

Ai drove slowly through the city, wondering when Sai would recover from his blow to the head. He began to wiggle around until he finally lifted himself up. "Oh….she hit me in the head with a rock didn't she?" he asked.

"Indeed…" Ai reported. "I think your Love Plans might need more revision. Maybe you should forget about Yako."

"What?! She's the love of my life Ai! I can't just forget about her!" Sai fussed.

"You have been distracted from solving your identity long enough," Ai said. "You truly are turning this into a parody of the original manga and anime. Why am I even working for you anymore?"

"I'll give you a paycheck," Sai said.

"Fine…" Ai said. "You're fortunate I like you."

"Don't talk to me," Sai pouted, folding his arms and looking away.

"Are you mad at me?" Ai asked. Sai didn't answer back. "If it's about me telling you to give up on Yako, I'm sorry." Sai still didn't answer, he just turned away. Ai found a parking lot and hit the brakes. Stepping out of the car, she unlocked the back seat and sat next to Sai.

"Sai…are you mad at me?" she asked. No answer. She rubbed his shoulder and shook him a little. "Come on, answer me Sai. I said I was sorry."

"I don't care," Sai pouted.

"I know what would make you happy," Ai said.

"Don't do it," Sai warned. Ai smiled, putting her fingers under his shirt. "Don't do it Ai." She began to tickle his stomach and move her fingers around his ribs. Sai laughed uncontrollably as Ai mercilessly tickled him. "Stop Ai!!" he laughed. "Come on!! You're making me seem like a little kid!!"

"Come on, I know you're enjoying this," Ai smiled.

"Okay!! Okay!! I forgive you!! I'm not mad anymore!" Sai laughed, rolling around in the back seat. Ai freed him from her attack.

"Seriously Ai…I'm not a kid," Sai smiled, wiping his eyes.

"I know. Oh, it's lunch time. Want a Happy Meal?" Ai asked.

"Oh yeah!! What kind of toys does McDonald's have?" Sai asked.

"I believe they are selling hotwheels with their meals."

"Screw that. Go to Burger King, I heard you get a Powerpuff Girl action figure from there," Sai said.

"As you wish master," Ai bowed, returning to the front seat.

"Hurry up and drive faster!!" Yako shouted as Neuro drove through traffic, hitting several cars at every turn. "If we don't get to Burger King soon I'll never get the Bubbles action figure!"

"Why are we even going to Burger King?" Neuro asked. "McDonalds sells the dame filth you human garbage bins love."

"I have a craving," Yako tooted. "And because I have a craving you're not allowed to argue with me. I can have and get whatever I want."

"You realize after you pregnancy I'm going to perform enough bondage and S&M on you to make up for this," Neuro grinned. "I'm not your slave, I'm the baby's slave! I wish you had cravings for sex."

"Ha! Studies show that women tend to have decrease in sexual desires during most of their pregnancy," Yako said. "No sex for you!"

"What about the second trimester-though it was theorized by questionable sources you may still feel an increase during that time for sex," Neuro explained. "And you might feel unattractive as the baby grows and you gain twenty pounds. You want to still feel pretty and need a man's touch to remind you of have pretty you are."

"Hey! I don't need you to tell me how pretty I am! Let Burger King do that for me!" Yako fussed. "Oh…I'm sorry Neuro. I'm being such an ass."

"…."

"Maybe if you'd disagree with me I could feel better!" Yako fussed

"It's not your fault," Neuro said, pulling into the Burger King driveway. "According to some books I've read this is all natural. I have already accepted your flawed personality. Your flawed humanity is just icing on the cake."

"Gee…thanks," Yako moaned. "You know…I still have some desire…we still have time left before this pregnancy takes over my body."

"You mean a sex scene?" Neuro excitedly asked.

"Yeah…as long as it's romantic and gentle," Yako reminded. "I'm still a vibrant, young high school girl and I want my shoujo fantasies to be fulfilled."

"Wait…a fantasy?" Neuro asked. "We haven't done that in a long ti-"

Yako's Shoujo Sex Fantasy: 

"_Neuro, where are we?" Yako asked._

"_A special place, it's the bedroom we'll be sharing from now on," Neuro sweetly said, holding her hand. "I was thinking…maybe…if you wanted…we could be intimate on this night?"_

"_Neuro…I don't know…are we ready?"_

"_I've written you 1,000 poems and prepared a varied assortment of candies next to the bed," Neuro revealed. "I just want you to be happy."_

"_Will you be gentle?"_

"_Of course. I'll stop whenever you ask me and go as slow as you want me to," Neuro said as he rubbed her soft, red cheeks._

"_Neuro….take me."_

Neuro's Shounen Fantasy:

"_Please be gentle Neuro…" Yako pleaded._

"_No!! Bwahahahaha!!" Neuro laughed as he ripped her clothes off and tossed her naked body onto the soft bed. "You're mine now!"_

"_I see I can't resist…go ahead…take me!" Yako said. "But please…use ropes and whips! I want to be punished to the max!"_

"_Then I will be your executioner!" Neuro grinned._

"_Neuro."_

"_Yes?"_

"_Be as cruel and merciless as you want. Don't stop even if I scream!"_

Returning to the real world, Neuro noticed a car in front of them. How long had that person been there ordering? Little did he know but Sai and Ai were in that car, checking the menu.

"Let's see, if I get a large coke do you want to split it with me?" Sai asked.

"I don't drink coke. How about Sprite?" Ai asked.

"Eww…they only have Mountain Dew. Oh! How about we split a frosty?" Sai asked.

"Sounds good," Ai said. "We'll order one large frosty with a chicken nuggets kids meal and a Whopper. Is that all master?"

"Yep," Sai said. "And make sure there's a toy inside."

"I know."

The two pulled up to the rear window and Ai handed the cash to the cashier. She received the bags with their food inside and checked for the toy. Sai looked at her with hopeful eyes and she nodded. He smiled as he grabbed the bag and pulled out the Buttercup action figure. "My collection is now complete!" he cheered. He then began to gobble away at his chicken nuggets and French fries. Ai smiled.

"He's going to sleep well tonight," she thought to herself.

Neuro pulled up to the driveway and scanned the menu. "Do you serve puzzles here?" Neuro asked.

"No," the cashier answered.

"Neuro, you know they don't," Yako said. "Ooh, order my some chicken and tell them to give me some onion rings too."

"What should I get?" Neuro asked.

"You don't even eat food. Just get something for me," Yako said. "I also need a few hamburgers and make them the largest size possible. No soda though. It'll give me gas."

"Do you really need to tell me that?" Neuro asked, frowning in disgust at her.

"Well I'm sorry," Yako pouted. "I'm pregnant and a lot of disgusting things are going to be happening to me. I'm sorry if I gross you out with my nastiness."

"You've misinterpreted me," Neuro said. "You'll….be pretty no matter what."

"You mean that?" Yako asked.

"Naturally. I've seen worst in Hell," Neuro said. "No matter what pus or renal plasma flow will increase within you."

"Wait…what? Renal plasma? What does that mean?" Yako asked. "What's going to be oozing out of me?"

"You'll still be pretty to me," Neuro grinned.

"Wait! What's renal plasma?" Yako asked.

* * *

Author: For those who are scared of the term Renal Plasma, don't be. It's simply the flow of blood to the kidneys. No need to be worried. I know it sounds painful…and sickening but it's perfectly normal. Have those babies ladies!

Ai: How old are you to be talking about babies?

Author: Oh Ai. You're always one of my favorite characters. I love you good!

Ai: Why thank you.

Author: Haha! Awkward question ignored! I'm a genius!

Ai: I can hear you.

Author: Crap...


	21. Chapter 21

Sai and Ai vs. Neuro and Yako

"Sai…I'm sorry," Yako sweetly said as she wiped his head with a moist cloth. He peacefully rested in his bed as Yako lied next to him under the blankets. "I'm so sorry I hit you with that rock. Are you okay? Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it."

"Could…you hold me?" Sai asked.

"Of course," Yako nodded wrapping her arms around the killer. She placed his head closely to her chest as she rubbed his head. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yes. A lot better," Sai said.

"Wake up," Ai said, throwing rock after rock at Sai's head. He wriggled in bed as his body was assaulted by stones. Ai continued to throw them until he rose from the sheets. "I'm up already!" Sai fussed, feeling the Yako in his dreams slip away into the air.

"Good," Ai said, putting the bucket of rocks away. It was labeled "Sai's Wake up Rocks."

"You ruined my dream sequence…that was my first one too," Sai moaned. "And I'm tired of waking up with those Wake Up Rocks. I think you just enjoy hurting me."

"No, I love you master," Ai said. "You're like a very close pet to me."

"I don't like the sound of that…but I guess that'll do," Sai said. "What's for breakfast?"

"Poisonous scorpions," Ai said, raising her bandaged hand. "It was very hard to cook."

"You need to be more careful. Are you okay?" Sai asked.

"Yes, for now. I'll go buy the cure on the black market later today," Ai calmly said.

Stuffing a claw into his mouth, Sai looked at Ai as she peacefully ate her cereal. Today they lived in their rendezvous apartment, their hidden base. Sai had decorated the place with various pieces of works he found to be wonderful. There were Lucky Star posters, a cosplay closet for missions, large dolls that Ai brought from her house and other things. Sai looked at his mudkip plushie on the floor. "I like mudkipz…" he said.

"Ai…I've been thinking…"

She placed her spoon down and looked at him, attentively listening to whatever he had to say.

"Maybe you're right about this Yako thing…maybe I'm actually just looking for something," Sai said.

"What would that be?"

"I guess…love," Sai weakly smiled. "Maybe it was because Yako had a baby I somehow thought that meant I could have her. I guess it's because I rarely ever deal with stuff like sentiment or…other things."

"So, you were looking for love," Ai repeated. "Maybe you should find someone you truly love for who they are."

"How about you?"

"That's…rather blunt," Ai said, keeping her spoon from falling out of her grasp.

"Ah yes, a good day on the beach to relax," Yako said, stretching in her black bathing suit. Neuro was disappointed there was no bikini. It was simply the black top and black shorts she wore in Chapter 107. But today wasn't just for relaxation; this was a day for bonding so Neuro was more than willing to put the lack of bikini aside. "Come on Neuro, you have to rub lotion on me so I don't get skin cancer!" Yako cheered.

"It's nice to see you say that so calmly," Neuro said, unfolding the towels and stabbing the umbrella through the ground. Yako stretched out across it on her back, waiting for Neuro to rub her down with suntan lotion. "Make sure to put a lot on my stomach and waist," Yako said. "The baby is most important."

"Ah yes, the baby," Neuro grinned. "You might want some for your chest to. Shall I apply it there too?"

"Sure," Yako said, closing her eyes. A split second afterwards did she realize what she just said. She opened her eyes and saw Neuro about to dig in her black top. "Neuro!" she fussed, slapping his hand away.

"You don't want skin cancer on your breast correct? Then you might get breast cancer too, it would be double cancer," Neuro fiendishly grinned. "Let me just lift that top."

"No!" Yako fussed, covering her chest with both hands. Neuro leapt onto her but she dodged and began to run. He chased after her with the suntan lotion across the beach.

"Do I hear someone in trouble?" Sai said, popping out from under an umbrella.

"Sai?" Yako asked. "What…are you doing here?"

"I'm on my very first date!" Sai excitedly said. "With Ai!"

"Well, I'm on my kind-of second date and currently running away from my boyfriend the rapist," Yako chuckled.

"Sai," Neuro said, walking up to the scene.

"Neuro. I leave Yako alone for a day and you try to rape her?" Sai asked.

"Rape? No, it was just playfulness," Neuro smiled. "She needs her suntan lotion."

"Maybe I should teach you a lesson," Sai grinned.

"Sai, what about our date?" Ai asked, poking her head from under the umbrella. He didn't hear her.

"A challenge?" Neuro asked. "What's the reward?"

"I kill you," Sai smiled.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Yako exclaimed. "That's a little extreme! Why don't we…make the losers buy the winners drinks?"

"Fine…" Neuro and Sai disappointedly moaned.

"We'll play volleyball," Sai said. "Come on Ai! We're playing volleyball!" She glared at him and didn't respond. "Come on Ai. Don't you want to play?"

"….okay," she said, rising from the sand. As the sunlight hit her and she crept out of the shadows of the umbrella, everyone could see her in her purple bikini. As Sai and Neuro had suspected, she was a nicely figured woman.

"Keep your eyes on me you lustful demon!" Yako said, throwing a shell at Neuro's head. He didn't flinch but simply turned to Sai.

"Ready to admit defeat?" Neuro asked.

"First to get three points wins!" Sai excitedly explained.

"Ready Ai?" Sai asked. She didn't answer back. As far as Sai could tell, that serious look in her eyes was one of determination. He would be wrong.

"It seems like a two on two match," Yako said. "I'll do my best."

"Oh you better," Neuro said. "I don't have any cash on me. I can't pay for drinks. He'll have to get something else in return if we lose."

"What?! Don't tell me…if we lose he'll ask for something else and get it!!" Yako panicked. "We gotta win! Who knows what he'll ask for!"

After the field was set, Sai bounced the ball in the air sending it towards Yako. She quickly stuck her feet into the ground and prepared to hit. Using all the strength in her scrawny body, she rammed her closed hands into the air. All she felt was air. The ball then hit her in the chest and fell to the ground.

"One point for The Sai Ai Rebellion!" Sai cheered. Ai silently stood next to him, not joining him in the celebration.

"What the hell Yako?" Neuro uncharacteristically frowned. "We've already lost a point. Your determination is running too thin. If you're not going to use your legs I might as well cut them off or tie them up."

"Well…um….I call Perversion Penalty on Sai!" Yako said. "The ball hit my breast! I feel violated! Take a point away!"

"What? You're just a sore loser," Sai said, waving her off. "Besides, I have a chest right next to me for grabbing."

"I wouldn't count on that," Ai coldly said. She then walked away, returning to her spot under the umbrella.

"Ai? I call a time out!" Sai shouted, making a T sign with his hands. Running over to the umbrella, he bent over and saw Ai reading her book. "What's wrong? Do you want to call Perversion Penalty on me too? Sorry about the chest joke…"

"It's not about the joke," Ai muttered, turning the page until it nearly ripped out of the book.

"What is it about then?" Sai asked.

"Sai, I haven't been on a date in quite a while," she started. "My previous lifestyle never allowed me a luxury. I had high hopes for this date and you decide to play volleyball with Neuro and Yako for some drinks?"

"That's…what this is all about?" Sai curiously asked.

"I knew you would be immature and it would be difficult to deal with you but you must understand how I feel as well if this is to work," Ai carefully explained.

"I see…I'm sorry Ai. I didn't mean to disappoint you, I thought you would have fun playing volleyball too but I should have known you might have wanted to just spend time with me. I'm sorry," Sai weakly smiled, hoping she would forgive him.

"It's not about that. It's true but I just want you to ask before you do these things. It'll show me you at least consider what I want," Ai smiled. "And I forgive you."

"You still want to play?" Sai asked.

"Yes but if we win I want you to take me to nice restaurant later. Someplace Chinese," Ai said.

"Sure thing!" Sai happily said.

"See! Why don't we have a moment like that?" Yako fussed. "Are we even main characters anymore? Maybe this should be titled Sai's Joke or something."

"No, we won't lose so easily. The Neuro Demonic Empire of Hell won't lose it's title," Neuro smirked. "Sai! Let's alter the ante. The winning team gets to be the main character of this fanfiction."

"The ultimate breaking of the fourth wall?! Bring it on!!" Sai grinned. "You ready Ai?"

Whenever you are," Ai confidently said, clapping his hand. "Let's do this." She grabbed the ball and leapt into the air.

"Impossible…" Neuro muttered. "How can a human jump that high? Can we block it? No! She's aiming for Yako! It's too late!" Ai struck the ball in mid air with the sun blazing behind her. Yako squealed as she ducked for cover from the attack. Somehow, possibly a late Christmas miracle, the second Ai landed the ball struck her back in the face.

"Oh my god! You actually have flaws!" Sai shouted. "You actually got hit with the ball!"

"My….serious image…my cool confidence and serenity…ruined by an awkward ball to the face," Ai said.

"Any woman with balls in her face is destined to be degraded," Neuro grinned. "But how did that ball come back to her? She clearly aimed for Yako. I see."

Yako rubbed her rear as she sat on her knees. Neuro finally caught on to an important trait of Yako. "Yako…you never told me you had a big butt," he said in surprise.

"Well, some of the food has to go somewhere," she smiled. "So, that's one point for us right?"

"Don't change the topic," Neuro said, feeling a smile stretch across his face. "You seem to be more gifted than I thought. Yes, that round bottom of yours is impressive. Quite an attractive trait."

"Is Neuro an ass man?" Sai asked. "Oh well. Are you okay Ai?"

"Yes," she said, holding the ball in her hands. She tossed it over to Neuro. It was there ball now as they would serve.

"Your face is red, let me kiss it," Sai said, softly pecking her on the bridge of her nose.

"My face still hurts," Ai said. "But I feel better. Thank you Sai."

"Let's continue this game!" Yako cheered. "Neuro! We have to stay as the main characters! Pick me up and use my butt to deflect the ball."

"No…" he said, holding his mouth to stop from laughter. "No…that is quite enough. We shall play….play normally."

"I shall serve," the demon said. His arms became wings and he flew into the air. "You think I can lose when I'm serving? Prepare for my next tool! 777 Tools Prince of Volleyball Meteorite Crash!" With a single blow, a light flashed so brightly that everything appeared to turn white. It became hotter as the ground shook violently. The ball flew to Sai's side as everyone brace themselves for an impact strong enough to wipe out the dinosaurs.

"Brace yourself Ai!!" Sai yelled. "This will be the greatest force we will face!!"

"What about Sicks?" Ai asked.

"Who?!"

"Never mind!"

The ball crashed, causing the ground to roll about like it was a blanket. Yako fell to her knees, the only thing she could see is Neuro landing softly back onto the ground. When the light cleared, everyone's sight was blurred. Yako rose from the sand and noticed a gigantic crater where Sai and Ai stood. "Oh my god…did you kill them?!"

Neuro walked over to the crater. "Impossible…"

Ai stood in the center of the crater, the ball tightly in her hands. "No points for you," she said.

"That's my assistant!" Sai cheered.

"You can't spell assistant without the word ass," Neuro grinned. "Isn't that right Yako?"

The game continued, eventually leading to both sides tied with two points. "The final round," Neuro muttered. "We must win this to keep our lives as the main character."

Sai leapt into the air but Neuro decided to join him in the sky. "Lets finish this," Sai said. Raising the ball with one arm, he hit with another. Neuro struck, aiming for the ball. A loud rip echoed through the beach. When the two returned the ground the ball was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's the ball?" Sai asked.

"It must have split in half!" Yako said, pointing to the half-ball on their side.

"Alright! We win!" Sai cheered.

"No…the other half of the ball landed on our side as well," Ai said.

"So no one wins…" Sai whined. "This is lame…ah well. Screw the rules! I'm still taking Ai to a nice restaurant. See you guys later."

"See ya later!" Yako waved. "That was fun Neuro. We really worked as a team and had fun together, just doing normal things."

"Yes, it was fun. The highlight of this day was the discovery of that bubbly rear you possess," Neuro grinned, smacking her behind.

"Hey!" Yako squealed, covering her butt. "You watch your hands in public."

"So…does that mean I can do it in the office?" Neuro grinned.

"Well…maybe tonight," Yako seductively smiled, wrapping her arms around him. "Let's go home. Maybe you can find something else jiggly to play with."

"You mean-"

"Yes! We're having Jello for dinner!"

* * *

Author: Dear God! Is the writing for my fanfic truly atrocious? Fine! For those who do not appreciate the quick, snappy style I've created specifically for this fanfic I have created a fancy chapter! Enjoy your novelistic presentation of my comedy!

The Fancy Chapter

"Neuro…" whispered Yako with a tone like honey swimming from her voice. "Why does the snow dance so prettily yet freeze us to the bone?" Stepping through the quilt of snow atop the long lost ground, Neuro walked up to her back as she adored the timberwolf sky above with lanterns of red glowing in her cheeks. "It's because," he quietly whispered near her red-tipped ears. "Winter is telling us to find a special person to cuddle with and be warm."

Unaware those words were signals for his actions, she was caught off guard by the two large arms wrapping around her petite frame. She gripped onto his gloved hands with her mittens as the demon pulled her to his chest, warming her hair with his gentle breath. "That's…very sweet of you. It really is such a romantic way to look at the cold," she said feeling a comfortable drowsiness wrap around her eyes. "But how is it that we were on the beach in the last chapter but now it's snowing in this one?"

"Do you wish for logic or would you rather embrace this moment as if it'll never come again?" Neuro asked, turning her so she may look into the deep gaze that she possessed him in.

"I…would rather have the logic," Yako said. "Without logic, I might get another baby surprise from you!"


	22. Chapter 22

Night of a 1000 Vampires!

"Two months have passed since we realized the joke about me being pregnant wasn't a joke," Yako narrated. "I've grown a little bump in my belly but Neuro tends to appreciate the other fat side of me rather than my stomach…but over the time we've spent he has learned what I liked and has begun to treat me like his fiancé. But…there is one problem."

"Umm…Neuro?" Yako asked as the two walked down the snowy streets, heading to the market to satisfy her cravings. The demon was unprepared for the plump girl's question, calmly replying with a "Yes?"

"Technically, we agreed we'd get married but…you've never proposed to me…you know," she blushed, bumping her arm into his. "With a pretty ring and everything."

"Yes…that seems to be the case doesn't it?" Neuro muttered, realizing he had forgotten a very important tradition in a human's life.

"So…are you going to propose soon? We're not fiancés yet…technically," Yako smiled.

"I can't tell you or else it won't be a surprise," Neuro calmly answered. Now he had to busy himself with selecting a ring for her. The problem wasn't the time it was simply that he had no idea what human taste in jewelry was like and Yako hadn't shown any signs of interest in jewelry during their time together. It wasn't like he could compare his preferences with hers, he was a demon.

"I'll need some assistance," he thought to himself. Sai was far too occupied with his blooming relationship with Ai to meet him, he would need a human.

"Help with a ring?" Sasazuka asked, sitting at his desk in the police station. He turned back to the computer, typing the rest of his investigation report from a recent case. "Unfortunately I am occupied with a string of homicides," he explained. "Something as peaceful as ring hunting is only a luxury to me in these dark times. Whoever this killer is he enjoys the taste of dog flesh." Neuro had no choice; he would obtain a ring so valuable a human could never create its image if they held the dreams of a million people.

"Um…Neuro? Where are you going?" Yako asked, rubbing her stomach. Neuro dressed in the office, wearing a heavy scarf and brown trench coat. He picked up two suitcases and opened the door.

"I'm going to have an affair," Neuro casually said.

"What?! You have some nerve to directly tell me that you son of-"

"It was a joke," Neuro quickly replied. "I'm going on a business trip."

"What kind of business? With a whore?!"

"No, you'll see when I come back," he said, popping a brown hat on top of his head.

"Call me okay?" Yako sweetly ordered. The demon nodded and grinned, leaving the office with a look of determination. Calling for a taxi, he ordered the driver to take him to the airport. Security made sure to scan his suitcases properly, finding crosses and pieces of wood inside along with other strange items.

"Sir, what are you going to do when you get to your destination?" the guard asked.

"I'm on a business trip," Neuro smiled. "Wood and crosses are necessary."

Once on the plane, he securely locked his suitcases in place and closed his eyes. He set his alarm to ring when it was time for the in-flight movie. Strangely enough, it was titled: "The Worst 100 Plane Crashes in History." Some footage was explicit and extremely graphic, leaving nothing to the imagination. The audience was left in horror.

"That guy's arm!!"

"I'm going to be sick!!"

"Get me off this plane! Get me off!!"

"There's some green haired girl in a giant mecha!! Talking about coralians and some kid named Renton!!"

"Hey!! You can't show that plane crash! My mom died in that crash!!"

"Pffftttt-Bwahahahahahaha!!" Neuro laughed, holding his stomach as tears actually came out of his eyes. "This is the best comedy I have ever seen!"

Hours into the flight, the plane began to rumble. Neuro was too busy reading a book on the human anatomy to pay any attention as the pilot addressed the passengers over the intercom. "Hello and good evening, this is your pilot speaking. We are experiencing some turbulence. Yes…it's rather rough for turbulence but…I'm a pilot. Don't argue with me."

It only took a minute for an explosion in the sky to alert everybody. Neuro continued reading. "What the hell was that?!" the passengers screamed, looking out the window as the wing caught on fire.

"Hello and good evening, this is your pilot speaking. Okay…I lied about the turbulence. We have recently discovered that the plane we are riding is decades old and has not been inspected for repairs in…well…a long time folks. But don't worry, we are prepared for this. If you'll look under your seats you'll see an emergency gun, please take it out."

Neuro continued reading.

"What do we do with this gun?!" one of the passengers screamed.

"Hello and good evening, this is your pilot speaking. Calm down, the gun will save you from every crash and explosion that can possibly occur."

"HOW?!"

"Hello and good evening, this is your pilot speaking. You shoot yourself with it. By suicide, you will not have to feel the horrible pain of a plane crash or explosion 30,000 feet above sea level. Please assist children with their guns if they wish to die as well."

Suddenly it became the hour of confession on board this plane. Before everyone was to surely die they wished to confess their secrets to their loved ones.

"Honey," one woman said. "I…find you revolting…"

"Thanks….at least I can burn in Hell with that in my mind…"

"Dear, we've been together for 50 years," one old woman nervously chattered. "But I never did like your grilled chicken."

"What?! I knew it! You would just eat away at the chicken, pretending to like it! All my life has been a lie," the old man retorted, turning away from his wife.

"Now, now. We'll be in Heaven soon enough, can't we put this behind us?"

"There is no Heaven…"

"That's…rather harsh…"

Neuro flipped the next page in his book. Suddenly, without warning the airplane erupted and shattered in mid air, disintegrating every passenger excluding the puzzle eater. As he began to fall 30,000 feet to the earth, he continued to read his book for the first 20,000 feet. Afterwards he decided to revert to his bird form and fly the remaining distance.

* * *

Busily stuffing her face with ice cream, Yako sat in front of the television with a warm blanket covering her up. Godai sat at his desk, reading a magazine on pachinko due to his low salary. "Oh, I forgot," Yako said, turning back to Neuro's second slave. "Thanks for staying over. I guess I couldn't thank you when you came because I was eating."

"Yeah, no problem," Godai said. "It's not like I had a choice. That damn monster sent me an email on my Yahoo!!"

"_There's a pig in the office. Please take care of her every whim and need while I'm gone. Of course you don't have to, but if you're not going to use your arms and legs then they might as well be chopped off right? Love, Neuro."_ The email read.

"That email had no love in it!!" Godai fussed. "I bet he's off somewhere having the time of his life!!"

* * *

"Which way to the castle of a 1000 vampires…" Neuro muttered, opening his map. He checked out the medieval village as he exited the grimly, edged woods. Judging from the heavy air around him, something tragic must have occurred recently. The castle was in full view, on top a mountain a few miles away from the village so a vampire attack wouldn't be impossible. Suddenly the vampires revealed themselves, emerging from every nook and cranny within the village. "Seems I forgot to call Yako when I got off the plane. Better call her now," Neuro said, blocking a claw from the first vampire to leap at him.

"Oh, the phone's ringing!" Yako excitedly said. "It must be Neuro! Gimme gimme gimme!"

"Here ya go, damn," Godai snorted, "What's so good about that freak?"

"Neuro! Are you off the plane?" Yako asked.

"Yes," he replied, kicking a group of vampires into the local inn. "The flight was pleasant if you ignore the minor explosion."

"Explosion?! Neuro…are you okay?!" Yako panicked.

"Yes, you more than anyone should be aware that I would easily survive something like that. Is the slave there like I ordered?"

"Oh yes, Godai came over with pizza and deli meats like I asked him to," Yako asked. "I had to send him to the store for fresh pineapples and watermelons with ketchup so I know I'm being a burden to him."

"I see." Neuro grabbed a piece of wood off the ground and stabbed it through the chest of a vampire before leaping into the air. "7 weapons of the Demon Emperor! Evil Aqua!!"

"Evil Aqua? What are you doing?" Yako asked.

"Killing vampires in Transylvania," Neuro reported.

"Wha-wha-wha-WHAT?! Vampires in Transylvania?! Why?!" Yako shouted. "Why would you be there of all places?!"

"You'll see when I return," a grin crossing his face. "It's a surprise."

"No surprise is worth getting you killed over."

"It's okay, I've dealt with vampires in Hell as well. They held various events and festivals," Neuro explained. "Hmm….seems I have been bitten."

"Neuro!"

"Don't worry, vampire bites are easily cured," Neuro said. "I have medicine for just an occasion."

"I'll see you when you come back, okay? Good luck with the vampires, I love you," Yako said.

"I love you too," Neuro said, clapping the phone shut. There were still 500 vampires left to deal with but he hadn't even begun to reveal his true powers yet.

"Hey Yako," Godai called out. "I got a question for you."

"Sure, what is it Godai?" she asked, flipping through the channels on the television.

"About that baby you have…I know it isn't kicking yet or anything but…I was wondering…how it felt...," he nervously said. "If you don't mind that is. You probably don't want me touching your stomach or anything."

"Oh, it's okay. You can come for a rub," Yako smiled. He hesitated, simply staring at her at first. He didn't know if he should actually take her up on that offer. "Ah, what the hell…" he grunted, getting up from his seat and sitting on the couch next to Yako. It was awkward to just sit next to a girl and rub a part of her body so casually but he managed.

"God damn…why does this feel so good?" he asked himself, gently rubbing her small bump. "How does it feel having something growing inside of you?"

"It feels really wonderful," Yako said. "I wish I could hug the baby but it might hurt it."

"Dang…makes me want one of my own."

"You better find someone nice soon too or else it'll be to late soon," Yako advised.

"Too late? What the hell are you talking about? I got plenty of time."

"Godai…no offense but your personality isn't much to brag about and you look really mean and violent," Yako commented.

"No offense?! That's totally offensive!! Did that damn monster tell you to insult me?!" Godai fussed, slamming his fist into the table.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that…but it's better to hear it now than never."

"You…you won't even apologize for the insult…." Godai muttered. The remainder of the night was awkward for them both. Godai sat quietly at his seat and Yako's craving forced her to order him around. He was silent most of the time, only mumbling when he had to.

"Could you get me an apple please?" Yako kindly asked.

"Yea….sure…" he said, walking towards the refrigerator. He handed her the apple and walked away.

"Thanks Godai."

"Yea…sure…"

"Godai, I'm sorry for what I said. I stepped over the line. You're really nice….deep down. And for what's it worth…it's your inner self that is truly wonderful," Yako said.

"Inner self? What are you talking about?"

"That side of you that comes out when you aren't around Neuro. That responsible and selfless good part of you that counters the bad side. Like that time you saved Mutsuki, the granddaughter of the toy company," Yako happily recalled.

"Yeah…" Godai smiled.

"And your patience when Neuro keeps asking you to drive us around. And how about tonight? I'm sure even though you complained you would have come over to take care of me anyway."

"Yeah…thanks Yako," Godai warmly said. "I guess there's still some hope for me."

"Not too much though. All that aside, your illiteracy leaves much to desire," Yako sighed.

"Hey! I said I was taking classes!!"

The clock struck nine and Godai was still wide awake. Yako's eyes grew heavier with each tick of the clock. Yawning and stretching out her arms, Yako held onto her blanket and walked into the bedroom. "Good night Godai…I'm hitting the hay early," Yako said. Thanks for taking care of me tonight."

"Yeah, good night."

"Oh…and I'm sure there's a nice woman waiting for you out there. Maybe taking a trip to another country would help."

"Just go to sleep," Godai sighed, and so she did. Tumbling about in the bedroom, she slipped into her pajamas and rubbed her belly good night before finally letting sleep weigh her eyes down. Little did she know, her surprise would be staring her in the face the next morning.

Opening her eyes from the sound of the alarm clock, Yako kicked the blankets off in the morning warmth. The first thing to appear in her sight as it cleared from the awakening daze was a small black box next to her on the bed. Reaching for it, she opened it and saw a ring. On top of it was a large dark red diamond, the insides seemed to flow peacefully as if she was looking under the water. Two large arms then wrapped around her, catching her off guard but the smell of the person was familiar.

"Neuro?" she asked.

"Will you marry me? It's not like you can do better anyway you little swine," he chuckled.

"Oh shut up. You know I will," she smiled.

"Isn't the typical human answer a Yes or a No?" Neuro asked, snatching the box away, hanging it over her head like a fish for a seal.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! I mean Yes!" she laughed, trying to reach for the ring in his arms. She grabbed her wrist and gently slid it onto her fingers.

"Very well, from this day forward you are no longer my slave," he sweetly smiled. "You are my love slave."

"That's not much of an improvement…" she muttered. "But…I'm really happy. Without a doubt this is the happiest moment in my life! You and I are getting married!!"

"Make sure to keep that ring safe," he said as she leapt onto him, hugging him as tightly as she could. "It was made from the blood of a thousand vampires."

"So that's what you were doing last night," she smiled. "I guess I'm too used to all this demonic and murderous stuff to worry about it anymore. Let's spend the morning together, just you and me."

"Having sex?"

"Nope. That's for the honeymoon," she smirked. "Try anything and it's rape."

"You humans and your laws…"

"And after this morning I'll be busy all day," she excitedly said.

"Why?"

"I have to brag about my engagement to you! Everyone must know!!"

Author: Sorry about the delayed update. This chapter was hard to write. The original had so many anime references in it, it would be hit and miss or a complete failure or a great success. I had referenced Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, Gintama, One Piece, Bleach, Karin-or Chibi Vampire- D.Gray Man, Lucky Star, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, .hack would have been interesting, and Death Note along with Naruto. That was too much. So I went with original storyline….how unoriginal.


	23. Chapter 23

Engagement! You Better Brag!

"Good afternoon Yako," Aya said, sitting comfortably in her prison seat behind a thick wall of see-through protective material. "You seem to be glowing beautifully today. I assume it's from the baby."

"Nope," Yako happily squeaked, smiling so sweetly with a honey sweetness that her cheeks became bubbly. Slowly moving her hand up to the counter, Yako's ring finger tapped on the table as if the very sight of her dark blood ring couldn't attract enough attention. Aya's heart skipped a beat as she caught the first glance of the jewelry.

"Yako, did that monster propose to you at last?" Aya cheerfully asked.

"Yep! We're officially fiancés!" A finger to the lips and eyes that looked off into the distance allowed the detective's excited heart to be seen through her expression. "And I'm going to brag to everyone! I have to tell everybody!"

"I'm happy for you," Aya said. "I wish I could attend or sing at the wedding."

"That would be wonderful….if you didn't commit those crimes…" Yako sighed.

"I can recommend some excellent singers and bands that I've met during my career," Aya said. "My new assigned manager works at the studio I produce my music."

"Wait! Your new manager? They're still keeping you?"

"Yes. Despite the murders I am a lucrative resource for them. Not even immoral crimes will stop them as long as they can make money," Aya calmly explained, only perceiving those people as starving anteaters.

"Well…will you kill your new manager?"

"I might," Aya smiled. "We'll see."

"You didn't learn your lesson?!"

"Are you finished here?" Neuro asked, watching Yako exit the prison room. Pulling a list from her purse, she checked off Aya's name and placed the paper back.

"Yep. Now we have to go to Sai's apartment. I'll call him to see if he's there," Yako explained. She hit speed dial and patiently waited as the ring tone continued to buzz in her ear. "Ah! Here we are! Sai are you-"

"Hi! It's Sai and Ai! We're not at home because we're in Hawaii being stupid!! Woohoo! If you're the cops, forget what you just heard. If you're Yako, we'll bring back crabs and lobsters! See ya!" the voice machine finished.

"They're…in Hawaii?" Yako muttered. "I guess I should have known since they travel the world so much. Oh well, I'll tell them when they get home. Let's go to the police station!"

* * *

"Sasazuka, Yako's here for you," one of the officers said as they walked by, patting his paper covered desk. The grayed haired man raised his head, abandoning his report to watch Yako and her assistant walk up to his desk, the little girl glowing red in her face. "Yako, is there a problem?"

"Nope! Not at all! In fact, I have wonderful news!" Yako squealed, holding her hands behind her back. "Close your eyes!"

"My eyes? Okay…" the cop resigned, suspecting her of foul play only for a split second. Who was he to know how a teenager thinks, especially a pregnant one?

"Okay, open them!"

Snapping his eyes open, he stared at her with bafflement. What did she do?

"No, look at my hand," she corrected, waving her hand on the table. He saw what had made her so excited. "I'm engaged! Isn't that great?!"

"Congratulations," a calm breath remarked, showing how casual Sasazuka was even in such a joyous time. A small smile was all he could pull out.

"You look so calm. Your eyes aren't even gleaming, rosy petals aren't appearing out of nowhere, you're not even blushing," Yako whined. "I guess a small smile is your way of expressing yourself. Thank you."

"You." Sasazuka deeply voiced, changing his sights to Neuro. "I still suspect you. Treat her appropriately."

"No problem!" Neuro cheered. "You can even bring a gun to the wedding. Yako's hillbilly family is used to weddings with at least one corpse smoking on the ground."

"We're not hillbillies! I just enjoy the taste of opossum is all," Yako fussed.

Looking in sudden surprise, Sasazuka removed the cigarette from his mouth before speaking. "You want me to attend your wedding?"

"Of course, why wouldn't we?" Yako asked. "You're a good friend."

"Thanks. I'll be sure to come."

"Wedding? Is that true?" a male's voice asked from behind them. Turning to identify the voice, Yako could see Higuchi walking up to them with his laptop in hand. "You're getting married?"

"I completely forgot to tell him!!" Yako gasped, covering her face in horror as she leapt back. "Higuchi! How could I have forgotten about you?! The wedding is important but…you don't even know I'm pregnant!"

"You're pregnant?! Damn it! Who beat me to the punch?!" he growled.

"Beat you to the punch? If you mean who got me pregnant, it was Neuro. And look at the ring I got! It was made from the blood of a 1000 vampires!" she bragged.

"Now I need a suit…" the hacker moaned. Opening the laptop, he freed it from its hibernating state and sat down at an empty desk, typing away as quickly as usual. "I'll just hack this store's website and make them give me a free tuxedo."

"Wait! What?! I don't want people getting arrested at my wedding!" Yako fussed.

"Could you order me one as well?" Neuro asked.

"Sure, just give me your sizes," the hacker happily said.

"Criminals! They commit crimes and steal right in the middle of a police department!" Yako complained, falling to her knees in disbelief. "And who am I to complain?! I'm going to bring a demon into a church and marry him!"

"Yes, the morality of the police department has fallen," Sasazuka stated, returning to his report.

"What about that year you disappeared?" Higuchi countered. "There's rumors that you did some pretty shady stuff. Even criminals fear you!"

"What year?" Sasazuka asked. "I don't remember."

"I do," Yako said, rising from the floor. "I read the novel. He was in South America and met a woman who wrote on the wings of butterflies."

"So that's why there's a butterfly in the Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro anime opening," Neuro noted.

"Yeah! He was involved with the mafia! I remember reading about it," Yako declared. "That's why some big guy from the mafia helped you out in Episode 23!" Higuchi fussed. "And that's why he was conveniently in the right place at the right time too."

"We had a novel?" Neuro asked.

"Yeah. It's sad but the Americans may never get it," Yako sighed. "That's just how business works."

"Here, I'm ordering it right now," Higuchi declared, clicking the BUY button.

"While you're on the internet," Neuro started. "Can you find a website about how big women's breast get from pregnancy?"

"Pervert!!" Yako fussed.

"Pregnancy must be beneficial to a man somehow," Higuchi noted. "Children can be such a pain."

"Indeed," Sasazuka said. "I still pay child support weekly."

Everyone fell silent.

"Ex…excuse me?" Yako asked.

"You heard me…" Sasazuka said, walking away from the scene with his reports. "Life can get complicated fast."

"Anyway…I'm having a craving," Yako drooled. "Where's the vending machines in here?"

"Just turn around," Higuchi said. "Okay Neuro! I found a website with pictures!"

"Wonderful." The demon walked over to the computer, examining the comparisons of before and after pregnancy pictures. "Yako! It seems you will be blessed by this pregnancy!"

"Pervert! If I weren't having cravings I'd fuss at you!" she said, chewing on the plastic layer that separated her from the vending machine's food.

"I didn't know you would actually eat the vending machine!!" Higuchi shrieked.

"I don't have any money…" Yako whined. "The baby is so furious with the cravings."

"Here, take my wallet," Neuro said, handing it to her as he scrolled down the internet page to see more from the gallery.

"Thanks! Hey Higuchi! Does the vending machine accept credit cards?" Yako asked.

"Oi…how much are you going to eat?"

"Hey, I was wondering Neuro," Higuchi mumbled as he typed away. "Since you're…like a bird demon exactly how is the baby going to end up?"

"Human. It will have some demonic powers and it'll still be hatched from an egg," Neuro explained.

"So…you can't go to a hospital for that right?"

"Unfortunately no. We'll have to lay the egg at our apartment."

"Apartment?"

"We renovated the office. It's now suitable to sustain life. We can't have the baby born at a hospital where its demonic genes will frighten the humans," Neuro explained.

"My water broke!!" Yako shrieked, standing in a puddle of water.

"What…." Neuro said, feeling his arms lose their energy. He couldn't believe it. The time had come. Even he had to admit, he was in shock and at a loss for words. "I…I need to get you to the office as fast as possible!"

"Just kidding," Yako grinned, revealing an open water bottle behind her back. She had used it to put the water on the floor.

"Damn! She got you Neuro!" Higuchi laughed. Neuro sucked his teeth, dashing for Yako and holding her up to the roof by her collar.

"I bet you think you're a comedic genius don't you, you slithering scum?" the demon smirked.

"I know men's weakness," Yako smiled. "Pregnant women going into labor. Even a demon like you can get freaked out by the very concept."

"I see. With pregnancy comes power," Neuro muttered.

"There's a reason this fanfic is still called Yako's Joke!" Yako chuckled as she returned to the ground. "But really, it's nice to see you so concerned. But my situation is unique right?"

"Yes, pregnancy is split in half for her. The actual pregnancy lasts for 4 and a half months but the egg hatching will last for the remaining time," Neuro stated. "That's how it will work in your condition."

"Excuse me," Sasazuka said, revealing his presence in the room. "I don't know about eggs and hatching but I need to speak with Neuro privately."

"I see," the demon muttered, leaving with the detective next to him. Unsure of where the officer was taking him, Neuro continued to follow until he found himself on the roof of the police department building. Sasazuka walked to the edge where he rested his arms on the fence, looking up to the sky.

"Why did you call me here?" Neuro asked.

"To warn you. From what I've heard just now…you're a demon," Sasazuka said.

"You don't care?"

"Not really. With Sai's presence I partially assumed demons existed. But since you really are one your personality must be quite abnormal from us humans," the smoker said. "Along with what you're used to. Yako's a good girl. But pregnancy can also be ugly."

"If you're about to explain about cravings and complaints and the madness of her hormones I understand," Neuro said. "I know of such things."

"I'm talking about after birth," Sasazuka said. "Women tend to suffer afterwards, sometimes quickly after birth. That's the prenatal period and it can be a dreadful time for a couple."

"What happens?"

"Depression." Sasazuka directly said. "Postpartum depression. Rarely, worst psychological conditions may occur."

"What can I do at that time?" Neuro asked.

"Just be there for her," Sasazuka explained. "It usually lasts for a few days but with someone to love her and hold her she'll be fine."

"Why do you know about this?"

"I helped deliver my sister when she was born," Sasazuka smiled. "Long story short, I learned more than any boy should about what occurs during labor. Nothing scares me anymore."

Neuro grinned, leaving the detective on the roof. "Thanks. I'll be sure to remember that information. I'll be there for Yako. I would have anyway." As he walked down the hall he could see Yako running up to him.

"Hey Neuro! We need to find some buffalo wings real quick!"

"Another craving?"

"No. I just need some buffalo wings. I'm hungry," she smiled. "Oh, and my back is starting to hurt so afterwards could we go home? I really need to rest."

"Of course," Neuro happily said, placing a hand on her back as they left the station. "Done bragging for the day?"

"Yep! I'll email the rest of the people but now we can start planning the wedding!" she excitedly said.

"…."

"We have to be careful how to seat Sai and Sasazuka. Those two cannot meet or see each other," Yako said.

"…."

"Hey, Neuro…are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he quietly said. "Just thinking to myself."

"Whatcha thinking about?" she smiled, bumping her hip into his.

"Nothing much," he said. In truth, he began to feel fear. He needed to go home as fast as possible to research the postnatal period. Surprising even himself, the fear of what could happen sunk in like an anchor. Images of Yako suffering after the birth deeply troubled him, not only simply because she was suffering but because even as a demon he wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

"Neuro…are you sure you're okay?" Yako asked, placing a hand on his arm.

"Yes. I just need to do some research," he smiled. "Just so you know Yako, men have another great fear."

"Besides pregnant women in labor? What could it be?"

"Being unable to help," he said.


	24. Chapter 24

Baby Shower! Those Without Gifts May Leave.

Yako happily wrapped herself up like a worm into a blanket decorated with chicks and ducks, eating her buffalo wings out of a box. Neuro spent his time on the computer, researching a topic that had bothered him since his conversation with Sasazuka. The postnatal period. He wasn't pleased with the chances of postpartum depression but that didn't strike an esoteric fear in him like the other risks. At first he discovered some disturbing facts that sickened him more than terrified him. Then came the dreaded risks written in detailed within several articles. Psychosis and syndromes were one of few possible risks.

Neuro gazed over at Yako as she suddenly took hold of an ice cream container, raising it over her head and digging into it with her mouth and nose like a goblin with a cracked egg. He chuckled, amused by her ill mannered way of eating but behind his eyes were images of suffering. "Something wrong Neuro?" she asked.

"Yes," he said. "You eat like a prisoner."

"I can't help it," she snorted, grabbing a spoon.

"_All I can do is hope for the best,"_ Neuro thought to himself.

"Come on Neuro," Yako smiled, patting the cushion next to her. "Sit next to your pregnant fiancé."

With a smirk, he rose from the chair and sat onto the couch, crossing his legs and wrapping an arm around the petite blonde. "What pile of slop are you watching?" he remarked, seeing an unusual show flash onto the screen.

"I think you'll like it," Yako sweetly smiled. "It's about a suicidal teacher that criticizes the world."

"So you finally understand my tastes."

"Well, you've had to learn mine and I know how ignorant you demons can be about humans," she said, resting her head on his chest. "You don't smell like charcoal tonight too."

"Yes, apparently humans do not enjoy the aroma of flaming corpses."

"Well sorry," Yako hummed. She snuggled further into her blanket, looking at the chicks and ducks designed on it. "We should have chicken for breakfast."

One Month Later…..

Yako flickered her eyes as morning crept onto her face from the bedroom window. Rolling over, she noticed Neuro was missing from the bed. "Neuro?" she muttered. "Maybe he's making me jelly-stuffed pancakes with shrimp!" Tossing the sheets aside, she ran out of bed and into the office. Neuro wasn't wearing his typical blue suit but the white vest under it.

"Good morning parasite. Your unholy breakfast is on the table," he pointed. Behind him was a walled area near the desk.

"Neuro, what's behind those walls?" she asked as she sat up to the kitchen counter. Neuro grinned but didn't look back at her.

"Your nest," he said. "There are only one and a half months left until you lay the egg."

"Ooh! Tell me when it's done!"

"Naturally."

Sasazuka then walked in, a gift wrapped box in his hands. "Oh, sorry," he said, noticing the two enjoying their morning, more specifically Yako in her silk, prenatal gown.

"Good morning Sasazuka," Yako greeted. "Why are you here so early?"

"I came to drop off my present for the baby shower later," he said. "I didn't want to forget the gift."

"Thank you. You may drop it off at the desk," Neuro said, busily working on the nest. He pulled out a chainsaw and a sledgehammer.

"What are you doing?" the officer asked, peeking over the walls.

"He's building the nest for me to lay my egg," Yako smiled. "How does it look?"

"Like a nest…" Sasazuka said.

"That's…not very descriptive. Don't ever write a book…"

"Need some help?" the gray haired man asked, hanging his arms down. "I've built a few nests in my life."

"What kind of career did you have?" Yako asked.

"Thanks for the offer," Neuro said, grabbing his spiked shovel and miniature crane. "But in the demon world it is tradition for the male puzzle eater to build the nest by himself."

"I understand. Where I'm from we have a tradition like that too," Sasazuka replied, leaning against the wall, smoking his cigarette.

"No…forget career, what kind of life did you live?" Yako muttered.

"I have a nail shotgun if you need it It's in my car," the officer offered.

"What?! Mr. Sasazuka…I'll ignore everything you've said but…could you please not smoke around me and the baby?" Yako politely asked.

"Sorry. I should be leaving anyway. I have an art class later," he explained, checking his watch. Waving farewell, he exited the office as peacefully as he entered. Yako couldn't say a word. Suddenly Sasazuka became the weirdest person in the world.

"We're back from Hawaii!" Sai cheered, bursting into the door with crabs and fish in his hands. Ai followed, wearing a straw hat and a black shirt with shorts-an unusual sight to say the least. "Here's your seafood!" Sai smiled, plopping them onto the table.

"Welcome back! How was your trip?" Yako asked. "Do you have any pictures?"

"Plenty." Ai said, whipping them out. "Thanks to our Sony Digital Camera we were able to print them out and enjoy with ease, speed, and quality."

Sai nodded in agreement. "Yep. Every memorable moment was taken in high quality no matter what condition or weather. Thanks to the Sony Digital Camera."

"Could you two stop advertising? And now that I think about it…you're both wearing Sony shirts!" Yako fussed.

"What is going on in here?" Sai asked, peeking over the special walls Neuro had built. "Oh! A nest. Which design is this? Chick or quail?"

"We were thinking about buying a nest for our apartment as well," Ai said, sitting down at the kitchen counter."

"Now nests are common?! Is my pregnancy even special anymore?!" Yako fussed, slouching onto the table.

"Hey, if your baby is going to be like, half bird demon, half human would it be cannibalism to feed it chicken and eggs?" Sai asked.

"My kind barely has ethics at all," Neuro informed. "We eat chickens all the time."

"Here's the photos from our vacation." Ai passed the pictures to Yako, sitting next to her in order to explain each photo. The first one was of a shark chasing after people in the beach. Looks like it got someone too. Ai giggled. "That's when Sai turned into a shark and went swimming. It was amusing when he actually bit someone's leg off."

"This is a vacation to you?" Yako fearfully muttered, afraid to look at the rest of the pictures. "Oh! Sai won a limbo contest?"

"Yeah but look at the next picture!" Sai cheered. "I dissolved my spine so I could easily slither under the bar."

"That's disgusting…"

Yako then flipped over to the next photo. It was unusual; she couldn't tell what it was exactly. Then she flipped it upside down. "Oh my god!!" she screeched, placing the photo at the end of the pile.

"Oh…forgive me." Ai said, taking the photo out. "Sai snuck something into my drink and I guess we did some things in the bed that we shouldn't have taken photos of."

"But it was fun right?" Sai asked.

"Of course. In fact I'm sure Yako and Neuro would enjoy it as well. It's very complex to do but if done right you can feel a great amount of pleasure," Ai explained.

"But…your legs were and his arms were…how can you do that?" Yako asked, really not wanting an answer.

"And look at this! This is my souvenir from the trip," Sai joyfully declared, showing Yako a photo album titled: _Ai's Sexy Hawaiian Days._ Almost afraid to open it, Yako bravely grabbed the cover and flipped it. She could see Ai in questionable poses. There were definitely enough pictures of her stepping out of the water. There was one scene where Sai stole the top of her bikini, running across the beach with it. The real question is who took that picture?

"These photos look very personal. Maybe I shouldn't be looking at these," Yako nervously advised, handing the album to Ai.

"I don't mind," Ai said, glancing at the see-through clothing she wore in Hawaii and all the delightful photos Sai took of her. "If you wish, there is an 18 and older section of the book. It includes me and Sai."

"No thank you," Yako rejected. "But you seem very open about your body Ai. I'm surprised."

"I don't see any problem with showing trusted female friends," Ai said. "According to Sai, I'm beautiful enough to outshine the world."

"Did Sai really say something that romantic?!" Yako excitedly asked, rising from the counter.

"What?! No…" Sai replied, looking away from the girls.

"Look! He's blushing!" Yako cheered. "Give me the camera! I'm gonna take a picture!"

"Hey! Cut it out!" Sai whined, running from the camera's sight.

"Sai is very sweet when he's alone with me," Ai smiled, drinking a cup of tea. "He can be very romantic and loving. He's also a biter," she coldly said.

"I said I was sorry about biting you," Sai whined again.

"It left a mark for a few days," Ai informed. "So I couldn't go out in a bikini. We stayed inside and went into the casino. We won a lot of money there so expect a few large gifts for your baby shower."

"The nest is complete!" Neuro proudly declared.

"Oh boy! Let me see it!" Yako squealed.

"No. You may wait until tonight's baby shower," Neuro informed. "And just so you don't feel tempted to take a peek I have built a moat of venomous snakes and spiders. Under that moat are squids and beholders and under that moat is the ground."

"Damn! He knows my weakness…pain." Yako had to give up her planned attempts to peek but the excitement within her was forcefully restrained. All she could do was wait for the baby shower tonight.

The Baby Shower

Inviting everyone in one by one at the door, Yako prepared trays of snacks across the kitchen counter along with Godai who was forced to steal a tuxedo as per Neuro's demands. "Butler! These peoples' shoes are dirty. Lick them clean!" the demon commanded.

"Screw you!" the gangster growled, returning to his work on the pastries. Yako watched in excitement and surprise as Godai tipped off the cream on one dish perfectly. He was able to roll the dough and bake it until it was absolutely perfect. "Godai, I'm surprised you can cook so well. Maybe you could be a chef!" she cheered.

"I would but…well...when I was in cooking school my friend was burnt in a bread explosion," Godai sniffed. "I can't really go back with a calm mind."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Ooh, brownies!"

"We're here!" Sai squealed, coming in through the door. Yako held her stomach as she ran ahead to him.

"Sai!" she whispered. "You have to disguise yourself or else Sasazuka will recognize you."

"Alright. Let me grow some facial hair. Oh, what about one of those long, curly moustaches?" Sai asked.

"No. Just look different."

"Okay. I'll make myself look older," Sai said, snapping his fingers as if it were magic. With unnatural ease he became taller, the same height as Neuro even. His hair grew, the bangs covering his face and a small goatee was added just for fun. Yako began to notice he looked like Sasazuka.

"Okay everybody!" Yako cheered. "I'm going to open all my presents!" Oddly enough they clapped for her. Sai wondered if he was supposed to and only did if Ai did.

"The first gift is from Higuchi," Yako read, opening the small box. "A breast pump and bottle set! Thank you!"

"The same one my parents used," Higuchi smiled. Everyone stared at him. "I'm just kidding. It's new."

"Let's see. This one is from Sasazuka. What the? Baby's First Cigarettes?!" Yako fussed.

"Yes." The officer muttered. "That's the gag gift. Here is the real one."

"Oh! A baby carriage and diaper can! Thank you so much Sasazuka!" Yako cheerfully replied.

"Open mine next!" Sai rushed, passing the wide box to Yako. Carefully untying the ribbon, she noticed a card attached to it. "From Sai and…I mean…um…Sainaru!" She had almost revealed his identity to Sasazuka. "From Sainaru and Ai, we hope your baby grows up healthy and strong. We offer you two presents, one is the box you're unwrapping and the other is a promise not to harm your baby. We love Yako! And Neuro…"

"Thank you for that Sai…I mean Sainaru," Yako sweetly smiled. "That means a lot. But I wonder what is in the box?" Pulling the top off, she could see dozens of toys inside! Sai had purchased dolls, balls, blocks, and those unusual machines that make random noises. "These are great!" Yako cheered.

"Yes. Our wallet will be saved temporarily," Neuro grinned.

Ai handed a small box of her own to Yako, smiling warmly. Whatever was inside it, Yako could tell it was a gift from the heart. Pulling the bow loose, she pulled out a small purple pajamas set on a hanger complete with red boxes as a pattern design. "Awww….thank you Ai. This is wonderful! I want this to be the first pajamas my baby wears."

"I'm glad you like it," Ai replied.

"I ain't got cash on me a lot so it was really hard for me to get this," Godai said, handing his present over to Yako. "Thank you Godai. And thank you for hosting the baby shower despite it being in our own office. The food is great."

"Yeah, yeah…" he blushed. "Just open the present."

"Let's see what you got us," Yako said. "Oh my god…that's so sweet of you Godai!"

"Yeah, yeah." He flustered, walking away from the scene.

"It's a baby photo album already engraved with the our names in it!" Yako smiled, showing everyone. "That's very kind of you Godai."

"And of course you can't forget your mother," Mrs. Katsuragi said.

"When did she get here?" Neuro asked. "Her lack of popularity has blinded her from our visions."

"I got you this. You don't remember but I saved it for you," her mother said. She handed Yako a bib, a rattle, and a warm, wool cap all with small ducks on them. "This is from when you were a baby."

"Oh….this is really nice. I always thought this was cute from the pictures. I'm surprised you still had it," Yako happily said.

"Of course. You're my only child."

"Time for my gift!" Kanae said. "I probably don't stick out a lot among the group of freak friends you made but here ya go!"

"Alright! A lobster!!" Yako cheered, already biting into it.

"No! That's a doll lobster!" Kanae explained, taking it back. "Baby wipes can come out of its claws and diapers can be stored inside its tail."

"Wow! That's a very useful gift!" Yako stated. "It's a shame there is no real lobster…."

"What about me?" Jun asked, apparently sitting next to his partner. "I got you Baby's First Action Figure Set!" Yako gazed over, it was a complete set of Neuro action figures. There was a plastic Yako. If you pressed the button on her back it would say "The criminal is you" and point. There were Neuro, Ai, Sai and Sasazuka toys with their own catchphrases.

Neuro: That's what Sensei said!

Sasazuka: I hate Jun.

Sai: Murder is fun!

Ai: Murderers are fun!

Jun: Love me! I'm your Uncle Jun!

Higuchi: I will give you the Raws to any anime when you grow up.

"It might be a year or two before the baby can actually enjoy these but thank you. "Yako said. "When it can I'm sure it will be happy. And I want to thank everyone for their charity, I really feel loved and valued with all these gifts and you coming here to wish me good luck. I'm glad my baby can grow up with such wonderful people around it."

"Time for baby shower games," Sasazuka calmly said, blowing a whistle.

"Wait! I gotta rub that stomach!" Jun cheered, leaping towards Yako. Sasazuka reached for his collar and pulled him back, hitting his head against the table.

"It's proper to ask if you can." Sasazuka explained. "Otherwise you are not to touch her stomach."

"I understand…"

"It's okay," Yako smiled. "Whoever wants to can, just be gentle. And since it's like a bird egg it won't kick or anything."

"Yes. Everyone line up and buy a ticket," Neuro advertised.

"Don't charge our guests!!"

One by one, everyone rubbed the large pouch that was Yako's belly, gently caressing it. Neuro explained how hard demon eggs could be, nearly as hard as rock so they didn't have to be so careful. They would actually be hurt if they ran into it or something.

The rubbing:

Ai: I can't wait to have one of my own.

Sai: How would that work I wonder…but it is smooth. Unbelievably smooth. I can rub it all day.

Sasazuka: It really adds a glow to you Yako.

Jun: Ah man. I can't even see myself having one of these in the future.

Kanae: I would worry about the weight you gain right after pregnancy…that's going to suck.

Mrs. Katsuragi: So this is how it feels to rub someone else.

Godai: Already got a chance to rub it but….I want to do it again. Damn, this is smooth.

Higuchi: Man…I want to get a girl pregnant. This is wonderful. But I still got a future ahead of me. I think I'll wait a little longer.

"Alright, time for the baby shower games!" Yako cheered. "Let's see…the first one is…Baby Food Test!"

"Baby food test? How do we play that?" Higuchi asked. Neuro gathered several baby food cans and placed them on the table, passing spoons to everybody.

"It's a human tradition for participants to taste baby food and guess the flavor," he explained.

"What's the prize?"

"Victory."

"Lame….but I'll do it."

Everyone took their baby food and took a taste. Ai and Sai were able to eat out of the same can. Jun wanted to share with his senpai but was rejected immediately. Yako dipped in the spoon and fed Neuro even after he first hesitated. "No cheating," she smiled. "But…this is so good." Before she knew it she had eaten the entire bottle.

Everyone watched in horror as she ate the rest clean off the table. "Games over I guess…" Higuchi sighed.

"Oh…sorry everybody. This baby food is really good. I guess my baby wanted to preview what it was going to eat when it comes out," she laughed.

No one believed her, she just wanted to eat all the baby food. "Well…um…time for the next game! The ribbon game!" she declared.

"How is that played?" Ai asked.

Neuro grabbed a bundle of ribbons and tossed them to the table. "We wrap the ribbon around Yako's stomach, first one to snap will be the next parent."

"I see," Sasazuka said. "I shall try then. Though isn't the goal to measure her stomach as well?"

"Yes. The person closest to wrapping the entire ribbon around her stomach wins but whoever's ribbon snaps is destined to be the next parent," the demon explained. Everyone grabbed their ribbon and began to cut it. Everyone lined up, wrapping their ribbons around her stomach. Most of them were too short but Higuchi came the closest. Neuro however, had his ribbon snap. "No…" he moaned. "I can't be a parent again….one child is enough."

"The next game is punching everyone in the throat," Neuro grinned.

"No it's not! Don't let him punch you in the throat!" Yako warned.

"But I think I can win!" Jun cheered.

"We can guess the birth date of the baby and the gender," Yako informed.

"Let's form a betting pool," Sasazuka said. "Everyone write up your bets. We'll all wager 100 and the winner gets it all."

"Don't gamble on my baby's birth!!" Yako fussed.

"I have an idea. Let's guess Yako's weight!" Higuchi offered, being slapped in return.

"The final treat for the night," Neuro said. "Will be the unveiling of the nest." Grabbing the walls, he slid them away. Everyone leaned over as Yako walked up to the curtain-covered nest. It was at least half the size of her in terms of height. Lifting the cover, she gasped in joy. "Neuro! It's…wonderful!"

With walls of soft blankets and a bottom made of flat yet cushiony pillows, Yako couldn't wait to try it out. Sitting down to try it out, she felt a cool breeze from inside the blanket. "Neuro…is this…insulation?"

"Of course!" she excitedly said, handing her a remote. "It's a heater/air conditioning unit. The snack bar is to the your left."

"This is amazing! And look! A storage space for blankets and everything! Neuro, this is better than I could have expected! You're a good bird!" she joyously praised, hugging him tightly.

"There's other features," he grinned. "But I'll let your human curiosity find them for you."

And with that, all gifts were well received, no one made it awkward for anyone or cracked horrible baby jokes that were in bad taste. Everyone simply had fun, enjoying the food Godai prepared and the conversation they shared.

Yako and Neuro later went to bed after everyone left. However, Yako, in the middle of the night, left the bed and stepped quietly into the office. Staring at the nest, she sat down in it, rubbing her stomach as she imagined how it would feel to have an egg near her at all times, something to hold and nurture. Losing to her drowsiness, she fell over and went to sleep, her hands swimming across her stomach. Neuro, noticing his second pillow-Yako- was missing from the bed, went in search of her, finding her asleep in the nest. "Excited is she?" Grabbing the blanket off the bed, he laid it across here and returned to the bedroom. "Good night Yako."


	25. Chapter 25

Men Can Fake Pregnancy?

With only a few weeks remaining until the egg would be laid, Neuro kept a close eye on Yako as her movements slowed and spent most of the day sitting. "My back hurts…" she moaned, holding it upright with both hands. Her stomach had grown twice its previous size, representing a truly pregnant woman. "I wish I could feel you kick inside me," she whispered. "But then again with Neuro's demon blood inside of you that it might be good that you don't kick." She then headed towards the couch, lying across it with a sigh of relief. "I wish it would hurry up and come out."

"Why are you complaining? Women with human babies have to deal with nine months of grief. You only have to deal with four and a half," Neuro pointed out.

"Rub my feet," she smiled. The demon sighed, removing his gloves before sitting on the arm of the couch. "I miss the good ol' days where I subtly hinted at a bondage fetish with my torture and abuse…" he said. "Then you got knocked up…"

"Hey! You knocked me up in the first place," Yako fussed. "But I'm happy. Everything has gone so well, especially with you and me."

"I agree, you are no longer tolerable but enjoyable," he smiled, dodging a shoe to the face.

"Hey. Am I still pretty?" she suddenly asked, striking fear into the demon's chest. No man desired to answer the obvious question nor ponder why women felt like they had to ask. Is any answer truly sufficient? Would it clear any doubt?! Isn't a lover's opinion just biased!? "Why do you ask?" Neuro calmly replied.

"You think I'm unattractive don't you?" Yako whined. "I knew it."

"_Wait. I knew this would come,"_ Neuro thought to himself. _"With all her complaints, juices, cravings, and now this enlarged stomach she's doubting herself."_

"You're prettier than ever," he smiled, pleased with is response. Clearly he didn't know women well enough. Such simplicity would not satisfy her. Yako looked at him with concern, that answer didn't do. He needed to reanalyze the situation. She feels insecure because of her sudden weight gain and biological disaster zone. "This belly of yours really gives you a lovely glow," he commented. "And you smell cleaner than ever."

A smile began to grow in her lips. He did good. "Hey…Neuro…maybe tonight…could be the night," she muttered.

"For what?"

"You know…the bedroom," she answered, pointing to it with her head. Naturally, like a reflex, he was all aboard for sex but he remembered what she said to him months ago. "I would love to Yako but don't I recall you saying you wanted to wait until marriage?"

"I know…but…I mean, do I really look pretty to you?"

"You need reassurance?"

"I'm sorry. I must seem pathetic," she sighed, turning over. Her feet slipped out of his grip, freeing him from the task.

"Indeed you do." He mercilessly responded. Leaning over her, he brushed her hair aside and whispered into her ear. "But you don't know how hard I'm fighting not to pick you up and tear you up in that bedroom." Excited simply from his words, she happily curled up on the couch, feeling secure once again.

"Now I'll have to keep myself busy before I actually do take you away," Neuro said, resting his head on his palm.

"You know what we can do to pass the time?" Yako rhetorically asked. "Trade hairstyles. Make my hair look like yours and I'll make yours look like mine."

"Isn't that what the fangirls want?"

"And some fanboys too," Yako noted.

"I have a better idea," Neuro grinned, pulling out his laptop. "Let's spoil Code Geass for people on 4Chan and other message boards."

"Yeah! We need to avenge me! I was on the other day and I learned that _Name Hidden_ gets killed! Code Geass is the kind of show you don't spoil! Like Death Note!" Yako argued.

"Let's make up some spoilers! Something that really doesn't occur," Neuro suggested.

"You know, I have a better idea," Yako devilishly grinned. "And if you do it for me I'll let you grope me tonight."

"What do you have in mind?"

Hours later…..

Sai and Ai burst into the office as usual, Sai swinging the door wide open and Ai calmly walking after him. "Good afternoon guys!" he happily greeted. Ai humbly bowed, sitting down on the couch with her lover. Neuro greeted them with a glance and returned to his typing. Yako stretched across the couch, holding her large stomach. "Are you okay Yako?" Sai asked.

"I'm fine," she said. "It's just that since my pregnancy is cut in half all the sensations and symptoms are experienced faster and all at once. I'm fine now. Neuro has been very helpful. Neuro…could you please get me a cup of tea."

"Of course," he said, walking to the refrigerator. Sai and Ai looked in utter shock as he walked by.

"Ai…are my eyes correct? You see it too right?" he asked.

"Yes…I'm afraid so." She replied. Neuro handed Yako the cup of tea, acting like his regular self despite the fact that he too was now pregnant. His stomach was already round and fat like Yako's.

"This is like some terrible fanfiction!" Sai panicked. "I hope I don't get pregnant!!"

"Oh!" Yako grinned. "That's just an empathy belly." Ai took another look at Neuro. She noticed he now had a pair of breasts as well.

"I've never heard of empathy bellies," she said.

"It's a body suit design to simulate pregnancy," Yako explained. "I learned about it on the internet. It even feels like a baby's moving inside too! And it came with fake swollen breasts!"

"Can I squeeze them?" Sai excitedly asked.

"You may," Neuro invited.

"Why are you doing this anyway?" Ai asked, watching as Sai ran over to violate Neuro's new chest with his fingers.

"It's just for fun," Yako said. "And I want him to experience the wrath of pregnancy! I promised he could grope me later."

"You use that trick too?" Ai pleasantly asked. "I offer that to Sai when I want him to do something. It always works. He's really like an innocent child. He loves my ch-"

"I'm going to poke Neuro's breasts with a needle!" Sai cheered.

"That's one demented child…" Yako muttered. "But it's been really nice having you two over like this. I really enjoy the visits."

"Thank you. I enjoy the company," Ai kindly said.

"You are the best terrorist and mutant serial killer I have ever met," Yako smiled.

Neuro began to lift his shirt, shaking his body suit around. "Yes. I am one of those fun-loving college girls!"

"Let me get a camera and record it for money!" Sai cheered.

"Cut that out!" Yako fussed. "You give a man a woman's body and that's what he does with it?"

"My back feels fine," Neuro said. "I'm sure the birth will be painless as well. And I get treated like royalty? Yes, this is the life you spoiled girl."

"You don't have to deal with morning sickness!"

"I have to look at you don't I?"

"Hey!"

"Excellent comeback," Ai complimented.

"Thank you," Neuro bowed.

"Hey!" Sai playfully bantered. "I don't pay you to talk Neuro! Take off your shirt and show me the goods!"

"Anything you say intimidating camera man!" Neuro playfully cheered, lifting his suit up to reveal his body suit. "Promise you won't put this on the internet."

"Ahahahaha!!" Sai hollered. "Sure, innocent girl! How about you have a few drinks from my personal van?"

"Anything you say. Tee hee."

"Their role playing is scary…" Yako muttered. "Will I really be like that when I go to college?"

"You plan to go to college?" Ai asked. "Won't the baby take up a lot of your time?"

"I suppose you're right. Getting pregnant early was a mistake but…there's still online classes and after the baby is born I'm sure Neuro can take care of it while I'm at school."

"Assume I have nothing to do huh?" Neuro remarked, taking off his body suit.

"You clearly don't with all the adult-rated fun you're having with that suit…"

"Ai? Do you think I could be a good camera man?" Sai suddenly asked. "We could go college to college and film foolish women and the sexually independent."

"I suppose we can try that for a while," Ai calmly replied. "But you'll get bored of it like you do with everything else."

"I'm not bored of you," Sai smiled, coming over with his arm around her shoulder.

"So when is the baby due?" Ai asked.

"In a few weeks. We plan to deliver it here. We have a bed ready for whenever it happens."

"A home delivery? I guess in your case you have no choice This isn't a Stephen King novel where demon babies can be born without question," Ai explained. "Do you need any help in delivery? I have some experience with this."

"Yes! That would be perfect!" Yako cheered. Her only choice would have been Sasazuka or her mother, both being awkward. "Thank you!"

"We should probably live here in during the last week right?" Sai asked, putting on Neuro's body suit. He began to jump into the air, bouncing the artificial pregnancy stomach with enthusiasm.

"I'm okay with that but where would you sleep? The couch isn't a pull out," Yako asked.

"I can turn into a couch," Sai informed. Yako was shocked, she would have never guessed that. "I'm just kidding."

"I'll bring a futon," Ai stated. "Maybe we could stay up all night and talk."

"It would be great to have another woman to talk to! I have so many things to complain about concerning Neuro! Then you could complain about Sai and we can all laugh and giggle!" Yako happily said.

"I will enjoy that. I was never invited to slumber parties when I was in high school. Never had a chance to practice kissing with my fellow girls or talk about my insecurities or compare sizes and frolic in the bath with each other," Ai sighed.

"Well…I don't know how much of that I'm willing to do but I'm sure we will still have fun!"

"Well, if I transform into Ai it'll be like she was reliving her high school years," Sai offered, instantly being rejected by both women. "Why were your high school years so eventless Ai?"

"I blew up the school," Ai muttered.

"Wow…"

Author: Seriously people, don't spoil Code Geass deaths by naming your board "Memorial for…..Insert Name." I wouldn't have guessed that person would get killed. Such a kind and undeserving person. I hated it when I figured out L would die only a few episodes before he actually died! The greatest moment in Death Note was ruined for me…maybe some reviews would cheer me up. I'm just kidding. Wouldn't hurt though.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26: Anytime Now!

The last week came quickly, bringing Sai and Ai over for the remainder of the time left until the actual birth. The baby was due any minute, with such an unstable schedule Neuro remained inside the office most of the day. Sai brought over his Playstation 3 and hooked it up to the television. "Come on Ai! Let's play a two player game!" he called. Ai didn't answer back. "Where is she?" He rose from the floor and opened the bathroom door. Ai and Yako were both in the bubbly bathtub with towels on top of their heads. "What are you two doing?" he asked.

"Hey!! Get out of here you pervert!!" Yako fussed, throwing soap at him.

"Yes, you hooligan. Leave immediately!" Ai calmly replied, ripping the towel rack off and beating him with it. Yako held her back, pulling her back into the tub.

"That's going too far," Yako suggested. "Sorry Sai. We were talking about things high school girls do like getting seen by a boy in the bathroom."

"I reacted too much," Ai bowed, apologizing to the beaten boy on the ground. "I was supposed to squeal and cover myself with a towel right?"

"Yep!"

"Hey Neuro, want to play…never mind," Sai moaned, realizing the demon was fast asleep. He had nothing to do since he couldn't leave the office and he closed the business down until Yako gave birth. Sleeping was one of the few things to do while Yako and Ai became best friends. Yako splashed Ai, making her bangs cover her eyes. "I can't wait. The egg will be out anytime now," she smiled. "I'll take so long to wait for the egg though."

"It will be a shame to lose the glow in your face," Ai commented. "You are really beautiful with it."

"Thank you. Do you plan to have any children in the future?" Yako asked.

"Yes. I rather surprise Sai with it though. He is better under pressure," she explained. "But I can't begin to imagine how the baby would look like."

"Which would you rather raise? A boy or a girl?" Yako asked.

"I would prefer a little girl," Ai blushed. "I would treat her a lot better than I was."

"Was your childhood bad?" Yako carefully asked.

"It was…unique." Ai muttered. "I was born on a ship in the Bermuda Triangle during a dreadful hurricane. The boat was struck by lightning and began to sink. I fell into the ocean only to be saved by a dead whale that floated by. I was discovered by terrorists and raised as a kamikaze fighter but blew the camp up to free myself. Ironically I became a terrorist once again because I knew no other way to live." Yako was jaw dropped. What a life. Ai unexpectedly giggled. "I'm sorry," she said. "That was a joke. I enjoyed a normal life."

"Oh…well…I only fell for it because of all the strange things I've dealt with," Yako defended. "Now for typical high school girl conversation. Offer to clean my back and I'll pretend to be nervous and hesitant to accept your offer."

"Okay. May I wash your back for you?" Ai offered, holding up her washcloth.

"O-okay….if you don't mind." Ai nodded, washing Yako's back softly. "Now we talk about our excitement and curiosity over having intimate and romantic moments with men."

"Yes. I have had lots of sex with Sai. Sometimes we like to role play and the uke and seme is usually switched between us but the positions are usually determined by-"

"Wait, wait, wait! High school girls don't talk like ol' sex pros! They're supposed to be innocent but curious, nervous to discuss such things but still listen," Yako panicked. "And you sure are direct about your experiences."

"What are they talking about in there?" Sai wondered, keeping his ears close to the door. "I heard the magic word and role playing but…"

Neuro listened as well, keeping his ear attached to the door with a grin stretched across his face.

Ai washed her arm when she suddenly noticed an unusual look on Yako's face, she was twitching and holding herself between the legs. "Yako, what's the matter?" she asked.

"My water broke!" Yako exclaimed, standing out of the shower.

"You're laying an egg but your water broke?" Ai asked in disbelief.

"It's weird for me! Neuro!" Yako called out, grabbing a towel. "Wait! Let me get dressed! Oh! Do I even have time?! Come on in! Wait! No! Let me get dressed first! Is there enough time?!"

"I'm going in," Neuro told Sai, opening the door and sliding into the bathroom. He made sure not to look at Ai who covered herself with a towel. Neuro grabbed came in with a blanket in his arms and wrapped it around Yako, lifting her up and taking her into the bedroom. "Don't trip Neuro!" Yako warned.

"If you'll say I'll trip I will trip," he nervously grinned, kicking open the bedroom door and laying her across the bed. Ai came out of the shower with nothing but a towel loosely wrapped around her. Sai looked, wondering what she would do. The woman let go of the towel, exposing her naked body. "Is this the right time for sex?" Sai asked.

"No. I need to hurry and put on my clothes. I have to deliver the ba….I mean egg," she said, grabbing her purple vest and dress. Sai wrapped the apron around her and handed her the gloves. "Time to help a fellow woman."

Coming into the room, she could see Yako grunting as she held tightly onto Neuro's hand. Ai grabbed a wheeled chair and moved to the bottom of the bed. "Yako, are you ready?" Ai asked.

"Yes."

"Okay. Just pace yourself. These contractions could span for days so you shouldn't worry," Ai informed.

"For how long?!" Yako yelled.

"No need to worry. This is a fanfic. We can speed rush if necessary but it usually takes a day or less."

Doctor Ai's explanation on Childbirth:

"Pay attention. The birth stage is cut into three stages. The Contractions, The Delivery, and The Placenta. We are in the Contractions part where her body prepares and readies itself for the baby-or in this case, the egg's-delivery. Yako has actually already had contractions weeks ago and is leaving the Latent Stage, the prestage before the true birth begins. The real contractions are coming which should only last a few hours, around 7 or 8."

"Okay, the cervix is 3 centimeters dilated," Ai reported. "We're going into the first stage."

"What's the cervix?" Neuro asked. "How complicated can she be inside?"

"The cervix is a part of her, below the uterus where the baby is made," she explained.

"You mean the child was never actually in her stomach?" Neuro asked.

"It grows so large that it causes the stomach to expand so in a way it is," Ai answered. "Okay, turn away. You might not want to see what comes out of her during this time."

"I'm a demon," he grinned. "I've seen worst. What's coming out of my woman?!"

"It's the mucus plug, it blocks the cervix," Ai said. "It has a little blood in it, that's normal. This has been what keeps the egg sealed in her and not just falling out. Okay, she's 5 centimeters dilated."

"Dilated? That's when she is opening up correct?"

"Yes…that's one way to put it. But…Yako, I'm afraid to inform you about something," Ai stated.

"Wha…what is it?" Yako grunted.

"Since eggs don't grow this means the egg will have to be big enough to wrap around an already baby-sized child," Ai started.

"What does that mean?"

"Think of it like this. Women give birth to a baby, this can sometimes be painful as a creature is now coming out of your body. Now imagine if it was inside of a large object, making it bigger," Ai carefully explained.

"What does it all mean?!"

"It means that you will be giving birth to a large egg and it will hurt more than most pregnancies."

"Oh my god!! Neuro! Why did you do this to me?!" Yako fussed.

"Yes. Blame the father when it's time to give to actually push the demon spawn out," Neuro sighed. Suddenly he felt her fingers snap on tighter to his. The egg was coming out.

"She's entering the second stage earlier than I thought. Give me some room," Ai said, helping Yako pass the egg to the best of her ability.

"Just do a fantasy sequence to ignore the pain," Neuro suggested. "Like in the good ol' chapters."

Slowly the black egg came out, decorated with green and purple lines. "It's…beautiful," Neuro said in awe. Ai carefully placed her hands under the warm egg until it was completely out.

"Aaaaaahhhhhh!!" Yako loudly moaned, feeling herself ache from the delivery.

"It's a black egg," Ai said, confused on what else to call it.

"Let…let…let me hold it," Yako said, stretching her arms. Ai carefully passed it over to her, staying near her side the entire time. Yako began to smile, holding the warm egg in her arms. She ignored how strange this sight was, she had just given birth! Neuro gazed at the joyous smile on her face and the gently rubbed the egg. "Our baby," Yako cheered. "Our baby is in here! Waiting for us!"

"Yes it is," he said, warmly smiling. "My baby. I can't wait to feed it and hold it." Ai waited a few minutes to allow the couple to embrace the moment. In the meantime she grabbed the pillowed basket and placed the egg in it, wrapping heated blankets around it and carefully placing it on its own small table. "Okay, it's time for the final stage," Ai said. "The placenta stage. Her placenta is going to come out along with a small amount of blood. Your body needs to dispose of this excess waste."

"Okay. Hurry please," Yako said, laying back. She held Neuro's hand and smiled at him sweetly. "Our baby's waiting."

Sai stood outside of the room, feeling lonely. "Sai," Ai said, taking off her gloves."You may come in and see the egg now."

"It's about time," he said, walking into the room. Neuro and Yako sat close together on the bed, holding the basket with great care. The egg was rock hard though but that didn't change a thing. "Can I touch it?" Sai asked. Yako nodded. He gently caressed it, feeling a smile leak into his face. "This is pretty warm." Neuro smiled as Ai removed her apron. "I've done a final check, Yako is fortunate enough to not suffer from any postnatal disorders or depression. She will be fine," Ai reported. "Naturally sex is off for a while."

"Who needs sex?" Yako excitedly remarked. "I have some egg laying too take care of!"

"That's easy for you to say…" Neuro replied. "Let me help you into your wheelchair."

Pushing her into the office, she gasped as Neuro set the egg down into the soft nest. He then lifted her up and placed her next to it, wrapping them both in blankets. "Is everything suitable?" Neuro asked.

"Yes. Everything's wonderful!" Yako brightly gleamed, wrapping her arms around the egg. "Are you sure there's no way I can hurt it?"

"There's two layers of durable rock that composes the egg. No human can break it," Neuro happily explained. "You could throw it if you had the lack of heart."

"I'm just so happy to hold it at long last," she said. The egg had small pockets along it's side for collecting and transferring warmth into and around the egg so she had to stay close at all times.

"Come on Sai, we should leave these two alone," Ai whispered. "We can go home and watch adult anime."

"Sure. See you guys later," Sai waved as the two left. "Congratulations on the egg."

"Neuro, I'm really happy," she smiled. "I want to love this baby as much as I can. I wish it were out right now."

"Well, the best things are the ones you have to wait for," he happily replied. "It'll be a long 4 and a half months."

"It'll be worth it," she squealed, nestling down into her nest. "At least the pregnancy is over. Now we just need to wait for the hatching. Hopefully the author will just skip through all that and not write another 26 chapters."

"Yes. Sometimes it's best to stick to a low amount instead of dragging everything out," Neuro grinned. "Like certain shonen anime I know."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27: How Long Will This Fanfic Last?!

Quietly sitting in her nest, Yako fanned herself as she curled the blankets tighter around her and the egg. Today there was a heatwave and the air conditioner conveniently broke down the second Yako had checked the weather report. Neuro began his handy work, tearing it apart and examining every piece and its function. "How's the AC coming Neuro?" Yako asked.

"We need a new one," he said.

"I'm sorry you guys have to suffer with me," Yako apologized, looking at Sai and Ai on the couch, waving their own fans.

"It's no problem," Ai calmly replied. "My only fear is that Sai may take his clothes off."

"I can't help myself," Sai said. "It's so hot. I wish I could turn into an air conditioner."

"I really need a fan at least. This nest has become a prison," Yako sighed, hearing her fan snapped apart in her hand. "Oh crap…"

"Yo," Godai said, stepping into the office. "I brought a fan."

"How utterly random yet perfect!" Yako cheered. "My baby and I are saved! Neuro's making me burn to death!"

"How else could I get back into the fanfic?" Godai smiled, placing the fan next to her. She turned and placed her face in front as he plugged it in. The blades began to move and the glorious touch of wind came. So did the smell of smoke and burnt metal. "It's on fire!!" Yako screamed, wrapping her arms around the egg. "Neuro! Save your lover and baby!"

"777 Tools of the Demon World! Evil Meteorite!"

"No!! That's overdoing it!!"

"Just kidding." Neuro said, grabbing the fan and breaking it in half. He then tossed it to Godai, kicking his slave to the ground. "I will rush to the store and get a new one." As he spoke he made sure to kick Godai repeatedly for his flaws. "Godai will be overjoyed to come with me."

"Damn it! Get your foot out of my mouth!!"

"Which hole should I put it in then?" Neuro innocently asked.

"We'll be right back!" Neuro waved, dragging Godai down the building stairs.

"Now that the chaos is over, why did you invite me?" Ai asked. Yako began to smile, glowing red from the imprisoned squeals bubbling inside of her.

"I want you to help me plan the wedding!" she happily yelled out, bringing out a large book.

"Are you sure you don't want Neuro to be the one to assist?" Ai asked, hiding her excitement to help. Yako shook her head.

"It's okay. You and I will decide the basic stuff. Favors, invitations, heh heh, food preparations," Yako chuckled. "There's not that many people who I can invite though…"

"Let's see….Godai, my mom, Kanae, Sasazuka, you and Sai….wait….Sai, for the wedding please disguise yourself. I can't imagine what would happen if you and Sasazuka met," Yako warned. "There's also…I can't invite Aya, there's Jun and Higuchi. Maybe I should invite Sasazuka's friends Usui and Tsukushi….no, that doesn't feel right."

"Perhaps we can start with the marriage license," Ai said. "Where is it?"

"Marriage…license?" Yako asked. She then pulled out her cell phone. "Neuro? Could you go down to the government district and pick us up a marriage license? Good. Thank you. Love you. There Ai. All done."

"Excellent. Shall I reward you with some type of snack?"

"That would be wonderf…no. What's next?" Yako grunted.

"Your invitations and you need to select your best man and maid of honor."

"That's right," Yako muttered, pondering on the decision. Neuro suddenly walked into the office with an air conditioner and the marriage license form in hand. "Good! Hurry up and plug it in!"

"What have you been doing here egg monster?" Neuro asked, tearing off the rusted air conditioner and placing the new one into the wall. Yako sweetly smiled, her lips curled in pleasure.

"I'm just planning our wedding," she said. "I was hoping to have it after the baby was born."

"That is fine," Neuro said, waving the form in his hands as he sat next to Yako on the couch. He looked at the notepad on the table and could see the Best Man and Maid of Honor slots empty. "How will this work out?"

"I will select the Maid of Honor," Yako said. "You can choose the Best Man."

"Who will you choose?" Ai asked, secretly hoping she was at least considered. Yako smiled and rose from the cushions, walking over to Ai and holding her hands.

"Even though we've only been friends for about four months you feel like family to me," Yako happily noted. "And even more than that, you delivered my baby…I mean egg. Ai, will you be my Maid of-"

"Yes!" Ai joyously exclaimed. Everyone stared in shock. Looking at them she swept her loose bangs back and cleared her throat. "Sorry about that. Yes, I would be more than happy to."

"And what about me?" Sai excitedly asked. Neuro smirked, not even looking back.

"You've tried to kill me multiple times and helped little with the baby," the demon explained. "Despite our friendship, the Best Man doesn't matter to me as much since I have relatively few human friends or close relationships. The Best Man will be someone who is important to Yako."

"Hey, I tried to kill you, her fiancé! That sounds important to me," Sai fussed.

"I'm sorry Sai. As much as I would love you to be the Best Man, we're not really that close and…it's really nothing against you," Yako gently put. "There's just other people who I've known for a longer time."

"I see…" Sai moped, plopping onto the couch. Ai wanted to comfort him but what good was comforting words from the Maid of Honor? Godai leaned against the wall smiling. Who else could be the Best Man but him?

"Alright, alright. I'll do it," he victoriously grinned.

"Shut your trap I've already selected," Neuro said, opening the front door. "I shall inform them of the news immediately."

Sasazuka had to put his cigarette down. "You want me to be the Best Man?"

"Yes. It is Yako's as well as my fond wish to grant you the title. You've watched over her and assisted her many times. It would be our pleasure to have you as the Best Man," Neuro kindly insisted. Sasazuka didn't know what to say except "I'll do it."

"Sasazuka has agreed," Neuro reported, walking back into the office.

"You chose Sasazuka? That's great!" Yako cheered, glad to see Neuro had chosen the perfect individual. His ability to relate to human emotions has grown impressively. "I've also chosen the ring carrier and flower girl," the demon added. "Godai, ring carrier."

"You mean…well…good," he gangster snorted proudly. Neuro then turned to Sai.

"Sai, flower girl."

"Alright!" Sai cheered. "I'm the flower girl!"

"That means you'll have to disguise yourself as a girl," Yako mumbled, not realizing how often Sai actually did that. "Now that everything is settled about that kind of stuff, Neuro let's sign the marriage license! Ai and Sai, will you please be our witness?"

"Absolutely," Ai nodded, walking over the two as they sat next to each other. Neuro forged a pen from the dark energy within him and Yako grabbed a normal pen. They both smiled at each other before finally signing their names. "It's now official!" Yako cheered. "It'll take a few days for it to be registered so turn it in now."

Neuro grabbed it and headed towards the door. Yako looked over at all the smiling faces in the office, each person now had their own role in their wedding. Suddenly it hit Yako. "Neuro! I want to ask you something before you go," she said. The demon looked at her, curious about what she was thinking. Yako wasn't sure how to carefully to ask him, it had to be a sensitive topic. She decided to take the risk. If he were to be her husband she had to at least ask this question. "Neuro, don't you have any family you want to invite?"

"No. We puzzle eaters aren't born with families," he replied.

"Oh…sorry."

"That's why we make our own," he grinned, leaving the office.

"He has a way with words sometimes," Ai commented. "Unlike my lover."

Sai's Quirky and Inappropriate Comments at Home:

"Ai! Let's have sex!"

"Ai, let's have some sloppy sex!"

"I'll only eat breakfast if sex is on the menu!"

"If I were really a girl do you think I would be a pretty one?"

"If I were a girl could we still have sex?"

"I'm hungry. Time for midnight sex."

Ai shook her head with a smirk. "Sai likes to skip on the romance and head straight for the best part," she noted. "It's unusual to live with at first but you get used to it."

"Invitations!!" Yako squealed. "I already have a design! Let's do it in Photoshop. Can you help me Ai?"

"Of course. Let me get you the laptop." The invitations were designed to represent both Yako and Neuro so Yako prepared a creation that would symbolize their union. The invitations were lovely, printed with high quality ink on soft paper, each name was hand written. Neuro did half, Yako did half. The demon was impressed with her, the artwork was perfect. Each letter was edged with lovely black roses and decorated with small cycloptic, winged eyeballs. "A blend of beauty and terror," he grinned. "Now for the reception."

"Shouldn't this kind of planning and stuff take weeks?" Sai asked, hanging over the edge of the couch.

"Yes but we don't have that kind of time in a fanfic," Yako smiled. "Just assume this covers the span of weeks and weeks of planning. Now for the reception!"

"Ai, how much does a wedding cost anyway?" Sai asked.

"Usually around 30,000," she calmly said.

"What?! You're lying!" Sai said in disbelief.

"That is the usual average," she replied, helping prepare the envelopes. "We are wealthy so there is no issue."

"Yes. For us meager detectives such fees are difficult to scrape up," Neuro innocently said. "Luckily Godai has been selling his body on the streets for old businessmen's money."

"Don't make up shit!!" Godai shouted.

"We've used Godai's information company to pull out more than enough money," Neuro explained. "And while Yako will stay at home taking care of the baby she will attend online college classes. I will solve mysteries and earn the agency money by pretending to be communicating with her from far away."

"You have this all planned out," Ai said. "But I didn't know Godai owned an information company."

"That's because you only watched the anime," Sai said. "In the manga he does."

"I should read the manga. In the anime I only had one scene and that was watching me walk for a few seconds," Ai sighed.

"Alright! Let's put all this depression away and continue with the plans!" Yako cheered.

"Yes, no point in talking about who got more screen time, who didn't show up at all or what was edited out despite the huge amount of blood," Neuro playfully said.

"That's cruel…" Ai muttered.

Author: I'm planning on a few more chapters and that's it. Seriously, this lasted a lot longer than I expected, not that I'm not thrilled. This has turned out pretty good in my opinion. Hopefully the next chapter will be the baby birth, the wedding and honeymoon. Who knows what the last chapter will be if there's even one. Also, thanks a lot to Unknown D Flamerose for the awesome banner featuring a drawn picture of the couple's egg. I will make sure to put that somewhere good! Oh and sorry about the late update. All my stories are being updated late due to some problems at home. Read my profile for a more detailed apology.


	28. Chapter 28

Yako's Joke

Chapter 28: Secrets and Babies

Egg Tutorial:

To clear up any mishaps about Yako's egg here's how it works. The egg is made of smooth rock with black and green designs on it. The rock has miniature spores that will absorb warmth and transfer that heat through the egg to maintain the baby. Now here's the new information-to be honest I never really thought about it until now. Since the baby will be born human due to the dense air it will not have the strength to crack the egg. The spores will be able to weaken the rocks by pumping some of the heat into the rocks. By the end of the four months the rock shell will simply slide apart, allowing the baby perfect freedom to come out.

"The author sure is creative with this egg anatomy…" Yako said, holding her egg closely. Every once in a while she had to get out and stretch. Neuro had explained to her the importance of a mother's warmth to the egg; bodily heat was somehow different from regular mechanically produced heat. The baby needed her close which is why she diligently stayed in the nest with it. Ai and Sai had moved out after the birth, no longer needed for anything. Their visits were frequent though and their company was wonderful.

"It's been four and a half months! Where's my baby?!" Yako whined, holding the blanket-wrapped egg as she plopped backwards in the nest. "Neuro…make the baby come out."

"What do you suggest? I rip it out? If you're so hungry I'll get you something," the demon replied.

"I'm not going to eat the baby! I just want it to come out. I want to hold it and put it in the bed with us…besides," she victoriously grinned. "You don't get to have sex until our wedding and we can't have the honeymoon until the baby is born."

"Trying to hold that stick body as blackmail?" Neuro grinned. "You're just poking the bear. Once that honeymoon comes and I show you the true ferocity of a demon, you'll beg to be back in that nest!"

"You sure are cocky. I just hope you stay that way in bed," Yako chuckled.

"A pun? You truly are Japanese…" Neuro frowned. "In Hell puns are punishable by death."

"In Hell you give births to weird colored eggs and build nests." Yako snorted. She then wrapped her arms around the egg and hugged it gently. "But I love my egg!"

"I'll fix you some scrambled eggs for breakfast," Neuro said, walking to the kitchen.

"That's sick!" Yako fussed. "I'm not hungry anyway, just anxious. I really want to hold the baby. I know it's going to be a girl."

"And how do you know human-of-little-talents?"

"We women have intuition. My baby will be a girl," Yako smiled. "And as we already decided chapters ago, her name will be Aya."

"No Kaito?"

"No Kaito. That's a boy's name and our baby will definitely be a girl." Yako confidently declared, rubbing the egg. She then felt the shell slowly move underneath her palm.

Crack "Oh my god!! I broke it!! I broke the egg!!" Yako panicked. "Neuro!! Use your magic to fix it!!"

"It's not broken…it's hatching!" he happily declared as he ran to the nest. Yako's panic shifted to excitement as she grasped the situation. The anticipating smile in the demon's face told her this was a good thing. She inched away as the egg's rocky shell slid apart. Yako focused, praying inside her head. _"Please don't have a beak; please don't have a beak…"_

Neuro prayed too. _"Love puzzles. Love PUZZLESSS!!"_ The baby's few blonde hairs could be seen poking out of the egg. Yako placed her hands over her mouth as she watched. Suddenly a small squeal came from the egg and Yako could see two large green eyes looking back at her. "Oh my god…..our baby….our baby is born!!" she sweetly said, moving the shell back and reaching into it. She felt the smooth, wet skin of her baby and carefully picked it up from the shell. She grabbed one of the blankets and began to dry the baby off. Its cheeks were silk soft and round, its hands small and its feet just as tiny. "Neuro, it's a girl!" Yako cheered.

"A girl?" he said in surprise. "That means her name will be-"

"Aya. Aya Nougami," Yako gently blushed, rocking the baby slowly. "Our baby! Right out of an egg. Just like a gift box."

Aya then began to wiggle about, crying in Yako's arms. Its hands began to squeeze her chest. Neuro grinned. "You know what she wants," he smiled. "Take that shirt off!"

"Don't taint a special moment between baby and mother," Yako snooted, lifting her shirt up. The baby headed straight for the nipple, nursing from her new mother greedily. "Geez! She sure loves to drink milk!"

"Maybe instead of looking for mysteries she'll look for breast, or breast milk," Neuro chuckled, rubbing the baby's head. "A perverted baby!"

"She sure sucks loudly," Yako sweetly said, holding the baby closer. "But this means I was right about the girl stuff."

"One point for you, a trillion for me," Neuro grinned, keeping his eyes on the baby. Who would have guessed she would have come into this world ready to eat? It must be from whatever mutant gene made Yako so gluttonous.

"We have to be careful Neuro," Yako said. "This baby is going to take over our lives for the next few years. I want Aya to feel all the love she deserves."

"Yes, I've already prepared her Baby's First Torture Chamber," Neuro said. "She'll need to learn how to keep you in your place as early as possible."

"Shh…" Yako whispered, holding the baby close. The suckling could be heard, the baby coughed a little but Yako patted her back. When Aya was done, Yako lifted her onto her shoulders and patted her back until she heard the burp. The baby threw up a little, as they both had expected and read in books. Neuro pulled his hands out and opened his arms, Yako nodding in response, handing him the baby.

"Aya," he said. "My little girl."

"Are you blushing?" Yako smiled.

"No. There's lava in my cheeks," he said.

"I know that's a lie."

"We're here," Ai said, walking in with Sai and Godai.

"Shh!" Yako looked over the crib with Neuro, watching their baby sleep in her pajamas that Ai gave them. "Aya's sleeping."

"The baby is here?" Ai said in surprise. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"It just hatched," Yako smiled, caressing the baby's soft head as Neuro cradled it.

"You named it after a murderer?" Sai asked.

"It's still a wonderful name," Yako said. "But isn't she beautiful?"

"She is enchanting," Ai said. "It makes me want one of my own." Sai grunted, catching onto the hint. "Hopefully I'll forget what you say," he said. "By mutating my cells." Ai grinned.

"Maybe I'll forget to take my birth control pill before I seduce you into my trap," she replied. Sai couldn't respond to that. No man could.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Yako said, quickly running towards one of the boxes she kept close to the nest. She pulled out the pajamas Ai and Sai had given them during the baby shower. "I wanted this to be the first pajamas Aya would wear. She looks adorable!"

"Did you put her diaper on first?" Ai asked.

"Crap….strip the baby down Neuro," Yako sighed.

"I love it when you talk dirty," he grinned. He stepped aside, allowing Yako to place the diaper on the baby but she stood in her place with a devilish grin, handing him the diaper.

"You do it new daddy," she playfully suggested. "Let's see if all those baby classes paid off."

"It's only natural you would test me," he said. "But this will be simple. There!"

"Impressive. Now change Aya's diaper."

"Hmm? She's already…."

"Yep. Babies are regular crap machines," Yako smirked.

"That explains you," the demon said, unwrapping the diaper and pulling out the baby wipes.

"Well, this sure is a surprise," Sai said. "Never thought you'd end coming to earth and doing something like this."

"It is a huge loss of time but the ultimate mystery can wait. Aya needs her father to explain how to destroy cities," the demon said, smiling as he held the baby in the air, feeling and unusual sense of accomplishment and pride. Tears began to roll down the baby's face.

"Stop scaring it with your demon face!" Yako fussed, taking Aya back into her arms. The baby clawed at her shirt and Yako sighed in resignation. "I guess she was just hungry again…" she said, lifting her shirt up. "Drink up you little monster. Drain your mommy bone dry."

"It should be okay, I'm sure how much you eat somehow affects how much milk you produce," Sai casually said.

"Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing," Ai noted. "It helps the baby digest and provides numerous health benefits that formula can't."

"That explains why I'm so healthy," Sai grinned.

"Uh….Sai….what does that mean?" Yako fearfully asked. "Where and why would you be drinking breast milk?" Ai started to glow red, turning her face away. "Sai….maybe you should be quiet for a while," the woman suggested.

"Ye-yeah…" he nervously muttered. "I said too much."

"Ai….have you ever been pregnant before?" Yako asked.

"No. There are many women who can produce milk without giving birth," Ai explained.

"Wow! That's amazing!" Yako exclaimed. "I never knew that!"

"What the hell?! Aren't we worried about who's chest Sai is sucking off of?" Godai ignorantly yelled. "He might be having an affair."

"You imbecile…" Neuro moaned. "He has a milk fetish and Ai is able to-"

"We should end this chapter here!" Ai quickly said.


	29. Chapter 29

Yako's Joke

Chapter 29: The End! It's Actually Over!

"Is everyone ready?" Ai asked, standing in the middle of the chapel. It was the night before the wedding and everyone managed to show up to the rehearsal where Ai took charge, following Yako's list on where to place everyone. The Katsuragi family was mostly seated to the left of the chapel with Neuro's acquaintances, fellow detectives and oddly enough villains on the right side. Knowing how to stand properly and to look at the bride and groom were essential. It also served as an efficient reminder for those who forgot when the wedding was.

Family had to be seated first. Yako could only sigh as her mother walked down the aisle perfectly, holding the photo of her dead husband in her hands. "That's a little weird…" Yako mumbled to herself. "But I guess I can understand how she feels."

The blonde girl then looked at Neuro's empty section where his parents should have been. Unfortunately he had explained earlier that he no longer had any family. "Are you sure there's no one from the demon world you want to invite?" Yako asked, holding his hand as they stood before the risen crowd at the room's entrance.

"I'm positive," he said. "Besides, I made no real connections to anyone in the demon world."

The music then began to play. "Oh! We have to walk!" Yako exclaimed, seeing Godai and Ai along with the remaining bride's party and groomsmen already at the altar. Yako's escort wrapped his arm around hers, slowly taking her up stage. "I want to thank you for doing this," Yako smiled. "Escorting me I mean."

"It's my pleasure…" Sasazuka calmly said. "I know I cannot replace your father."

"Thank you for watching over me."

The two were at the altar. It was time for Neuro, he grinned as he slammed opened the doors and began his walk to the altar. Once he stood before her, Yako sighed in relief. _"Thank God. I was hoping he wouldn't do anything stupid….oh no! What if he has something planned for the actual wedding!! That monster!"_

The minister practiced the speech and the ceremony ended perfectly. Everyone left in an orderly manner as instructed, making sure to remember their assignment for tomorrow. "That was great!" Yako cheered. "Our wedding is going to be perfect! Especially without any pranks or poor attempts at wit!"

"If you're implying I'll pull anything you're wrong," Neuro grinned, snapping his glove against his wrist. "Weddings are a rare opportunity in life. The least I can do is let it occur without interference."

"Here's your baby!" Sai cheered, handing the couple the baby seat. Aya giggled, swinging her arms about. Once she caught sight of her mama she immediately reached out, wanting freedom from her prison of seatbelts and cushions. Yako kneeled down and released her daughter, placing the blonde hair baby against her chest. "Aya is sucking the life force out of me!"

"It's weird having your baby at your own wedding isn't it?" Sai bluntly asked.

"It'll be a little odd but I just hope the baby's asleep during most of the ceremony. Sasazuka will place her in the car before we run out of the church to make it easier for us," Yako explained.

"Sai, we have to go home and get ready for tomorrow," Ai said, coming up to the small group. She passed back Yako the schedule for the wedding ceremony. "I hope I sufficed."

"You were wonderful. Thank you so much for organizing everything," Yako gratefully said. "I really appreciate the effort you've put in for us."

"Now now, fiancé," Neuro said. "We can't get all fluffy and excited the night before the wedding."

"But I'm so excited I don't feel tired at all!" Yako declared. Sai just watched the baby suckle away, surprised it was nursing the entire time.

"I can shove some sleeping pills down your throat to ease the chaos," Neuro grinned.

"Well, see you guys tomorrow," Sai waved, hopping into the car with Ai. "And I won't forget to disguise myself so Sasazuka won't recognize me!"

"Okay! Bye!" With that, Yako heard a burp and pulled the baby back. "Geez Aya! You managed to nearly kill Mama tonight with your nursing."

"We know where she gets it from," Mrs. Katsuragi said, smiling as she walked up to the two. Yako passed her the baby, knowing her mother was fighting the urge to hold Aya during the ceremony. "But don't worry, Yako was the same when she was a baby, drinking until she felt my rib cage against her lips. But we Katsuragi women have breasts that will never falter! Never fail! Never weaken! You want milk, we'll give it to you!"

"Mom! Not in a church!"

"More breast jokes? This fanfic has lowered itself both in quality and in release speed. The chapters are too long anyway," Neuro stated. "What a load of garbage this has turned out to be. Just in time for the wedding."

His smaller fiancé patted his arm. "Don't be so negative," she said with a wide smile. "Well, anyway, we better get home and go to bed. Want to be well rested for tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow honey!"

"Bye Yako! Good luck tomorrow Neuro!"

"I hope tomorrow will be pleasant for you."

* * *

Yako gently placed Aya down into her crib, kissing her on her forehead and covering her with the cotton blue blanket. "Good night sweetie, have sweet dreams about food like your mama." Neuro yawned, pulling the covers up to his shoulder. Yako slipped into bed, patting her pink pillow. "Good night my soon-to-be husband," she grinned. "And you better sex me senseless at the honeymoon!"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, good night Neuro!" Yako immediately fell asleep, grinning victoriously as Neuro pretended to ignore what he thought he heard.

* * *

Ai stood in the dressing room, awaiting Yako's emergence in her wedding dress. The day had arrived, everything was perfect. The guests were ordered and Sai remembered to disguise himself and not say anything too revealing anymore. "I'm done!" Yako cheered, walking out from behind the curtains. "Yako…how elegant," Ai said, surprised at the sight before her. Yako was different. Her eyes gleamed with a soft, loving beauty as her hair curled at every end. The red lipstick curved perfectly along her lips and the gentle white of the dress encircled Yako with a celestial aura. "What do you think?" the bride asked.

"You look wonderful. Neuro is very lucky."

"I have to make sure to keep him under control though. With my feminine charm he'll want to rip this dress apart and pounce on me," Yako said, making sure enough of her body was exposed to keep a level of elegance and beauty. "I wonder how Neuro is doing getting dressed?"

"Damn it you freak!! Keep the fuck still!" Godai yelled.

"Can't you even put a man's hair in a ponytail? You go to those late night clubs daily don't you?" Neuro moaned.

"You got me confused with somebody else you bitch! I ain't never put somebody's hair in a ponytail! There! Done!"

"About time slave. It's a wonder you can even wipe your own ass," Neuro calmly said, adjusting the height of his suit. "You have the ring or do I have to play plumber with your insides?"

"I got the ring," Godai said. "It's on my finger and I'm curling my hand into a fist so it doesn't get lost."

"Wearing jewelry now? You make me sick," Neuro grinned. "But I suppose not all of us can be pretty. Some of us can only dream."

"I swear if Yako wasn't involved I wouldn't be doing this shit at all." Neuro ignored his slave's mumbling and looked at the watch.

"It's time, come slave. I'm off to marriage!"

The piano began to play, the pianist selecting the typical wedding tune for this ceremony. The flower girl and ring boy walked down the aisle, in this case, Sai and Godai. Neuro followed shortly, looking over the crowds as they rose and watched every step he made. Mrs. Katsuragi was in charge of recording the event, crying as she did. Standing up to the altar, Neuro silently nodded. Suddenly the room grew silent. In any wedding, no matter who or what, the bride was the sight everyone wanted to see. Marriage, in a way, was more about the bride than the groom. Neuro didn't care, today was always about Yako.

Stepping softly onto the red carpet, Yako smiled sweetly at the crowd, taking a small step at a time. Gripping onto the bouquet, she held her anxiety within her by looking at the crowd staring back at her. _"This is it! Neuro and me will be husband and wife! All the fanfics and fanart will finally have some meaning to them!" _she thought to herself. _"I hope I don't trip…that would be horrible! Is mom crying? And she brought Dad's picture? I wonder if the buffet will be great or wonderful? I hope Sai doesn't make any sex jokes…and I hope Sasazuka won't get high. What kind of fanfic is this? A parody?"_

"Watch out," Sasazuka muttered. Yako snapped back into reality, nearly tripping over the first steps. "Sorry," she nervously chuckled. The reverend nodded.

"It's okay to be nervous," he said. "Now, I shall recite the vows."

Yako handed the bouquet to Ai, placing her hands on top of Neuro's palms. He couldn't stop grinning. "You look beautiful," he lip spoke.

"That's so bishounen of you," Yako replied. "Don't go OOC."

The reverend continue, reading word by word. Neuro began to impatiently tap his feet as the words dragged on endlessly. "Do you Neuro Nougami, take Yako Katsuragi to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do you part?"

"I do."

"And do you, Yako Katsuragi, take Neuro Nougami to be your lawfully wedded wife To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part?"

"I do."

"If the couple has their own vows to read, please do so now."

"I'm first!" Yako cheered. "Oh, sorry." Clearing her throat, Yako looked up into Neuro's green eyes and smiled. "Neuro, in the beginning I didn't like you, you smelled like Hell and corpses and treated me like garbage. Some of that is still true but it's nothing compared to your good side, the side that loves me and wants to take care of me just to see me smile. I want to return those affections with my own and give you my heart. Please do not drop it or trip over or place it somewhere and forget about it later."

"Do you have vows of your own Neuro?"

"Yes I do. Yako, the pig in the mud and the cell in my spit, you've developed perfectly and despite me darkest and most sadistic efforts, you've changed me. Despite the laughing, crying, pooping, bouncy, milk engulfing baby that brought us together, I wouldn't have it any other way. You are the only person I will ever mutter these words to. I love you."

Godai was in shock. "Holy shit! That demon has a heart! I declare OOC! Out of character!" The two exchanged wedding rings, Neuro getting his standard band and Yako receiving her ring made from the blood of a 1000 vampires.

"Congratulations!" the reverend smiled. "You may kiss the bride."

"About time!" Neuro grinned, wrapping his arms around the petite girl. She squealed as she felt her feet leave the ground and the demon press down onto her. All she could do was blush and melt away in the passion. After a minute, the two stopped to take a breath and kissed again, rubbing their fingers through each other's hair. Before it could be realized, Neuro was already beginning to undress her and she was unwrapping his suit, digging her fingers into his chest.

"Whoa! Whoa! Save it for the honeymoon!" The reverend suggested.

"Sorry." The couple apologized, fixing their outfits. "To the reception!" Yako cheered. "It's right next door in the community center!"

Yako and Neuro quickly walked down the aisle and made their way to the center. Sasazuka was in charge of carrying the baby so the couple could maneuver easily. The guests followed after, entering the decorated center. To the right was the largest buffet one could imagine! It took up half of the already expansive building. Neuro stared at the food from the table, sighing. "That food cost more than the dress, the suit, and the rings combined."

"But a wedding day must be perfect," Yako smiled, already grabbing her plate and dishes.

"If it's for you," Neuro grinned, leaving his plate empty. Food really wasn't his thing.

As Sasazuka walked in with the baby's seat, Aya began to holler. Turning to the cries, Yako walked over and picked her up. "Ah, are you hungry Aya?" Yako sincerely asked. The baby instinctively pulled down the top of the dress and nursed away. "Even at my wedding you feast! Thank you for taking care of her Sasazuka."

"Neuro, can you fix my plate?" she asked, sitting next to the demon with the baby in her arm.

"You mean plates don't you?"

"You know me so well."

After everyone prepared their plates, they began to tap their glasses with their silverware. "Why are they making that noise?" Neuro asked. Yako leaned in for a kiss.

"It's mean they want us to kiss," she grinned.

"And what does it mean to have sex? Break the plates? Everyone, break your plates!" Neuro laughed.

"No! Those were expensive!" Yako protested.

"I have a toast," Sasazuka said, standing from his seat.

"Really? We'd love to hear it," Yako said.

"To the newlyweds, I wish you the best of luck," he started. "Never forget to love each other and appreciate each other. Always try to understand your spouse and listen to what they say, they say it for a reason. And if your family just so happens to get killed by a psychopath on your sister's birthday and you come home to a house of blood then never stop plotting your revenge until you can squeeze the last breath out of your enemy. Never let a single soul stand in the way of your revenge, even if you have to lower yourself by working with the mafia in South America and have your story written in a novel only a few people have ever read! Never stop until they cry for mercy and repent for what they did! No mercy for the killers! Never stop the hunt! ALL HAIL BRITTANIA! Sorry…..that sort of came out. Best of wishes."

The room applauded.

"He must be high…" Yako sighed.

"Is it getting a little awkward in here?" Sai nervously said.

"I would to make a toast as well," Ai said. "Yako and Neuro are good people who I wish the best of luck to. If they were ever on an airplane I, personally, would not blow them up. Not that I know of such things." The room applauded once again.

"Nothing fazes these people…" Yako noted. "Is this baby still nursing?"

"Time for the dance! Bride and groom are you ready?" the band asked.

"Yep! Come on Neuro! Let's dance and see if those ballroom dance lessons will pay off! Here Higuchi, hold Aya!"

"Su-sure," he said.

Walking to the dance floor, Yako and Neuro took their positions, slowly moving as the slow, gentle music began to play. "We're married!" she said with glee. "You and me!"

"So…I was wondering if you were interested in an open marriage."

"What?!"

"I'm messing with you," Neuro grinned, holding her tighter. "I dedicate myself to you. Aren't you a lucky woman?"

"It may have been early, but we're blessed with a baby and now we're finally married. Neuro, I want life to be the best it can be from now on. I want to raise Aya right and live life to the fullest."

"I agree. After the honeymoon, we'll work hard with the agency and get a good house somewhere in Hell or somewhere near Tokyo."

"Is the real estate cheaper in Hell?"

"Ironically yes."

"Time to throw the bouquet!" Yako declared, turning her back to the crowd of hopeful women.

"It's so obvious Ai's gonna catch it so there will be a SaixAi sequel to this fanfic and we can have our own baby and get married," Sai told Higuchi.

Tossing the bouquet, the woman reached into the air for it like ravenous wolves. "I got it!" a voice cried out. The crowd turned to look. "I got it!" Kanae cheered.

"No sequel?" Sai muttered. "No SaixAi fanfic?"

"Why did she catch it? That's so anticlimactic," Higuchi noted. "She barely showed up in this fanfic at all! It would have been funnier if the author caught it or Sasazuka caught it!"

"Clearly the author has no taste in story telling or plot!" Sai fussed.

After the cutting of the cake, Neuro made sure to grab a slice and shove it in Yako's face. Unfortunately she was able to eat it and nearly bit off his fingers. The dancing was non stop and the baby remained quiet and well fed. Dozens upon dozens of photos were taken, each full of smiling faces and videos full of good wishes.

After the reception and everyone's final wishes of health and happiness, Yako and Neuro walked down the steps of the center and hopped into their car. Aya was already prepared in the back seat thanks to Sasazuka's efforts. The two drove off to their honeymoon getaway in the islands. "Is Aya asleep?" Neuro asked.  
"Yeah," Yako said, watching the baby breathe peacefully. "We can finally have our alone time. The sex scene has arrived!"

Hours later….

Yako panted heavily, recovering from the passion that spent away every drop of energy in her body. Neuro grinned with pride and victory etched on his face. "Neuro…that was amazing!"

"I know."

"You really are a demon! This fanfic should be called Yako's Lucky Day or something."

"And you get to have that for the rest of your life."

"We're missing something though."

"The end of this fanfic?"

"Yeah. The end of this fanfic. It's been a long run but it's finally over. Thank you for reading and I apologize for the lack of a detailed sex scene."

"The readers can use their perverted imagination," Neuro grinned. Aya then began to cry. Yako wrapped the blanket around her body and rose from the bed.

"She must want to sleep with us," Yako smiled. "I better go get her."

"Look at her walk," Neuro whispered, checking out Yako's rear view. "They should have called this Yako's End. The big, juicy end."

THE BIG JUICY END


	30. Chapter 30

Yako's Joke

Yako's Joke

Wedding Videos

Mrs. Katsuragi was in charge of recording the wedding. Naturally she had to interview everyone during the reception and make sure to catch all the good moments. Here all those recordings:

K: Well, if it isn't Sasazuka! How are you enjoying the wedding?

S: I am having a wonderful time.

K: Anything you want to say to the newlyweds?

S: I said what I had to say in my toast. I trust Neuro to take care of Yako.

K: And I appreciate all the help you've provided to Yako and how you watched over her. Almost like a weird pedophile.

S: I'm no pedophile. I'm an avenger.

K: Ai and Sai! The murderers my daughter is associated with!

Ai: Say hello Sai.

Sai: Hey….

A: Sorry, he's a little depressed that there won't be a sequel featuring him and me with our own baby. Cheer up Sai, enjoy the wedding.

S: You're right. After this can I grope you at home?

A: Of course.

K: Is this appropriate for wedding footage? We're not taping a porn here!

S: That is a nice idea for a wedding gift. Should have given them a tape of us.

A: That would be interesting to say the least.

K: I'm shutting this camera off now!

K: Ooh! Higuchi! You were one of the candidates for my daughter. Guess you should have knocked her up first!

H: I don't really like children. Sorry.

K: Oh. Any words of advice for the newlyweds?

H: Well….I can give them all the websites for free anime and music. Call me anytime.

K: I see you brought your laptop. May I ask what you are doing?

H: Oh. I'm recording the wedding using my computer's camera. I'm also subbing the video so Americans and other English speakers can watch it.

K: Aren't you afraid it'll get taken down and you might get arrested?

H: I'm not stupid. I can hack any website in the world. They'll never catch me. I'm also working on an electronic drug for children. I just need a way to market it.

K: My daughter sure has some unusual friends.

K: Godai! The gangster that was enslaved by my new son-in-law! Are you having fun?

G: Yeah. I actually am. I'm happy for them. Hey, don't record that! I don't want that goddamn demon laughing at this later!

K: Too bad! Now the world will know you have a soft side!

G: God damn it!!

K: And the newlyweds! How is your wedding?

Yako: Perfect! It's more than I could have hoped for.

Neuro: After the reception I will sex your daughter brainless!

Y: Don't tell my mother that! And now it's recorded!

K: It's okay Your father was a dirty talker too.

Y: Why must I learn such disturbing facts?

K: And is that my little granddaughter?! Aya! You look so cute! Giggle for your grandma! Come on! Giggle!

Jun: Hey! I have something to say for the newlyweds!

K: Okay go!

J: I know I'm usual goofy and laidback but I worked hard to write something serious so you guys know how much I-

K: Whoops! Out of battery! Better go to the car and get the emergency pack.

J: Crap…


End file.
